April 15 is nigh upon us, and here's hoping you've already filed your taxes for the year. If not, get on it. But not before pouring yourself a nice, simple Stinger to get you through the process. We first posted this video last year, but I think it bears re-sharing. Tax season is tough, and the Stinger is the 1040-EZ of drinks, as I note in this year-old installment of my Classy Cocktails video series, which features fellow Doll Susan Quesal in a cameo at the very end and was directed by Austin, Texas comic Bob Khosravi. I'll make a new one someday, I promise:
Science says you should probably get her a bottle of something tall and alcoholic, because educated, professional women drink more than almost any other group of women, per Delia Lloyd in PoliticsDaily:
The study, released on Friday by the University of Lancaster, looked at female alcohol consumption in two European countries known for their excessive drinking -- the U.K. and Denmark. Researchers found that while there has been an apparent decline in young women's binge drinking in both countries since 2000, more hidden forms of drinking have increased, including more frequent drinking, home drinking and wine drinking into middle age. They also found that the higher the household income, the higher the alcohol consumption among women.
But thankfully, instead of running into an oh-noes-the-ladies-aren't-being-ladylike-panic, the article instead couches the new drinking stats in terms of class. Holy not treating women like children, Batman!
I've certainly made no secret on this blog of my affinity for a cocktail or twenty--and like any good lush, I mask functional alcoholism under the guise of being a "cocktail enthusiast." So I'm proud to bring you the latest in a series of silly videos called "Classy Cocktails with the Girl On Top" that I've been producing with Austin comedian Bob Khosravi over the past year. (Yasee, "Girl On Top" was the name of the column I used to write ages ago, and the name kind of stuck.) I know you're shocked to find out that a couple of unemployed wannabe comedians produce mediocre comedy videos about alcohol.
This edition of Classy Cocktails features a special version of the rather well known income tax cocktail ... kinda ... sorta. Alright, just have a gander--after you've made sure Uncle Sam's cashola is in the mail.
Earlier this morning I told you about the riveting Zappos map, wherein real-time shoe purchases from the Internet retailer pop up over a Google map. Heels, trainers and wedges, oh my! But leave it up to you glorious Dolls to overshadow my own plebe nature with pure brilliance: Doll Susan of movie review blog No-Promises.com suggested via Twitter that there might be a drinking game to be developed 'round the Zappos map.
Dear Dolls, I put everything on hold and got on this immediately. So while we may have to wait all year long to rock State of the Union and World Series drinking games, the Heartless Doll Get Shoe-Faced Drinking Game is a live event you can slam shots to any time at all. And since the world of shoes is at least as diverse as the world of booze, be prepared for a serious mixed-liquor hangover after you win--or lose--this game.
What you'll need: red wine, domestic beer, import beer and a lightweight liquor (think Goldschlagger, Tuaca) and, of course, a computer screen.
For too long, America--I'm thinking Vegas--has been the home of tacky marketing ploys that involve women taking their clothes off. Lighters, shot glasses, if somebody can figure out how to get a girl topless with a shake or a flick, she'll be on some souvenir, tits a-blazing. Not to be outdone, two drinky Australians with a dream have created a beer called Skinny Blonde whose label reveals a naked lady once you've drunk it all.
And they do mean drunk it all:
Ms Lee said that the beer, which has an alcohol content of 5.2%, was equally
as popular among men and women - men for the bikini factor and women for the
taste and that it was a 'healthy' beer.
... "We wanted to make a beer that you can have several of rather than ales which
you have one or two then you move on," Mr Rosser, who has a degree in
chemical engineering, said.
What I like: not making any bones about wanting people to binge on your beer. What I don't like: naked chicks on my beer. Also, who in the world is being kidded into drinking "healthy" beer? The stuff kills you. There's no good way to destroy your liver, and only people who have come to terms with it should be binging on naked lady beer. Me and my liver talked this over years ago, so I feel qualified to comment.
Although it's an interesting way to sell a low-carb wuss beer to men. I mean, when's the last time you saw a man drinking Bud Select? To be fair, you have to have lost all your tastebuds in the war to be able to stomach the stuff, but still. But all you've gotta do is slap a naked lady on your "healthy" beer, and suddenly it's manly.
Don't get excited, Westerners. There's no distro deal in the UK or US just yet.
The Heartless Dolls are Andrea, Kathleen, Kiala, Merritt, Nicki and a hifalutin array of notable guest contributors from around the web. We dig pop culture and ladythings.
