If you've been keeping up with this season of Dexter -- only two more episodes to go! -- maybe you've noticed the same thing I have: there's something a little sexy going on between our boy Dex and his new buddy/enemy Miguel, i.e. Jimmy Smits. First they were super close friends, and now they're at each others throats, but either way their relationship has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of the homoerotic. That's it, get all up in his face, Dexter. Now do that kissy kissy thing boys like. Oh wait, that's just me.
The thing that entertains me about the homosexual tension in Dexter is just how long of all of my gay male friends have been complaining about how horribly straight everybody's favorite serial killer is. Before hacking people into bits, actor Michael C. Hall played an unmistakably boy-loving David on Six Feet Under. I was never a big fan of the show, but apparently watching too much of it makes it nearly intolerable to see Hall pretend to lust after -- or at least be vaguely interested in -- girls. Good to know you're getting back to your roots, Dex. Now let's see you and Smits make out before you send his body down the Gulf Stream.
Over at Salon, Heather Havrilesky writes about the virtues of 24: Rememption, a movie-length dose of Jack Bauer meant to tide over fans until the release of the new season this coming January. While viewers swoon over the endlessly badass Bauer, I'm busy being baffled by the sheer number of straight boys I know who have man crushes on Keifer Sutherland. One of them has a Keifer shirt, a Keifer mug, and the desktop on his laptop is a giant shot of Keifer's face. That's one serious man crush. Come on, the man's name is "Keifer"!
What is it about this guy that so appeals to other guys? Sure, he's pretty impressive -- combating terrorists, saving the world from nuclear bombs -- but he's also not a traditional hero. He's not muscular or indestructible. He is, however, fast, smart, and uncannily capable of staying awake for long periods of time without eating or drinking. Is that what you boys admire? Someone please explain this to me.
I totally dig Desperate Housewives. There, I said it. I love its tongue-in-cheek, "let's spoof the genre we're a part of" sensibility. And come on, it was written by Marc Cherry, the genius responsible for The Golden Girls.
But am I the only one slightly uncomfortable by its recent plot twist involving Eva Longoria (excuse me, that's Eva Longoria Parker to you) as the mother of Juanita, a chubby four-year-old? This current season, set five years in the future from last season's events, has viewers trying to figure out how Eva's spoiled, self-centered character Gabby turned into a harried, helpless mother of two girls.
Watching Longoria tackle a different kind of role is funny in itself (love the mom hair and the outfits involving long underwear under short sleeved shirts). But was it really necessary to write in her obsession with Juanita's weight? Recent episodes have Gabby forcing her daughter to run after the car in an effort to make her exercise and struggling to squeeze her into a princess costume.
We get the fact that Cherry is probably having a lot of fun having his beauty queen character mother a child who doesn't fit the beauty queen mold, but Juanita isn't just a character. She's a very real little girl played by Madison de la Garza, and despite Marc Cherry's claims in a recent Us Weekly article that the show is shot in such a way that de la Garza is unaware of the jokes about her size, I cringe at the thought of an older Madison watching that footage when she reaches her vulnerable preteen and teenage years.
Was this plot line really necessary to make the show funny? If Cherry thinks so, then I guess I just don't get the joke.
With the economy slowly sinking into a never ending downward spiral, there is only one positive thing to say about all of this: Maria Bartiromo is on television more. And that’s a good thing.
God, I love this woman. Not only is the CNBC anchor financially savvy and able to put this entire stock market/banking crisis into words that make sense for the average American, she also looks like she could kick Jim Cramer’s ass. I dig tough chicks, and behind those thick lashes and chic suits is one hard-as-nails lady.
A hint of her Brooklyn accent seeps through as she fills us in on how much we should be panicking over the current economic crisis, yet even when she’s giving us bad news, you feel like you could still meet her at a bar for a beer and she would make your day. Sure, her good looks have earned her the nickname "Money Honey" and Joey Ramone once wrote a song about her, but there’s more to Maria than just how cute she is (although she is way cute). She's a financial badass, and in times like these, we need a little more badass around.
Our brothers in arms over at Topless Robot are currently awash in nostalgia for something we children of the 80's can all sigh over: the days of old-school Nickelodeon. Up on the list of "Best Shows You've Forgotten All About" are beloved programs from my cable-adoring childhood -- and probably yours, too -- like "Hey Dude," "The Wonderful World of David the Gnome," and "Salute Your Shorts."
While it may have been a long, long time since I've seen these shows, I can't say I've forgotten them. In fact, I'd add even more classics to the list of awesome old-school Nickelodeon programming that have stayed with me since I was a elementary aged couch potato, like "Double Dare" and "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" Now those were the days of kids TV...
How about you, reader? What makes you nostalgic for old-school Nick?
As much as I love Hugh Laurie, Monday's season premiere of House left me feeling disappointed. After last season's uber dramatic season finale -- someone pass the tissues, because I'm still broken up from that one -- I expected something powerful: instead viewers just got a new level of emotional cat fighting between platonic lover boys Dr. House and Dr. Wilson. Warning: spoilers after the preview.
I'm one of those House fans who believe that House and Wilson, with their long and complicated friendship, should just shut up and make out already. Plenty of erotic fan artists would agree with me. Personally, I feel like this whole "Ooh, I'm leaving the hospital" thing of Wilson's (and this whole, sad-faced, "No, don't go" thing of House's) is their way of saying a big old "I love you." Then again, since Wilson told House he wasn't his friend anymore, it's more like they just broke up.
Lovers, stop spatting, get in each other's pants, and call it a day. Then use the power of sexual healing to solve some more medical mysteries! Who's with me on this one?
This is not a bit of news so much as it is a confession: I've started watching Gossip Girl. Before you can understand why that's such a big deal, you have to understand the Bonnie mentality: anything everyone likes must be bad. That means it took me two years to admit leggings are comfortable and I'm just now reading the first Harry Potter books. Gossip Girl, however, I never expected to like. It's about rich, Upper East Side preps with advantages and bodies I would have murdered puppies for at age 16. No, I much prefer dark, intelligent shows about serial killers or a group of attractive, troubled castaways stuck on an island. Wait, those shows are popular, too? Crap!
The worst part is, it's my little brother who got me into Gossip Girl. Granted, it was his girlfriend who got him into it, but something seems so backwards when the kid who refused to play with your hand-me-down Barbies is now actively suggesting you watch a program that equates to a glossy, anorexic soap opera. OK, the actual worst part is, I like it. No, I'm wrong, the actual actual worst part is I'm only like six episodes in, which means there's so much more wonderful horribleness to go.
I suppose what I'm really saying is, do any of the other intelligent, educated, cynical women around here share my bizarre and incredibly guilty love for the show? Come on, ladies, raise those hands...
I think I've found the cause of my chronic, low-level depression.
MTV's My Super Sweet Sixteen.
I donit mean one episode, either. I mean three or four episodes of the most gag-inducing television ever viewed one after another after another on a Saturday morning while nursing a slight hangover. (And yes, I am including Keeping Up with the Kardashians when I say the most gag-inducing television ever.)
I can't decide what's worse. The fact that the show is completely altering the mindset of America's youth into thinking that a pizza party at the roller rink is no longer acceptable for one's birthday, or the fact that there exists in this country parents who are willing to indulge their children (mostly girls) by throwing soirees that would make Jay Gatsby blush.
So why do I keep watching?
Because I'm totally jealous of these snots, and for a precious 30 minutes, I live vicariously through them! I'm in my thirties, and I want someone to buy me a car and throw me a bitchin' party where everyone is forced to wear white and I'm carried out by muscular men while my VIPs fetch me double gin and tonics. It's a horrible vicious cycle, fueled by anger and desire.
Fine. I admitted it. I have a problem. Does anyone know of a support group I could join, or will Lexapro do the trick?
Pamela Anderson's Pam: Girl on the Loose debuted Sunday night, and we must call bullshit on some of the comments she made during the show's first minute.
Specifically:
1. "This is not a reality show."
Really? Cameras, check. Time slot on E!, check. No script, check. She calls it, instead, "an eight-part documentary series," but we call it reality show with a light or a dark void at the end of the tunnel, depending on how much we like it.
2. "I would never consider doing a reality show."
See above.
3. "You will not see the kids."
Two shots of "the kids" preceded this comment. Maybe she meant, from here on out.
4. "These and this.
"Pam said this while grabbing her trademark boobs and butt, after being asked, "what will we expect to see?" E!, of course, blurred her body parts -- as they will continue to do all season, er, all eight installments of the "documentary series." On behalf of the many men who pretended not to pay attention while their girlfriends or wives watched, we call this one the cruelest fib of all.
Despite Pam's lack of truthiness in the first episode, we'll continue to tune in because of her endearing admission to a youthful and tragic Sun-In experience, her creepy brother who is "a writer" and the fact that she can do a back bend in stiletto heels without breaking an ankle.
If you've been keeping up with this season of Dexter -- only two more episodes to go! -- maybe you've noticed the same thing I have: there's something a little sexy going on between our boy Dex and his new buddy/enemy Miguel, i.e. Jimmy Smits. First they were super close friends, and now they're at each others throats, but either way their relationship has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of the homoerotic. That's it, get all up in his face, Dexter. Now do that kissy kissy thing boys like. Oh wait, that's just me.
Over at Salon, Heather Havrilesky writes about the virtues of 
This is not a bit of news so much as it is a confession: I've started watching Gossip Girl. Before you can understand why that's such a big deal, you have to understand the Bonnie mentality: anything everyone likes must be bad. That means it took me two years to admit leggings are comfortable and I'm just now reading the first Harry Potter books. Gossip Girl, however, I never expected to like. It's about rich, Upper East Side preps with advantages and bodies I would have murdered puppies for at age 16. No, I much prefer dark, intelligent shows about serial killers or a group of attractive, troubled castaways stuck on an island. Wait, those shows are popular, too? Crap!
