Sites We'd Like to Have a Drink With: Topless Robot

Posted at 11:34 AM Dec 22, 2008

By Bonnie Ruberg

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Anne Frank and Dragon Ball Z combine forces in Holocaust cartoon crossover fan fiction!!!

Gingerbread AT-AT makes Star Wars universe deliciously frosted!!!

Nativity scene recreated in Legos turns Jesus' birth into do-it-yourself fun!!!


Where else could these bits of absurdly dorky, absurdly wonderful news come from but Topless Robot? Up until now, we've somehow forgotten our lovely sister site in our regular feature, "Site's We'd Like to Have a Drink With." How is that possible? Not only do these guys work for the same benevolent overlords we do, their dedication to nerdiness astounds and humbles us -- or at least it humbles me. Sure, they like boy things, like video games and Star Trek and pretty girls, but, to be honest, I like those things, too. Let's be friends.

Topless Robot, I heart you in all your random internet video, random craft project, random awful bit of fan fiction glory. You should totally go out for a drink with us sometime. It'll give us a chance to stop thinking about feminism and boys and shoes and just dork out. What do you drink? Wait, do you drink? You don't live in your parents basement, do you? I'm sure your mom is really nice and all, but getting served lemonade on a tray by a woman in an apron at 4:00 in the afternoon wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

Sites We'd Like to Have a Drink With: Daily Bedpost Redux

Posted at 5:38 PM Dec 15, 2008

By Bonnie Ruberg

dailybedpost2.jpgI heart Daily Bedpost. They dole out frank, entertaining sex coverage and advice. They don't shy away from asking questions like "What's your favorite way to seduce someone?" and then filming real people giving their awkward answers. They combine medical knowledge with sex positive pink-ness. And now apparently they're going away.

One of the spots I've featured before in "Sites We'd Like to Have a Drink With," Daily Bedpost may now be getting axed by owner Condé Nast. Of course, in some ways, this is just one more sign that in our economy sucks, but it also highlights how certain publication owners don't consider sex coverage an integral part of journalism. When times are tough, sadly, people think it's not important. This news comes on the tale of countless cancelled sex columns, blog, and radio shows, all of which have sent waves of foreboding through my not-so-little sex writer's community, involving writers like Regina Lynn and Melissa Gira.

The folks over at Love Buzz are also mourning the loss of Em & Lo. My question: will these ladies move on to a new sex-related writing gig, or like many writer friends who've been laid off, will they take their interest in sexuality and look for work outside of publishing?

Sites We'd Like to Have a Drink With: Gourmet.com

Posted at 1:52 PM Dec 08, 2008

By Bonnie Ruberg

gourmetcookies.jpgAs previously mentioned, I have a strange love affair with Gourmet magazine. My subscription came free when I joined MediaBistro and I thought, "Why the heck not? I like mail and pretty pictures." Now it's my favorite of the magazines that arrive at my doorstep -- beating out Wired, New York Magazine, and W. The worst part of that is, I write for Wired! To be fair, I'm not saying Gourmet is better, it's just that it's has nothing to do with my work -- and that is lovely. Instead it teaches me how to bake fondue inside a pumpkin and gives me countless recipe ideas for things I'll probably never get around to making. Oh, and it shows me cookies disguised as flowers. Hearts, Gourmet, that's what I have for you.

Then there's Gourmet.com. Not only have they warned me against eating koala-shaped poison, they've just now shown me how to get the seeds out of a pomegranate (years of my life, potentially wasted, have been given back to me!). Plus they've got a special feature up of recipes for their favorite cookies dating all the way back to 1941. Do you know how many cookies that is? Well no, I don't either, but it's a lot. In general, the site is just awesome, and nowhere near as straight-laced as you'd expect for a big magazine's presence online.

What do you say, Gourmet.com editors? You're probably located in New York, where none of us dolls actually live, and you probably have a lot less interest in our snarky pop culture blog than we do in your cooking, but still, let's be friends. Got any recipes for delicious, fruit-infused sangria? We bet you probably do. In fact, if you made it, we'd even come over and drink it. Because that's what friends are for.

Sites We'd Like to Have a Drink With: Offworld

Posted at 5:47 PM Dec 01, 2008

By Bonnie Ruberg

megaman_by_eluted.jpgFinding a video game site that appeals to girls can be tough. I'm a dork, I like it all, but I know a lot of us don't care about new game stats or trailers for button-smashing bloodbaths. Offworld, however, is a site I'm thinking we all could love. An offshoot of Boing Boing, which already brings us wonderful Internet randomness every day, Offworld covers video games the fun way.  Case in point: a post from today about an image of Megaman painted in an online artist's "menstrual fluid." Yes, that means exactly what you think it does. It takes a little while to believe, but there it is.

What do you say, Offworld? Some of us might be a little less game-savvy than your normal pals, but we heartless dolls would love to get together and maybe throw back some beers while we school you at Rock Band.  What if we promise to paint nothing -- and I mean absolutely nothing -- in our own menstrual blood? Then can we be friends?

Sites We'd Like to Have a Drink With: Boinkology

Posted at 5:12 PM Nov 17, 2008

By Bonnie Ruberg

boinkology.jpgIt's hard to be cute, sexy, and unapologetically blunt at the same time. That's what Boinkology has going for it -- that and the fact that it's always way too much fun. The less porn-centric, silicone-enhanced little sister of Fleshbot (the editor, Lux, now runs both sites), Boinkology is somewhere between your sex ed teacher and your kinkily-obsessed, nerdy best friend -- which is to say, it's great. Right now, for example, the site is covering everything from not-so-sexy Craigslist ads to anti-homophobic propaganda to our hot new President-elect.

What do you say, Boinkology? We like sex. You like sex. We should get together sometime for an imaginary drink to talk about it. We'd like to ask you, for example, what you think of salacious children's clothing and gravity-defying panties and much, much more. Just don't dare us to stick potatoes in our orifices -- well, at least the ones into which you wouldn't normally stick a potato.

Sites We'd Like to Have a Drink With: Go Fug Yourself

Posted at 1:13 PM Nov 10, 2008

By Bonnie Ruberg

Call it the stress of the election, but lately my life has been full of guilty pleasures. Gossip Girl, High School Musical 3, and now Go Fug Yourself, a site dedicated to how fugly beautiful people can look. The thing is, I don't even know who most of the celebrities are -- but I know it feels good to point at their funny clothing and laugh. Then laugh some more. Even the celebs I love, like Serena from Gossip Girl, don't escape the Go Fug Yourself treatment. It's true, honey, you should get some pants:

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What do you say, Go Fug Yourself? After a particularly hard Monday morning, we could definitely go for a little after-work guilty pleasure, say in the form of a few beers. Then again, we dolls would have to be super careful to dress our best, and not make any fashion faux-pas. Otherwise we might end up in a fugly blog post of our own.

Sites We'd Like to Have a Drink With: The Frisky

Posted at 2:20 PM Nov 03, 2008

By Bonnie Ruberg

thefrisky.jpgThe Frisky is a relatively new site, but it's already full of great tidbits on politics, celebrities, and my favorite: kinky sex. With writers like Rachel Kramer Bussel and Susannah Breslin, how can they go wrong? Recent coverage includes, for example, tips for overcoming election day anxiety (2. After you've voted, spike your morning coffee with Bailey's), and stylish laptops for women (Can you say pretty in pinkish red?). They strike a great balance between the girlie, the current, and the plain-old smart.

So what do you say, Frisky? Want to have an imaginary drink with us Heartless Dolls sometime? We could exchange amusing sex stories and celeb gossip. Hey, we know how to make frozen margaritas. Now if that's not an enticement...

Sites We'd Like to Have a Drink With: Bitch Magazine

Posted at 11:10 AM Oct 27, 2008

By Bonnie Ruberg

For us pro-girl writers who like to think about pop culture, Bitch is the mother of all feminist magazines. With its unapologetic, intelligent, and confident approach to analyzing the world, Bitch's mere existence is like having an awesome friend standing behind you at all times ready to beat up anybody who calls you "a stupid girl," or in my case, announces he must be better than you at video games because he's male. Yuck. Just this month, Bitch had a great piece giving a feminist spin to women Internet writers scrounging for recognition called, "The Ambition Condition."

What do you say, Bitch? Can our two sites go out for a drink? Sure, you're a print magazine at heart, but you have a cool blog. We might sit and stare at you in a way that says, "We can't believe we're actually sitting across the table from Bitch!", but we'll get over it, promise. Just give us time.

Sites We'd Like to Have a Drink With: Lesbian Gamers

Posted at 1:17 PM Oct 13, 2008

By Bonnie Ruberg

Being a woman and being a video gamer can be a tough enough combination without also being gay. The video game community, God bless its predictable little soul, is often cruel to people who don't fit the bill of male, heterosexual, hardcore-ness -- and lesbian gamers are no strangers to homophobic or otherwise hateful remarks in that realm. That's why I have so much respect for the ladies over at Lesbian Gamers, who run their site with an unapologetic eye for all things so totally gay... in the good, literal kind of way.

Lesbian Gamers ask questions like, "Which video game girls are gay?", "Which ones would go good together in lesbian couples?", and "How are girls in general treated in video game advertising?" Those are all important -- and often fun -- questions, Lesbian Gamers. That's why Heartless Doll was wondering whether you'd like to discuss them over a drink sometime. We're not trying to ease our way into anything romantic (not that we'd be against that, we're just not that slick), but feel free to over-analyze our offer in a way that's simultaneously entertaining and enlightening. What do you say?

Hearts!

Sites We'd Like to Have a Drink With: Urlesque

Posted at 11:15 AM Oct 06, 2008

By Bonnie Ruberg

The Internet can be a wonderful but overwhelming place sometimes. There's so much to see, so many ridiculous videos and photos to check out while you're supposed to be working. That's why I'm downright thankful for Urlesque, the site that brings together the best of online craziness. Trompe l'oeil chalk paintings? Goat condoms? Cats in uniform? They've got it all. Someday, we Heartless Dolls aspire to be as cool as these guys. Who else could write, in reference to an actual feline in a conductor's outfit who makes way too much money from tourists, "There's no better way to fix a mortgage crisis than with a couple of cats in business suits?"

So what do you say, Urlesque? Can we interest you in a cocktail hour that will doubtless be filled with LOL references and renditions of "Chocolate Rain?" Heck, after enough to drink we might even go old school and break down into the hamster dance.

Sites We'd Like to Have a Drink With: Jezebel

Posted at 3:20 PM Sep 29, 2008

By Bonnie Ruberg

If there's one site that makes us proud every single day to be a pop culture blog for girls, it's Jezebel. While we make feminist comments about what we please -- toys, television, the always humorous Sarah Palin -- these girls cover it all. They're toiling morning, noon, and night to bring us reports of skinny celebs and ridiculous gender expectations. Heck, they turn the whole Gawker "work work work" thing around for a good cause. That cause: us.

Jezebel may be stationed back in New York, but that won't stop us from asking them to have a theoretical drink with us. What do you say, Jezebel gals? We could all sit around and make cosmos, though they never turn out as pretty as they do in darkened bars. We could talk about the election or Ellen and Portia or whatever. Just let's be friends, ok? Ok? We'll take that as a "yes."

Sites We'd Life to Have a Drink With: Laughing Squid

Posted at 11:01 AM Sep 22, 2008

By Bonnie Ruberg

So many tentacles, so little time.

Laughing Squid is the kind of website that makes me proud to live in this lovely city so despised by Republican vice presidential nominees. With a speed it's hard to match in print or on standard websites, these quirky bloggers deliver the latest info on what to do in the Bay Area. Not only is Laughing Squid ("art, culture and technology from San Francisco and beyond") a supporter of this year's Arse Elektronika, they're also just downright useful, especially for fun-loving weirdos like me. Up today on the blog, for example, we've got an invite to a "Prim and Proper Queer Tea Party" taking place during the Folsom leather parade, info on an art show where cars are shaped like telephones etc., and a song about how you're not anybody if you're not on Twitter. Sad but true.

So what do you say, Laughing Squid? Would you be willing to sit down with us Heartless Dolls sometime for a drink? We'd suggest a place, probably sometime trendy and hipster down in the Mission, but we bet you know a heck of a lot more than we do about where the cool spots are for unusual happy hours. Or maybe we'll see you at the Folsom street fair. We'll be fully clothed, but we expect to see you, tentacles and all, wearing a leather mask and getting spanked for charity. It seems like that's just the kind of squid you are.

Sites We'd Like to Have a Drink With: Daily Bedpost

Posted at 10:40 AM Sep 17, 2008

By Bonnie Ruberg

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Glance at it real quick, and you might think Daily Bedpost is a normal sex advice blog. There's medical advice, masturbation advice, condom advice... But look closer -- and this is what makes Daily Bedpost so cool -- and you'll see the advice authors Em, Lo, and Dr. Kate give isn't the stodgy type. No, they approach sex with a sense of humor and acceptance. Whether they're asking "What's the kinkiest thing you've ever done" or riffing on online dating or listing off fetishes, Daily Bedpost always does it in style. Would else would tell us our bruises are the newest fashion statement?

So what do you say, Daily Bedpost? In between fielding questions and prodding the internet community for their dirtiest secrets, do you think you have a time for a drink with us Heartless Dolls? We could ask you some questions of our own, but we'd rather sit back and listen to your stories, because we're betting they're pretty colorful. As for your favorite drink, Sex on the Beach might be too obvious. What sort of cocktail do sassy, gynecologically savvy bloggers drink anyway?

Hearts!

Sites We'd Like to Have a Drink With: Salon's Broadsheet

Posted at 11:31 AM Sep 08, 2008

By Bonnie Ruberg

Salon's Broadsheet blog is one of my favorite destinations for feminist insights on the election, responses to pop culture, and even the pricing of British prostitutes (average: $110 a pop). Just check out this video from Broadsheet blogger Tracy Clark-Flory debunking the flurry surrounding news of a "monogamy" gene:

Hey, Broadsheet ladies, us Heartless Doll girls would love to have you over for an Irish coffee sometime. We could use the caffeine+ first thing in the morning, and you could help us deal with the horrible reality that is Sarah Palin by analyzing her into manageable chunks. What do you say? After all, it's almost noon (in some parts of the country) and we start early...

Girl blog hearts!

Sites We'd Like to Have a Drink With: Feministing

Posted at 2:00 PM Aug 25, 2008

By Bonnie Ruberg

Heartless Doll's series of "Sites We'd Like to Have a Drink With" continues this week, having taken a full seven days to recover from Naughty America's fleshlights, with the excellent blog Feministing. With its finger in the air in a moment of sexy objection, Feministing calls out our pop culture objectification of women everywhere from TV to ads to the presidential campaign. Just today, these permanently peeved and wonderful gals posted about Dora the Explorer getting a makeover to "explore an older, racier market." Little Dora? No!

Feministing, we're not sure if you swing that way (we're not sure if we do either) but you should totally come out for a drink with us sometime. Even if your mascot only has one leg, we think it'd be a lot of fun to rip into the commercials on the bar TV and get all angry in a constructive way. So what do you say? Cosmopolitans would be way too Sex in the City (read: faux female empowerment) and beers would be all "I'm trying to acquire male power by acting like a man." Whiskey sours? How about whiskey sours? They're both strong and delicious.

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