Posted at 5:00 AM Apr 26, 2010
By Andrea Grimes
Relationships are hard, amiright, ladies? It's difficult to get a man. And then it's hard to keep a man. It's nearly impossible to get one to marry you. And then after that, you have to convince him to have kids with you. After that, he has to have his arm-twisted not to leave you for a woman half his age.
But ladies, if you simply refrain from committing these 10 classic relationship mistakes, you'll be on your way to forever-love bliss!
10. Talking about feelings.
The quickest way to get a guy out the door is to start yammering about your problems. Especially problems that have to do with reasons why you think you're unhappy with your current relationship. Men hate talking about their own feelings, so what makes you think they want to talk about yours?
9. Improper grooming.
Quick! What's the name of your waxer? If you don't have this information memorized, or at least programmed into your phone on speed dial, it's no wonder you're single. Body hair--pubic in particular--grosses men out, so you should do your best to keep yours to a minimum.
Ladies, your monthly cycle is just gross. However, for some women, having one is unavoidable. If possible, get your guy to download the Code Red app for iPhone (you are dating a guy with an iPhone, right? If not, why are you dating a broke ass scrub?) so he can plan for the monthly terror.
7. Having a career.
Nothing kills a boner like the knowledge that women aspire to work outside the home. It's fine if you want to be a nurse or a teacher or something for a little while, but once you're committed to a guy, it is imperative you shut those dreams down. Guys need to feel like they're the man of the house, and that means relinquishing your own ambitions so that he can feel secure. Otherwise, he will probably leave you, and you'll never be truly happy.
"Oh honey, not tonight, I have a headache!" It's the oldest excuse in the book, and it's a one-way ticket to singledom. Be ready, willing and enthusiastic any time your man wants to have sex on demand. Not doing this will result in having your face eaten by your cat when you get old because no one will find your lonely, abandoned body for weeks.