(Not-So) Hot Lady Track of the Week: Mann and Jason Derülo's "Text"

Posted at 8:00 AM May 05, 2010

By Nicki Escudero
Just hit him with a text, you female, you

When there's a song by an artist named Mann, you know there's going to be some gender divide in the lyrics.

And this R&B singer doesn't disappoint, as his single "Text" talks all about how "his female" is freaky deeky when it comes to sending come-hither messages via cell phone.

The song is all about the wonders of text message sex, as well as how cellies are great tools in getting it on quickly--"Hit me wit a text," Jason Derülo sings, "It could go down, hit me, and I'll be around." Ah, hook-up buddies at their finest.

Now there's nothing wrong with having someone who's up for sex whenever on your speed dial as long as both parties consent, but Mann isn't really respectful in the way he describes his partner throughout the tune.

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(Sort-of) Hot Lady Track of the Week: Rihanna's "Rude Boy"

Posted at 8:00 AM Apr 28, 2010

Really? You need a rude boy, Rihanna?

By Nicki Escudero

I've been putting off writing about this track by Rihanna for awhile because it's been so dang hard to identify whether it's empowering or simply giving in to guys who are, well, plain rude.

In the song, Rihanna calls out a guy for being a "rude boy," then says she'll let him take advantage of her sexually--time to get it up, y'all! In the first verse, it's all about him taking control, as she lets the boy be "the captain" and "the rider." Sounds like a pretty weird proposition for someone who's been rude to her, but knowing Rihanna, maybe she's just trying out some reverse psychology on the boy.

Until she asks him to love her. She sings, "Take it, baby, love me, love me." It's a little disturbing--Rihanna seems like a perfectly nice person who doesn't deserve to be in abusive relationships. While she expressed her feelings about former boyfriend Chris Brown perfectly healthily in this hot lady track, it's as if she's excusing guys she dates for being mean-spirited, as long as they satisfy her sexually.

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(Not-So) Hot Lady Track of the Week: Ciara's "Ride" feat. Ludacris

Posted at 7:00 AM Apr 23, 2010

By Andrea Grimes


Fact: Ciara is a pop star.

Fact: Ciara can dance like what.

Fact: Ciara does so much dancing like what, she has to wear knee pads.

Fact: Ciara's new single, "Ride" and accompanying video are not especially doing much in the way of empowering female sexuality, despite what Tracy over at Broadsheet says. "Ride" is a song about humping and thumping being awesome because men like it. Classic female validation through male approval. Yawwwwwwnnnnnn.

Per an unusually boat-missing Broadsheet post, wherein Tracy posits that Ciara is "refreshingly different." Hmm:

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(Not-So) Hot Lady Track of the Week: Usher and Will.i.am 's "OMG"

Posted at 8:00 AM Apr 14, 2010

By Nicki Escudero
Will.i.am wants to love you down

Thank you, Usher, for providing us yet again with such a charming gem of a song that really builds women up.

Yeah, right.

This time around, in "OMG," Usher and his pal Will.i.am provide us with a beautiful rendition on just what makes the guys say, "Wow." You know, a great booty, beautiful boobies and wonderful style. It's enough to make them want to love you--well, almost enough.

You also need to be able to pop and lock it on the dance floor, and hitting on the men before they approach you scores you extra points.

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Hot Lady Track of the Week: Spose's "I'm Awesome"

Posted at 8:00 AM Apr 07, 2010


By Nicki Escudero

Sometimes, just when you feel so low that you can't get any lower, telling yourself that you're awesome might just get you to start believing it. 

That's got to be the philosophy of Spose, a newcomer to the rap game whose self-deprecating rhymes drive the amusing track, "I'm Awesome," and just about every other track that's currently on the guy's MySpace. It's amazing the guy doesn't even have 7,000 friends yet, considering he's signed to Universal Republic Records, also home to stars such as Amy Winehouse and Tori Amos, but you'll probably be hearing a lot more from this guy soon.

In "I'm Awesome," Spose pretty much lists all the reasons people might not think he's awesome--back zits, pot smoker, drives his mom's car--and turns the track into a giant, sarcastic, f-you to the haters who don't believe.

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(Not-so) Hot Lady Track of the Week: Ludacris and Nicki Minaj's "My Chick Bad"

Posted at 8:00 AM Mar 31, 2010

By Nicki Escudero
Nicki Minaj is bad, alright

Oh, how good it must feel to be Ludacris' chick.

He says his chick is bad, hood and way better than yours. After all, her body won't quit, and she knows how to ride dick and handle her liquor. All that you could ever want in a chick, right?

That's how Luda describes his gal pal in the song, "My Chick Bad," which is graced by the oh-so-classy Nicki Minaj.

While in the first verse, he commends the chick for looking so beautiful in an all-white outfit (just like milk), he then confuses listeners by saying he'd "knock a bitch out and fight, coming out swinging like Tiger Woods' wife". No worries, though--Luda's whole crew would like to bone her, so everything should be fine.

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Hot Lady Track of the Week: Travie McCoy and Bruno Mars' "Billionaire"

Posted at 8:00 AM Mar 24, 2010

By Nicki Escudero
Travie McCoy doin' his thang

OK, so this track isn't specifically geared towards women (though it does give Oprah a ton of shout-outs), but it's just so darn infectious and positive for all humanity that is thus deserves a "Hot Lady Track of the Week" stamp of approval.

I'm talking about "Billionaire," by Gym Class Heroes front man Travie McCoy (he used to go by Travis, FYI.) It also features Bruno Mars, who appeared on Hot Lady Track "Nothin' on You."

This upbeat spring/summertime jam has a reggae flavor, with McCoy rapping about all the generous things he'd do if he was a billionaire (and Mars singing about some of the more selfish things he'd do--going to "a different city every night"--but that could also be construed as traveling the world and doing good things, too.)

Among the things McCoy would get started on--adopting/fostering unfortunate kids, granting wishes for terminally ill people and feeding the hungry. Yes, he also says he'd like to have his own theme music wherever he walks, but think about what he could have said he wanted (like many other rappers would if they were billionaires): lots of women, huge houses, 20 cars. In this song, McCoy talks about giving Mercedes away to people!

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(Not-So) Hot Lady Track of the Week: Usher's "Hey Daddy (Daddy's Home)"

Posted at 8:00 AM Mar 17, 2010

You can't tell what Usher's looking at behind those shades

By Nicki Escudero

I just don't understand why some guys like to be called Daddy and why some women call their significant others by that name. When is that at all appropriate? If your dad sucked to begin with, do you really want a constant reminder of a parental unit you were never fond of? And, if you actually liked your dad, it's probably best to reserve the title of Daddy for him and only him, because we all know sleeping with your dad is wrong, not to mention illegal.

Not that Usher cares. His first single off his current album, Raymond v. Raymond, is called, "Hey Daddy (Daddy's Home)," and it's recently resurged on the Billboard Hot 100 charts. In the track, Usher demands his lady call him Daddy, right after she "pokes that bottom up in the air." The ultra-classy video has a dance studio full of women doing just that in front of Usher, right before he goes home to "do a lot of sexin'" with someone else.

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Hot Lady Track of the Week: B.o.B Featuring Bruno Mars' "Nothin' on You"

Posted at 7:00 AM Mar 10, 2010

A fine gentleman

By Nicki Escudero

FINALLY! A Top 40 hip-hop song that is anti-cheating!!! And one that's anti-reality television! And one that's anti-plastic surgery! Thank you, B.o.B., for "Nothin' on You." Thank you.

The guy, whose real name is Bobby Ray Simmons, is only 21, and he's already singing such a cool song about commitment--definitely a step ahead of many of his older peers in the rap game.

Right away at the start of the song, he admits he used to be a little bit of a player, but it got him nowhere: "On the carousel so around I spun, with no directions just tryin' to get some/This is how I lost more than I had ever won, and honestly I ended up with none." What an awesome message for young men to hear, and one that might perpetuate more respect towards women, making them more than just conquests.

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Hot Lady Track of the Week: Lady Gaga and Beyoncé's "Telephone"

Posted at 8:00 AM Mar 03, 2010

Don't they just look like they belong together?
By Nicki Escudero

I'm sure I'm not the only lady out there who could say they've been with a guy who has no problem on going on countless "nights with the fellas," which only turn out to be romps through skeezy nightclubs or bars macking on other ladies. And the moment you want to have an innocent girls' night, your phone suddenly starts blowing up like your significant other is in some dire state of emergency, when really he's just trying to keep tabs on you and your friends.

Lady Gaga and Beyoncé put those sentiments in a track that is making kids in the clubs go crazy, "Telephone." The sassy, back-and-forth duet has Gaga and B telling their men to stop with the speed-dialing and to relax--because really, who can have fun doing the lawnmower when your cellie's almost vibrating out of your pants?

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(Sort-of) Hot Lady Track of the Week: Taio Cruz's "Break Your Heart"

Posted at 8:00 AM Feb 24, 2010

By Nicki Escudero
Stop drooling--he's only going to break your heart

Now, of course it really sucks when someone you're romantically involved with does you wrong. It's so hard to fall for someone, only to have them cheat on you, or break up with you out of the blue, or not give you the commitment you're so willing to give them.

But really, if a guy tells you straight off the bat he's not in it for the long haul and will only hurt you, then at least he's being honest, right?

That's the premise behind British hottie Taio Cruz's new single, "Break Your Heart." The majority of the lyrics of the catchy electronic/R&B song are simply, "I'm only gonna break break your, break break your heart."

True, not the easiest message to hear from someone, but at least Cruz is being up-front about his desire to stay single--you can have some fun, but don't get too attached. It's better than leading someone on, then hurting them (hello, New Boyz.)

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(Not-So) Hot Lady Track of the Week: Usher and Nicki Minaj's "Lil' Freak"

Posted at 8:00 AM Feb 17, 2010

Looking for a minajay
By Nicki Escudero

Wow, it's hard not to feel dirty when listening to "Lil' Freak," by Usher and Nicki Minaj. The song, with a hypnotic, Middle Eastern beat, isn't shy about its message--Usher wants a threesome, so be his little freak and go on and grab a girl.

While the track is downright catchy, it's evident Usher is pretty selfish when it comes to rounding up ladies to please him. In the first verse, he tells a lady that she's obviously "too fine to be single" (because all single ladies are hags, you know), but even if the girl is attached, that's not going to stop him from having his "minajay" with her and another lady he graciously lets her pick out from the bar.

Who cares if the girl isn't into hooking up with other girls? If you want to hook up with Usher, he makes it clear that it's a requirement to bring another lady friend around.

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(Not-So) Hot Lady Track of the Week: New Boyz and Ray J's "Tie Me Down"

Posted at 8:00 AM Feb 10, 2010

Thumbnail image for newboyz.jpg
Would you want to be tied to them anyway?

By Nicki Escudero

Just in time for Valentine's Day, the youngn's of hip-hop duo New Boyz have a love jam message for all the girls they might be involved with: "You ain't gon' tie me down."

That's right. Just because you may be going to all of their shows, and just because you might think you're in a relationship, that doesn't mean anything. I mean, there are hundreds of girls out there willing to give it up for the New Boyz...why would you expect anything more than a casual hook-up?

After all, these guys are in their sexual prime, making it OK to get wit' as many ladies as possible.

The chorus is delivered courtesy of the lovable Ray J, who, not surprisingly, has to resort to being on horrible reality television shows to find true love. He sings, "I think you need to close yo' mouth" to the girl who wants his commitment, making the thought of being a contestant on one of his shows a very scary thought.

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(Not-So) Hot Lady Track of the Week- Trey Songz featuring Fabolous' "Say Aah"

Posted at 8:00 AM Feb 03, 2010

By Nicki Escudero
If I take my shirt off, will you let me take you home?

There just aren't enough songs about getting tipsy in the club then taking it to the bedroom. Wait...

The latest installment in that classy category is "Say Aah," a track by Trey Songz featuring Fabolous.

From the song, we learn it's a girl's birfday, and the singers are intent on getting her drunk. They know she's thirsty, so they tell her to "say aah" so that they can pour alcohol down her throat...before taking her to the condo and "beating her body like a congo." I've seen people beat congos many a-time, and I bruise easily. No, thanks.

Trey also justifies taking home a girl with a boyfriend because her boyfriend is "on that bullshit pimpin'." So, no, don't break up with the loser before you get busy with someone else--just hook up with the guy on the side while you're still attached to the cheater.

Besides the skeezy come-on's, some of the other lyrics in the song don't make a whole lot of sense. Trey sings, "We don't buy no drinks at the bar. We pop champagne 'cause we got that dough." Um, so does that mean you smuggle bottles of champagne in your baggy jeans instead of paying $5 for beer? Whatever floats your boat.

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Hot Lady Track of the Week: Alicia Keys and Beyonce's "Put It in a Love Song"

Posted at 8:00 AM Jan 27, 2010

By Nicki Escudero

I've never really been a huge Alicia Keys fan, but I can't help but love this track from the R&B singer who seems to be everywhere these days.

On "Put It in a Love Song," Keys teams up with Beyonce, the wife of her "Empire State of Mind" collaborator, Jay-Z. Both Keys and Beyonce sound great on the track, with Keys showing a funky, poppy side that hasn't been featured in many of her singles.

The song is all about getting a man to treat you right, as the duo sing that they're worth lots of love and affection, including having their guys write love songs for them. Rumor has it, Keys is engaged to Swizz Beats, and surely he and Jay would have no trouble penning some sweet tracks for the ladies. Doesn't sound like so much to ask.

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