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You might expect that, for a man who spends much of his time observing the sprawling pseudo-natural beauty of the golf course, Tiger Woods would be a gentle and caressing lover. A man who wants to make out behind the pro shop. A man who would blush at the suggestive handling of a nine-iron.

You would be wrong. Because the sexts he sent to his many mistresses are, well, kinky as hell. And kind of scary. And now, they are online. Tiger appears to be a tiger in the bedroom. To honor his naughty prose, I combined the best of his sexts into a poem any Digg addict would be proud to jot down in his bio-chem 101 notebook.

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If you like phat beats, montages and women's studies, you're going to like the e-mail I got this morning from New York City comedian Jenny Hagel telling me about her web video series, "Feminist Rapper." I do like phat beats, montages and women's studies, but I also love sweet videos I can post about feminism, because I am spending my spring break writing my master's thesis, which just so happens to be about female comedians. I am stressed out, angry and desperate for anything that will actually make me laugh. And this video totally does. Take it away, Jenny!

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What's scarier than the phrase "Cosmo investigates?" I'll tell you: "grey-rape."

Alongside their beauty tips, Man Manual and fashion spreads, Cosmo is taking on "grey rape." What's grey-rape? It's a product of hook-up culture (natch, because rape didn't happen until feminists got all pissed off about it), and it's a special kind of rape that is only kind-of sort-of rape, because the rapist might have known the rapee, or something, and she was drunk, and, oh well, it's all so GREY.

The article is in Cosmo's "Tips and Moves" section, along with "The Secret To Getting Any Guy," "His Favorite Time To Have Sex" and "PDA Moves He's Actually Okay With." So, once you've figured out how to make every man on earth happy, you can learn what to do if one of them kind of accidentally rapes you!

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Last week, Amnesty International released a report on the atrocious maternity death rate here in the United States, which we mentioned here on HD. According to the report, inaccessible and overpriced medical care are responsible, as well as the over-use (over-prescription?) of cesarean section births. And, indeed, the same week the Amnesty International report came out, the National Institutes of Health held a "census development" conference on the use of C-sections--determining eventually that doctors are too quick to rule out vaginal labor. Vaginas: 1, medicalization of birth: 0, at least in this round.

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In honor of DC Comics' 75th anniversary this year, Entertainment Weekly decided they were going to end the age-old debate about who was better, Batman or Superman. While there really is no need to pose that question in the first place (Batman is superior to all), they took it deeper than just who would win in a fight. Who's more popular? Who's got the cooler costume? They don't actually give an answer but either way, it really has become an overused debate. So, what about their lady counterparts?

By Nicki Escudero

I just don't understand why some guys like to be called Daddy and why some women call their significant others by that name. When is that at all appropriate? If your dad sucked to begin with, do you really want a constant reminder of a parental unit you were never fond of? And, if you actually liked your dad, it's probably best to reserve the title of Daddy for him and only him, because we all know sleeping with your dad is wrong, not to mention illegal.

Not that Usher cares. His first single off his current album, Raymond v. Raymond, is called, "Hey Daddy (Daddy's Home)," and it's recently resurged on the Billboard Hot 100 charts. In the track, Usher demands his lady call him Daddy, right after she "pokes that bottom up in the air." The ultra-classy video has a dance studio full of women doing just that in front of Usher, right before he goes home to "do a lot of sexin'" with someone else.

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I feel like I should immediately qualify the title of this post with a "I realize she values some stupid things and also supports an industry which contributes to the cult of beauty which is admittedly terrible for women," but other than that small problem, I totally respect Kelly Cutrone.

For those of you who don't live and breathe reality TV the way I do (totally bragging here, btw), Kelly Cutrone is the CEO and owner of People's Revolution, a fashion PR company based in New York and Los Angeles. She's been a sort of no-nonsense, harsh and scary shadow figure on other reality shows, including The Hills and The City, but with Bravo's Kell on Earth, she steps into the spotlight AND INTO MY HEART.

In the spirit of La Cutrone, we'll cut to the chase and countdown the 10 bestest reasons to gather ye rosebuds while ye may and scatter ye petals in Kelly's wake. I don't really know where I was going with that sentence but, whatever, let's get to the business of worshiping!

10. The Caftan Outfits

God. These are just GLORIOUS. Kell on Earth was filmed during the sweltering hot late summer months in New York and yet there Kelly is, in scene after scene, wearing a giant tent thing and a balaclava all made by Prada or whomever. Mad props, Cutrone. Mad props.

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9. Her Baby Daddy (Ilario Calvo)

This dude is some serious man candy-which, by the way, is a word I rarely use except when drunk or on the internet, apparently. Anyway, I love Kelly's non-traditional, sometime relationship with this beautiful European man. I am, however, slightly skeptical of Kelly's insistence on proclaiming the non-commital-ness of it as "fine" with her. She looks a wee bit fragile and misty eyed when speaking his name and/or laying eyes on him. Then again, I am probably projecting here.

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With less complicated special-effects technology and, sadly, a whole lot less Isaiah Mustafa, Kotex appears to be prepared to release their own self-deprecating version of the Old Spice "I'm On A Horse" ad. Instead of blue liquid and beach-dancing and flowers and white pants, Kotex is going the satirical route of simply calling out everything everyone has thought was stupid about feminine hygiene product marketing. So far, the folks behind Kotex U have uploaded six commercials and spots (HAHAHAHA) to YouTube, generally demystifying menstruation and, additionally, mocking said mystification.

Bonus: one commercial even features Zelda. Yes, that Zelda.

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Back in January, New York University prof Clay Shirky wrote "A Rant About Women," wherein he argued that if women would only be mouthy and arrogant and demanding, great things would happen to them in the workplace. As in, if women would just start acting like men, they would be a lot better off professionally. This caused a reasonable amount of uproar in the blogging community, and now Shirky is back to talk about his "Rant" again, this time via the BBC's "World Have Your Say."

I think it's fair to say that Shirky does not appear to have read any of the many and various responses to his "Rant" detailing why his outlook is problematic, because then he would be like, "Oh yeah, I should have written this instead because I failed to take almost everything about how the gendered world actually works into account." It is probably also fair to say that Shirky's latest "Rant"-extension is more offensive than the first, because his latest addition just proves his own point wrong: many, many women spoke up in response to his article. They were pushy. Arrogant. Jerks. And you know what? His second "rant" is exactly like the first. Gosh, it's like women were totally ignored no matter what! Interesting.

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I have a theory that eventually everyone I know will have, at least once, tried online dating. For better or worse, we all get to the point someday--maybe after a big bad breakup, maybe after a particularly dry stretch, maybe out of sheer boredom or curiosity--that we think, What could it hurt? I'll just try it and see.

Yet, despite the fact that almost everyone I know has a profile up, the results for most of us have been mixed at best. More often than not, conversations about online dating center around horror stories so similar that they almost take on a quality of urban legend. Vaguely familiar characters pop up, and most of the time we all know where the story is going almost before it has begun. This is because, like legend, the world of online dating is populated by archetypes familiar to anyone who has tried a hand on MatchCupidHarmony.com. For those of you who wonder what this online dating is really all about, please find below a helpful guidebook to the worst bullshit you will encounter. Warning: not for the faint of heart or the borderline cynical.

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10) Public self-loathers

A picture and headline pop up in your search list that seem promising. But when you click on the profile, you are smothered with a barrage of blatant self-loathing. I am lazy! I am fat! I am terrible with women/men and super-geeky! I've stopped caring what people think of me and I don't know why you'd message me but whatever, this is stupid anyway! UGH! Didn't your mom tell you that if you don't love yourself, no one else will love you either? Put your best face forward, people.

9) Angry, socially-awkward people who don't get why you don't like them

Fellow Doll Andrea has already discussed this hot mess, but her message bears repeating: no one wants to be berated on an online dating site about being uninterested or slow to respond. Sometimes people don't like you, and your throwing a hysterical fit about it isn't going to win anyone over. Maybe if you did a little work on those people skills, you could meet/keep someone in real life.

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I was pretty fucking excited to find out that even though I hadn't been watching too much CW of late--my doctor said I'd been getting too much crap on TV--my TiVo majestically captured the premiere of America's Next Top Model (as well as VH-1's Sober House).