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I believe I am the target market for Reebok's supposedly ass-inflating shoes--as noted before, I lack a trunk of junk. But Reebok has thus far not been particularly inspiring with their advertisements for EasyTone sneakers, the ones that are supposed to tone my butt 28 percent more (than ... flip flops? Cowboy boots?). Last year, I was uninspired by their objectifying, reductionist ad for the shoes featuring a leering camera man and a silly, silly girl who just thought being leered at was so silly! Giggle!

But can a new happy, dancey ad featuring happy, dancey perfect asses convince me to purchase these $100 sneakers in hopes of having the butt I've always wanted? (Which more or less means, "a butt, any butt.")

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Settle in for a long, long ride on the This Is A Thing Now Train, because male marketing and male beauty products are here to stay, along with no shortage of discussion about the same. This week in AdAge, Jack Neff explores the phenomenon of selling beauty--or anything else--to men and gives some interesting examples of products that actually started as "lady" products. Any of you girls want to fire up a Marlboro? They were originally for you!

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Amazon, I hope you're prepared to fight like the fierce ladies you share a name with, because you've just made a butt-load of new enemies. You may have heard of them, they're called geeks. Also, nerds, dorks and the people who run the world. Kindle is great and all, but you just screwed yourself.

Amazon had a massive ... let's call it "sale" ... on a large number of comic book omnibuses (omnibi?), trade paperbacks and other assorted collections over the weekend. I'm talking books that run close to, if not over $100 being offered for $14.99 or less. Comic fans placed orders in droves, most purchasing hundreds of dollars in merchandise. And then, Amazon noticed a glitch in the matrix and *poof* orders started disappearing overnight. Did they think we wouldn't notice?

By Nicki Escudero

FINALLY! A Top 40 hip-hop song that is anti-cheating!!! And one that's anti-reality television! And one that's anti-plastic surgery! Thank you, B.o.B., for "Nothin' on You." Thank you.

The guy, whose real name is Bobby Ray Simmons, is only 21, and he's already singing such a cool song about commitment--definitely a step ahead of many of his older peers in the rap game.

Right away at the start of the song, he admits he used to be a little bit of a player, but it got him nowhere: "On the carousel so around I spun, with no directions just tryin' to get some/This is how I lost more than I had ever won, and honestly I ended up with none." What an awesome message for young men to hear, and one that might perpetuate more respect towards women, making them more than just conquests.

By Merritt Martin

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While on Monday's episode of House, the diminutive but sensitive Dr. Taub offered that privacy is a relatively modern notion--and lawdy knows I love me some House--I gotta say we should really relish a certain amount of it. Especially when it comes to Twitter and Facebook.

And absolutely, the world of social networking is an amazing thing. We can maintain communication across vast distances effortlessly. We can share important news information and we can also read casual shit--what our friends and "friends" are doing, thinking and even eating at any given time. Unfortunately, in many cases, we can also see those things as well.

Here's what we really just don't need to have seen, or see anymore. Ever.

10. The app-produced collage of your top friends

Maybe it's of the people who comment the most, or who have the most shared favorites as you. Whatever it is, it's usually badly pixilated and really irritating.

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9. Your kid post-poop

I know it's great that little Chucky mastered the training toilet after 4 months of crappy pants and smeared walls, but for fuck's sake, don't ever make him pose for a photo next to it. And if you do, don't you dare post it to your news feed. STFU, Parents has my back on this.

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Welcome, interwebs! Extra Extra! is a round-up of our favorite tabloid headlines and tidbits, collected from hallowed corners of the internet and trusted grocery store check-out aisles. All aboard for Crazytown, this is your captain speaking: We're taking a non-stop flight on SmutWay Express!

FROM US WEEKLY:
Cover: How She Tricked Him

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A week or two ago, a friend sent me a video of a little girl crying about her love for Justin Bieber. I don't know who Justin Bieber is exactly, but I am guessing that he's probably some dreamy heartthrob a la NKOTB who makes the insides of even the smallest future-lady turn to Jell-O.  I guess the video is kinda funny, but mostly it just makes me squirm because I remember being a child like that--dramatic, tear-prone, and totally in love with boys way before she was supposed to be.

Which made me start thinking about how technology makes all this youthful crazy PUBLIC now. We all grew up (or at least most of us did) in an era when it was relatively difficult to publicly humiliate yourself outside of your school/town. People always worry about sexting and titty-pictures and all that business, but really, shouldn't we be just as worried about all the embarrassing, passive-aggressive, angsty and emo posts the kids are going to regret making public when they realize how silly they are? I know that if I had been allowed to publicize my thoughts in 140 characters or less as a teenager, I would not be able to read what I'd written today without turning a shade of bright red that would have matched my senior-year sneakers. I imagine those tweets would have looked something like the following--10 Tweets My High School Self Would Have Tweeted:

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10) My mom and dad are such controlling jerks. DON'T THEY KNOW I'M 14???? #notababy #treatmelikeagrownup

Remember when you felt like 14 was really old?  That was ridiculous.

9) This Dashboard Confessional album makes me feel infinite. #emo #perksofbeingawallflower

"Emo" barely begins to describe the depth of my high school angst and ennui.

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SPRING BREAK! Time to whip out your tits, patronize an underprivileged country by purchasing large amounts of tequila and watch an Amy Poehler spoof about spring break culture. Load up your suit with sand and get ready to be titillated! And by "titillated," I mean "a little confused about what Poehler is doing with this thing." Via Bitch mag, here's the trailer for Wild Girls Gone, a film that will be released on ... iTunes. Hmm. Anyway, here you go:

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It's always a nice surprise when you get a guy home and you're going for the big reveal, and tada! it's a big fish! Not that big fish are the only kind ladies like to eat, but an extra-filling snack can definitely be a fun bonus. However, sometimes a gentleman's pants don't have to be dangling 'round his ankles for us to be able to tell that he's packing a sardine--and that's when the bad times start.

Dudes, it's really not a big deal if your johnson isn't a big deal. The problem starts when you try desperately to make up for it by, well, doing things besides having a great personality and fine sense of humor and sweet in-the-sack skills. Anything else is kind of sad. And funny. But mainly sad. Here are 10 ways through which it's obvious a guy is overcompensating:

10. Driving a vehicle with a "lift."

We've got a lot of transportation-related faux pas to get through on this list, and the first is putting a lift on your truck. Nothing says "I wish a certain something was bigger" like making your damned car bigger. Or taller. Or whatever. I already know you're getting ready to quibble with me about this, which leads me to the next point ...

9. Always needing to be right.

If it's important that a dude has the last word, it's important that that dude also know he's not fooling anyone. Hopefully, insufferable quibbling over social theory or which actor was in that one film or whether two plus two always equals four will keep mouthy, pushy dudes largely out of sex's way. Oh, who are we kidding? Reality television exists to prove otherwise. Sigh.

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Per Jezebel today, it looks like we've all been fooled! Yes, us silly ladies have fallen prey to the fox-like tactics of Chrysler (parent company to Dodge) for being all panty-wadded about that atrocious Charger ad that aired during the Super Bowl. See, it was part of their super-smart plan all along to cause outrage! I know I feel a lot better now. Sexism is a thing of the past, and we can all celebrate the wonderful world of equality which, until the airing of that ad, did not exist.

And to prove it, Dodge has come out with an (online only) ad that is meant to prove to women that they, too, can drive Dodge cars with confidence and abandon: