Posted at 5:00 AM Apr 30, 2010
By Kiala Kazebee
Ah, the Boy Scouts of America. That venerable club of "packs" and "pack leaders," homophobes and pedophiles, knot tie-ers and knot tie-ees. BSA, you old dogs you, what have you come up with now in a vain attempt to distract the world from your Roman Catholic Church-like offenses? A what? A VIDEO GAME MERIT BADGE? Wait just a minute there Boy Guys of Murka, that sounds almost decent of you! What molestations, I say? I can't even think about them through this warm haze of fuzzy, feel good emotions I have towards you now due to this Video Game Merit Badge gambit! And well, one would assume where there is a Boy Boys of The Americas Video Game Badge, there is a Girl Scouts of America Video Game Badge. I mean, this just makes good science sense. So anyway, I..what? THERE IS NO GIRL SCOUTS OF AMERICA VIDEO GAME MERIT BADGE?
I am shocked. And by "shocked" I mean, of course, whatever, gah.
I did some Googling, I MEAN JOURNALISTIC RESEARCH, and could only find this lame Girl Scout-produced web site which allows girls to play games and talk about sports and makeup and stuff (ugh), but as far as I can tell, there is no merit badge for girls who like their XBox just as much as the world thinks they like their ponies.
And the badge actually sounds worthwhile, requiring the scout to:
- With your parents, create a plan to buy a video game that is right for your age group.
- Compare two game systems (for example, Microsoft Xbox, Sony PlayStation, Nintendo Wii, and so on). Explain some of the differences between the two. List good reasons to purchase or use a game system.
- Play a video game with family members in a family tournament.
- Teach an adult or a friend how to play a video game.
- List at least five tips that would help someone who was learning how to play your favorite video game.
- Play an appropriate video game with a friend for one hour.
- Play a video game that will help you practice your math, spelling or another skill that helps you in your schoolwork.
- Choose a game you might like to purchase. Compare the price for this game at three different stores. Decide which store has the best deal. In your decision, be sure to consider things like the store return policy and manufacturer's warranty.
- With an adult's supervision, install a gaming system.
I mean, yes, this isn't as sexy as earning a badge by killing a shitload of Geth, but it is incredibly practical and would go a hell of a long way towards building girls' confidence and self-esteem when it comes to the world of gaming. And these same qualities, of course, would be invaluable while navigating the treacherous waters that are middle school, high school and beyond in the same way playing sports and excelling academically are touted by the GSA as being integral to building a healthy ego for young women.
So what say you, Girl Scouts, Brownies, Bluebirds, etc? How about a Video Game Merit Badge for the ladies? I buy your goddamn cookies, so you owe me at least this much. Quid Pro Quo.