New York Times, I love you. I know I'm hating today, but I do. I buy you on weekends. I am shocked when I meet people who don't read you. But sometimes, you are a little too big for your britches. Like this weekend, when you declared the glass comedy ceiling all but broken in a profile of SNL's Kristen Wiig:
But over the last year -- when Ms. Fey and others may have finally
stiletto-stomped the masculine surprise at the notion of a funny woman
-- Ms. Wiig has emerged as a comic standout.
Until chick comedy nights are more than a marketing scheme for comedy clubs (why can't we just call them "Friday" or "Saturday?") and people stop telling girl comics that their "tits get in the way" (true story, ask me sometime) and people stop writing phrases like "stiletto-stomped" in otherwise respectable articles about women, the "masculine surprise" isn't going anywhere.
But hey, how about some actual good news? Last fall, SNL had its best quarter in eight years thanks in no small part, I'm guessing, to the Fey-Palin phenomenon. Sadly, there doesn't appear to be much hope for a Fey return, even if the Fake Gay News blog would like it to be so.
Okay, I'm a thousand years late on this, but I just saw the Shawn Johnson (gymnast, adorable, gold medal, etc.) Ortega taco commercial, and it's so ridonk. Since Chicks Aren't Funny is all about funniness and chicks, I figure this works since Johnson is so not funny in this Ortega taco commercial. I mean, somebody knew a "taco pop" joke was totally gross, right? Shame on the creep who came up with her line.
And muchas rocking to the creep who came up with the remix:
What makes your tacos pop, readers? My secret: chile con limon.
Maybe it's because I just got back from the gym, but the funny girl news is feeling a bit thin today. Lucky us, though, we always have Tina Fey scoop to fall back on.
Indeed, Fey was compelled to bring her Sarah Palin impression back from the election '08 grave after being implored by her super-boss, NBC exec Jeff Zucker, to whip out the pencil skirt for the Democratic caucus, who voted earlier this month to expand tax credits to shows like Fey's 30 Rock. Yeah, so you missed it, and I missed it, and everyone missed it. But did we really miss it? I don't think so. I'm ready for Fey to rock something different.
Ohh, I know what's different! Lesbians! You guys like the segue I did just then? Sure you did. Seriously funny ladies-in-love Portia de Rossi and Ellen Degeneres were pap-smeared (OOOOH!) in People today. The mag featured a shot of the couple walking arm-in-arm whilst de Rossi sports an "I love my wife" t-shirt.
And in honor of those who, like de Rossi, appear to like an occassional stick-it when The Man is involved, I'm happy to link you to a George Carlin remembrance post on Jezebel today. Carlin was funny, and here, he's sticking up for the chicks in "pro-life is anti-women":
Looking for "the next" anyone or anything is usually an insult both to the original and the supposedly fantastic replacement. This is especially dangerous in showbiz, where everyone is a beautiful and unique snowflake, even if I still can't tell the difference between Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba. So I'm not gonna say stand-up comedian, Flight of the Conchords star and Daily Show contributor Kristen Schaal is the next hot brunette funny female of note, 'cause I think this world has room for plenty of them.
Comedy fans who also like alcohol (can it be?) take note: Schaal is featured in New York this week with some quirky holiday party ideas. Says Schaal: "My favorite drink, Maker's Mark and ginger, will be served in souvenir Mason jars." Noms!
Only nine tips long, the New York feature doesn't have a lot of room for Schaal's comedic lungs to breathe, but what is there sounds like it'd be part of the best holiday party ever: bandanas worn for games of Mafia, jangly toy instruments and the best party favor ever! Kristen, you may have won "Best Alternative Comedian" at the Aspen Comedy Festival, but I want to go to your party for the felines. And your sheep impression:
In Performing Marginality, one of the only existing books about female stand-up comedians--well, until mine comes out, hello agents!--academic and author Joanne Gilbert identifies a few basic types of "marginal" characters that female stand-up comedians play. There's the bitch, the bawd, the kid, the reporter, the whiner. I never can decide whether Paula Deen is a bitch or a bawd.
Yeah, the butter-wielding, home-cookin Paula Deen. I'm saying this woman is a stand-up comic. She stands up when she cooks and she tells jokes, too, often to a live audience. Somebody get her on HBO.
How do I love Paula Deen? Let me count the ways: she's saucy, she's spicy, and she reminds me in the best ways of my own mom. Although I'm not really sure I want my mom making sex jokes on television, like Paula was doing on the Iron Chef that aired last night (that also featured Tina Fey! Obligatory CAF Tina Fey reference!) Watch the genius at work:
Sometime soon I'm just going to start calling my Monday girl-comedy column "Tina Fey Update, Other Stuff." Reading the news, you'd think she was the only funny gal in this U.S. and A. And she may be, especially if this month's Vanity Fair cover has any say. It features Fey in pompous American regalia, sexy but not aggressive. I'm not sure we're ready for our funny women to be sexually aggressive as well as funny. Pick your poison, as they say.
Anyhoo, the VF article is by Maureen Dowd, which can go one of two ways: Maureen lets Tina tell the story and we get some new insight into "A New American Sweetheart!" or Maureen Dowd tells a story about Maureen Dowd and we just have to be thankful for Annie Leibovitz's photo talent. In any case, the big story has broken: in the article, Fey's husband tells the world about the source of his wife's signature cheek scar. Seems some asshole stranger walked right up to a 5-year-old Fey, playing in her front yard, and cut her. WTF? Also, sidenote: those sexy stems are apparently the result of a Weight Watchers kick during Fey's SNL days, before which her husband describes her as "Rubenesque." I ask you, television, is nothing good enough?
It's not exactly a simple question, but it sure is fun to just write on one line like that so that it looks especially profound. I got to thinking about the question of subjective humor late one night this weekend while watching an AFV reel of folks getting the shit scared out of them.
I can't think of anything in this world I find funnier than people getting their pants startled right off. Honestly, just thinking about the prospect of scaring someone like that starts a rolling wave of giggles inside me that's close to impossible to quell. In fact, it happened last week at the doctor's office. I'd been stuck in a tiny, cell-like patient waiting room for nearly an hour when it occurred to me that it would be absolutely hilarious to turn off the lights, hide behind the exam table, and jump out at the doctor when he finally came in. I laughed myself into one of the worst coughing fits I'd had yet--the precise symptom that had put me in the office to begin with. I wish I'd had the guts to pull it off. Then again, the doctor is the man with the codeine, and you don't want to make him upset.
Which leads me to an extension of my first question: what's funny to persons of your particular gender/transgender/nongender? At first glance, I wouldn't necessarily think of my obsession with scare-humor to be very girly at all, in fact, I'd expect more men to find it funny. Which prompted the question: are girls supposed to find anything funny? In media traditionally directed toward women, like fashion magazines and The View and soap operas, where are the jokes, and what are they about?
I'm thinking out loud-ish and completely generalizing here, of course, but it seems to me that jokes and humor directed at women are often about relationships or men (see chick flicks e.g. Bride Wars, those awful top 10 lists in Cosmo, We network programming.) Whereas jokes and humor directed at men are often about relationships, or women, or anything else in the known universe (see Role Models, the entirety of Maxim magazine, Comedy Central programming.) Gendered humor for women is way beyond negatively defined, it's completely marginalized.
And so, ladies and gentlemen out there, I ask you: what's funny to you?
SNL is running out of ladies, and for a show that hasn't exactly been known for its gender parity, that's bad, bad news. They've been dropping like "I'm taking a new step in my career" flies for a while now, from Anna Gasteyer to Maya Rudolph to Rachel Dratch. Then, Amy Poehler left the show a few weeks ago after the birth of her first child, leaving Kristin Wiig as the lone female full cast member. The replacement? Not one but two hot brunettes!
A survey of the media twitter finds us abuzz with speculation and information about Abby Elliott and Michaela Watkins. Elliott is part of a long-standing comedy dynasty and member of the Upright Citizen's Brigade! And Watkins! She's! She's! Some girl! From somewhere!
There'snoshortage of notable notes about Elliott, whereas Watkins comes merely from Groundlings roots. Le sigh. Sketch is quickly becoming the comedic outlet for funny, pretty, skinny white women.
In the interest of biting the stingy effing hand that feeds us, there are a number of problems with this particular cast expansion. First off, these are two white women who look physically similar, which means they're likely to be in competition for roles even if their talents differ. Secondly, they're white women--whither our Michelle Obama for the next four years? More blackface, SNL? Ugh. Thirdly, if SNL is going to compete in a diverse world of avant-garde, alternative and multicultural comedy, it's going to have to hire some brown people. The potential beauty of the SNL format is that the sketches come from the actors themselves; incorporating cultural perspectives other than "white" (in particular, white and male) could stir up a long-stagnant show.
We can all mourn Tina Fey's shelving of her spot-on Sarah Palin impression and wonder about how to squeeze any comedy juice out of a president everybody will love for at least the next couple of years before we renounce all that crazy change BS we used to believe in and call for Guantanamo II: Habeas Corpus Boogaloo. Or we can shift our focus from political satire to media satire, where the joke fodder will be rich and plentiful, if Maureen Dowd's latest column is any indication.
In "The Tracks of Our Tears," Dowd attempts what I think she thinks is a joke, or at least kind of a weird cutesy attempt at pseudo-humor couched in commentary about race and politics, wrapped up with a big bow of condescension. Gawker is freaked out, I am freaked out. You will soon be freaked out.
The tear tracks in question, supposedly "ours," are in fact "theirs," or, more specifically, black people's. Instead of actually commenting on what race in this election might mean, Dowd cites a few examples of white people talking (!) to black people (!) about what they think about Barack Obama. 'Cause Maureen Dowd is all about the thoughts of black people, specifically those of her "cute black mailman" (awkward romantic comedy gaffe involving a Bluetooth headset, check!) and other miscellaneous black folk--a waiter, a bartender, a UPS guy, honestly, Maureen!? Not only is it now okay to talk to those black folk and kid around with them, but you can talk to the blue collar ones, too!
Of course, by "you" I actually mean really, you, not Maureen, because her "black friends" are Gwen Ifill, whom she will soon be telephoning to ask about what black people think. No, that ain't my joke. It's Dowd's:
"But is it time now for whites to stop polling blacks on their feelings?
I’ll have to call my friend Gwen Ifill tomorrow and ask her how she feels about that."
Tomorrow at this time, I'll be on my third to fourth beer, watching election returns. And as the evening progresses, to answer your question, Bonnie, depending on how things are going I'll either be preparing to lull myself to an early disappointed, drunken slumber with Bill Hicks' Arizona Bay, or watching Tina Fey's greatest Sarah Palin hits with the knowledge that she won't have four more years of material coming. Comedy is my escape, in both high times and low. Today's Chicks Aren't Funny is no different, especially in light of the fact that I cannot seem to turn off cable news for the life of me.
First up, it's not a funny chick but it is about chicks, at least partly, and it will be funny, and it'll allow me to bring up an important issue about which nothing is funny. Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno Movie is still filming, and yesterday the movie folk released footage of Cohen at an anti-gay "Yes to Proposition 8" rally in California:
Now, I'm not entirely sure what's going on there except that SBC and crew got ushered away in a huff, but that ain't the important part. California readers planning to vote tomorrow, I implore you: it would make this doll proud if you'd vote NO to Prop. 8 if you haven't already. If you've been living under a rock, that's the anti-gay marriage amendment. (Floridians and Arizonans have similar opportunities!)
Second, Tina Fey continues to be the comedy hero of the moment, possibly the year: NBC insiders say that Fey and McCain were teh awkward during the candidate's appearance on SNL last week. Awkward? Really? You don't say.
Let me just ask you straight up: do you watch Chelsea Lately?
Good news if you do: E! has renewed the comedian's late-night gabfest. Move along. Celebrate. Drink your Grey Goose and make fun of little people and we won't bother you any longer.
Here's my deal: I don't think Chelsea Handler's show is very funny. In the interest of full disclosure, I haven't read her book or seen any any of her live stand-up. But I don't think Chelsea Lately is anything close to funny. I think it's a caricature of everything bad about late night. I think it's probably supposed to be that way, but that doesn't make it any funnier.
Her relationship with Chuy is schlocky and borderline offensive. The opening monologues are a joke in a bad way. The fact that she's got to have four other guests commenting on the day's events shows just how dangerous the show's producers know it would be to let her ramble on solo.
And yet, as an aspiring amateur comedian myself, I feel like a massive asshole for thinking these things. Shouldn't us girls support each other when we're trying to make it in a male-dominated world? The question makes me think of an argument for Sarah Palin: she may not be what we want, but she's a woman running for VP of the United States, and she deserves our respect. Or does she?
Must we take the first thing that comes along just because it's come along? If we don't support the perhaps undeserving gender-barrier breakers, how will anyone truly funny follow them?
Interestingly enough, the female comedians who are all about supporting any other female comedian are usually the crappy ones. And I may or may not be one of the crappy ones, but I don't think I ought to feel obligated to support someone I don't think is funny just because I do believe that women in general should be better respected in the comedy world. Problem is, I think people see Chelsea Lately and think all female comedians are like her. Regardless of how good Handler's stand-up act is, the late-night show is the main gateway into the Handler universe for people who don't follow stand-up comedy. It's as if Handler's doing a disservice to female comics by being terrible at something none of us even have the opportunity to do yet. She's cutting us off before we even get a chance to speed up.
I'm sure someone out there can make a convincing argument as to why I'm an asshat. Let's hear it.
A cute girl, a Jewish grandmother and a black guy walk into a bar.
You know where I'm going with this? Yes, you do! It's a Sarah Silverman joke! Actually, it's all of Sarah Silverman's jokes, but who's keeping track? I've never been able to figure out why Silverman isn't a more divisive figure among comics; she's been on the same schtick for years and having the best part in The Aristocrats can only take you so far.
But if you're going to beat a dead, cute horse, you may as well do it in the name of Barack Obama. Which is precisely what Silverman's doing in conjunction with The Great Schlep. Topic: the 2008 presidential election. Premise: Retired Jews in Florida need to vote for Obama. Punchline: Go to Florida and tell your Nana just how much like Obama she really is!
Silverman's made a video that you can watch over and over again on that flight from Wherever, USA, to Florida, and it's chock full of really great talking points you can use to win your Jewish grandparents over for Obama.
No doubt, women as funny and talented as Tina Fey have come through the comedy world before; but they did not have characters as powerful as you, Sarah, to use as springboards. Thanks to you, Tina Fey's strengths not only as a comedian, but as a writer and cultural commentator, have been made plain to a nation full of women who need someone other than, well, women like you, Sarah, to look up to.
That said, there really is nothing like watching Betty White call you a crazy bitch on the Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson ('bout 4:40 into the below video.) Thanks for bringing two of America's funniest women together.
Last week, Sandra Bernhard got into a teensy, tiny ruckus involving her speculation as to what might happen if Sarah Palin were to go to, say, New York City, and, say, be forced to engage in sexual intercourse with more than one African-American male. Or, to put it in that down home Associated Press vernacular:
"Bernhard made the remarks last month during her one-woman show in Washington before Palin visited New York to campaign. Bernhard said Palin would be "gang-raped by my big black brothers" ...
The problem was not so much what she said, but the fact that she'd been booked for an upcoming headlining charity gig for a Boston women's shelter. Bernhard was fired from the gig. Understandably, the shelter folks don't think gang-rape jokes will go over too well with their audience.
'Cept Bernhard told the Huffington Post that she never even said "gang-rape" in the first place.
"So what I said, only funnier, was 'are you willing to have the experience of getting raped and then keeping your child?' Only I said it much funnier, and more fluidly. I never once said gang rape. Actually I never said rape. Of course what I said was outrageous, it's insane, and I'm completely unapologetic about it."
Why someone hasn't come out with a video of the original performance to set the record straight either way, I don't know. There are certainly a fair amount of right-wing Bernhard haters clogging up the YouTubes with videos taken out of context, but none of them appear to have caught the actual statement in question. To which I say: it doesn't matter.
Why? Because I think we can all agree that any women's shelter who thought it prudent to book Bernhard probably hasn't heard, oh, any of her stand-up material, ever and therefore probably should have bailed, gang-rape joke or not. Bernhard's a powerful feminist, but I don't see her Hicksian rants pairing well with a nice Chianti and white people writing big checks.
There is a question here that no one's asking, and it's far more significant than telling a rape joke before heading into a women's shelter. Maybe the real issue is that Bernhard made a joke about Sarah Palin being raped by black men. It forces a visual that would make many a straight-laced American cringe: our lovely, virginal, right-wing hockey mom being violated by angry, primitive, sex-obsessed negroes.
What Bernhard's statement draws out isn't a conversation about violence against women; it is about the latent White American fear of black men raping white women. The right wing media (and I'm prepared to argue that it's the Fox Newsers out there who are stirring this steaming pile) are really only worried about this violence against this women, and therefore alluding not only to the idea that Sarah Palin stands for all that is good (white) but that we must protect the poor thing from evil (ideals that are non-white or women who are not "normative," such as, oh, I don't know, foul-mouthed, vaguely queer Jewish female stand-up comedians?) Am I prepared to say that this is all being perpetuated to draw attention to the fact that our precious Palin is running against an ahemm black man? I would never say something like that.
I can't get enough of Tina Fey as Sarah Palin; we may be witnessing the greatest impersonation of modern time. Which means, sadly enough, that a lot of people are going to be lead to believe (and are leading themselves to believe) that impersonating Sarah Palin is easy or funny. Prepare yourselves for the coming wave of Palinpressions that are swiftly sweeping the country, sure to culminate in a most Palintastic Halloween.
I've culled a few notable Palin imitations from the delicious video-belly of the 'Net, YouTube. Let's start with the best of the best: Fey on SNL last Saturday, accompanied by the straightest of straightwomen, Amy Poehler, as Katie Couric:
And then, the rest. First up, a 7-year-old girl with pigtails and a keen ear:
New York Times, I love you. I know I'm hating today, but I do. I buy you on weekends. I am shocked when I meet people who don't read you. But sometimes, you are a little too big for your britches. Like this weekend, when you declared the glass comedy ceiling all but broken in a profile of SNL's Kristen Wiig:
SNL is running out of ladies, and for a show that hasn't exactly been known for its gender parity, that's bad, bad news. They've been dropping like "I'm taking a new step in my career" flies for a while now, from Anna Gasteyer to Maya Rudolph to Rachel Dratch. Then, Amy Poehler left the show a few weeks ago after the birth of her first child, leaving Kristin Wiig as the lone female full cast member. The replacement? Not one but two hot brunettes!
We can all mourn 
Let me just ask you straight up: do you watch Chelsea Lately?