Top 10 Mistakes Women Make In Relationships

Posted at 5:00 AM Apr 26, 2010

By Andrea Grimes

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Relationships are hard, amiright, ladies? It's difficult to get a man. And then it's hard to keep a man. It's nearly impossible to get one to marry you. And then after that, you have to convince him to have kids with you. After that, he has to have his arm-twisted not to leave you for a woman half his age.

But ladies, if you simply refrain from committing these 10 classic relationship mistakes, you'll be on your way to forever-love bliss!

10. Talking about feelings.

The quickest way to get a guy out the door is to start yammering about your problems. Especially problems that have to do with reasons why you think you're unhappy with your current relationship. Men hate talking about their own feelings, so what makes you think they want to talk about yours?

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9. Improper grooming.

Quick! What's the name of your waxer? If you don't have this information memorized, or at least programmed into your phone on speed dial, it's no wonder you're single. Body hair--pubic in particular--grosses men out, so you should do your best to keep yours to a minimum.
 

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8. Menstruating.

Ladies, your monthly cycle is just gross. However, for some women, having one is unavoidable. If possible, get your guy to download the Code Red app for iPhone (you are dating a guy with an iPhone, right? If not, why are you dating a broke ass scrub?) so he can plan for the monthly terror.

7. Having a career.

Nothing kills a boner like the knowledge that women aspire to work outside the home. It's fine if you want to be a nurse or a teacher or something for a little while, but once you're committed to a guy, it is imperative you shut those dreams down. Guys need to feel like they're the man of the house, and that means relinquishing your own ambitions so that he can feel secure. Otherwise, he will probably leave you, and you'll never be truly happy.

6. Headaches.

"Oh honey, not tonight, I have a headache!" It's the oldest excuse in the book, and it's a one-way ticket to singledom. Be ready, willing and enthusiastic any time your man wants to have sex on demand. Not doing this will result in having your face eaten by your cat when you get old because no one will find your lonely, abandoned body for weeks.

Comments

Catherine said:

It was about no.7 that I started thinking "wait a second, something isn't right here" Very good, you had me folled for a minute there :-D

SheffieldSteel said:

I think you've pretty much nailed it, though I'm not sure about the last one...

Kris said:

Really, Catherine? The first three didn't clue you in? The very first one even?

Courtney said:

is it sad/good that I knew (thought this HAD to be) a joke after the first one?

Ruth said:

*looks at fuzzy legs which haven't been shaved in 4 years* Oh dear.

Lucky me I've got a man whose response is "ooh, fun & pettable." :)

Paul said:

I am saddened to see that burning the pot roast, not making me a sandwich, and refusing to promptly fetch the scotch are all not on the list. But given that a woman is writing the list, I suppose such follies are to be expected.

Sean said:

Also, don't fuck up the coffee.

pbwriter said:

*slow golf clap of ultimate approval*

Absolutely YES to all of these things. Heaven forfend that a woman might actually expect to be treated as an actual person. Clutch the pearls!

Great list. All true...unfortunately for us.

Anonimo Magnifica said:

Ha ha, I think we read (and got pissed off by) the same Yahoo Shine article! Dead on.

David Allen said:

OK, I'm slow. You had me going for the first two, but then I realized my Sarcasm Detector needed banging on the table to get it working again. I think it's the batteries, and I don't have the 36 D cells handy at the moment (Note to self: Must buy one of those newer SDs that runs on rainbows and lollipops.

Not Guilty said:

Ya the title gave it away to me. But I absolutely enjoyed reading about everything that I am doing wrong. Well I guess my problems is that I'm going to live my life as I please and if a guy should come along who fits, super, otherwise, stick it. Clearly the wrong way to do things. C'est la vie!

Samantha said:

Hi
my boyfriend is really unhappy with me because I will not sleep with him and have sex straight away.
before I met him, I have waited two and a half years to commit to someone (it's very hard for me to find the right person in a crazy city like New York)
anyway he says he feels we are just friends and not more than that and I suspect he wants to break up with me since he can easily find a woman that will have sex with him at the first few encounters.
He's tired of waiting for me and I really don't know what to do.

SheffieldSteel said:

Samantha, if his ideal woman is "a woman that will have sex with him at the first few encounters" then you're not his ideal woman.

I think you *do* know what to do, if you trust yourself.

Jay said:

I was like, finally, somebody gets it, and then I find out it was some woman who wrote the article as a joke. Shouldn't you be in the kitchen???

Jay said:

na im kiddin ya, haha, my wife is the greatest!!!!!!!!!!

Catherine said:

Kris: Yeah, but 7 is a cooler number :-D

Goodperson said:

Samantha, if he really loves you he will wait until you are ready. Otherwise he just wants to use you.

joejoeyjo said:

I completely agree!!!!!!

Hahahahaa. Guys see through the money grubbingness of all women! That's why when women turn 30 they are screwed!!!!!! Men would rather put up with a hot 24 year old that wants to drive a Lexus, travel, and have a big house--then put up with a fat aging 30 year old that wants to drive a lexus, travel, and have a big house.

Anonymous said:

fuck this bullshit

Sean W said:

Actually, making him wait forever is definitely the way to lose him. It's not about "he should wait if he loves you," more like "do it if it feels right."

I'm living in China right now, and they all preach being traditional, when in fact I think most girls here are much more open about being able to have sex.

I've dated many girls here (not by my own choice, but by the fact that in my search for my soulmate I've had to go through a lot of them), and most of them are okay with having sex very soon (but maybe it's also because they're afraid of losing a foreigner if they don't. Foreigners here are seen in two ways: the first is a bastion of light that can elevate their social status, especially if they can have a mixed child. The second is that they're unstable and only looking to have sex.)

I hate both of those theories, because I genuinely am at an age where I'm ready to get married (24, haha). Anyways, the point is that you should never force a girl to have sex, but in my mind, physical intimacy is how you build a strong bond with the other person.

Kelsie said:

Many lols! You had me going for the first couple, I admit. I got to 8 and went "Waitaminute" and then by 7 I went "Oooooooh-kay now I feel dumb." Shocking really because I'm such a sarcastic person, usually.

Some Guy said:

OK, I'll admit, through the first and second one, I thought to myself "wow, this is terrible advice."

It "clicked" on the third one. Absolutely hilarious, and sadly, based on some guys I've known or do know, this would probably be gospel.

Nonetheless, hilarious!

Anon said:

Samantha - the question you should perhaps ask yourself is "Why don't I want to sleep with him?"

It's a serious concern - do you not trust him, for example?
If it's him that is the problem, then losing him should not be a problem. If the problem is with you, then perhaps you should take the time to figure out what your own issues are and resolve them.

A great guy will walk away. All this "if he loves you, he'll wait" talk is nonsense. If he loves you, making him wait will infuriate and depress him. He will wonder what he is doing wrong and question himself. Ultimately, he's likely to leave, rather than put up with the suffering.

k m said:

i agree with all of these, thanks author

Arthur said:

You're welcome

ESTHER said:

wasting Time waiting for Mr. right better to go for Mr gooddddddd.............very interesting and true because as T goes by you try to get used to the traits of Mr good and you never konow he might become the Mr good in the process. Always remember the power is the ladies' hands galz!!!!!!!!!!!


loved it.

Urban Safety Solutions said:

Women, if your current boyfriend is controlling, insecure and abusive, just say good-bye and run!...he won't change no matter how many times he says he's sorry!

expt said:

This is a nice half-real half-sarcastic article, though these things are mistakes if the woman overdoes all of them. And they really are not much of factors in landing a woman for me.

You might think this is real stupid, but the number one mistake women make in finding a relationship is not being available to begin with and thinking that all loner guys are pervs. I was a good looking, nice guy but in my 20s, I simply could not get around women...you ask how that could be? Easy...it's called having to work a real crappy job (actually several crappy jobs) that is too demanding for the poverty-level low pay your boss gives you AND having to live in a society that doesn't socialize...especially for single men. Add going to class for college to this, and there really is no time for talking to women, much less a relationship. Maybe this is why a number of formerly straight men I've seen in like situations to mine in the past--end up gay... At the very least, "modern society" is completely FAILING people today...and it's going to get a lot worse as the middle class disappears in the USA.

wame said:

what fuck is wrong with us men and woman!...gash just hook up n fuck and leave each other if you don't like it....protect yoselves though. haiya yai!!

Xp said:

Hey dis is a great article except for number 7.dont you think its the other way around???in recent societies,men do not like women that are clingy and demanding.they want women who are independent and can stand on their own.as a matter of fact it turns them on.

Xp said:

Hey dis is a great article except for number 7.dont you think its the other way around???in recent societies,men do not like women that are clingy and demanding.they want women who are independent and can stand on their own.as a matter of fact it turns them on.

Xp said:

Hey this is a great article except for number 7.dont you think itz the other way around???most guys in recent times do not want girls who are clingy and demanding.they want ladies who are independent and can stand on their own.as a matter of fact,it turns them on.

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