This Week in Girl Geek: New Lara Croft Action Figure in Familiar Morning Ritual Pose

Posted at 5:00 AM Apr 09, 2010

By Kiala Kazebee

BEHOLD! A new Lara Croft action figure! Kotaku is claiming this is a victory of sorts due to the focus being on her face and outfit and weapons, etc. and not her GLORIOUS BOOBS, but my (admittedly 12-year-old) mind went directly to one place when I saw the pics:

She looks like she's pooping.

Am I right? She's even got reading material-a jungle map of some sort. Now don't get me wrong-the idea of Lara Croft doing her daily doesn't upset me. In fact, the more awareness we bring to ladies' bodily needs being the same as dudes' bodily needs, the sooner we'll have less products like Activia and laxatives marketed at women. You see, females are not allowed to poop or talk about poop or think about poop, and this leads to constipation and IBS and all kinds of digestive issues, and please don't even get me started on women starving the fiber right out of their diets. 

I wonder if this will greenlight a new trend in action figures doing regular, everyday things. For example: Wonder Woman cleaning the cat box, Illyria blow drying her hair, Star Sapphire buying toilet paper. And you know, male superheroes could get in on this, too. Or they could all just be going Number Two. I really don't care. Everybody Poops: Even Superheroes coming in June from Random House! Look for it at an Urban Outfitters near you!

Anyway, what I am saying is I guess I am in favor of this new Lara Croft on the John (TM) Action Figure.


Date Slut said:

I love the idea of "Everybody Poops: Even Superheroes"! All my action figures and barbies used to do was have sex with each other.

GrrAargh said:

Ah, I'd wondered why women suffer from so much 'bloating' according to the TV, whilst men don't seem to!

The Admiral said:

Is she going to wipe her ass with that?!?

It is a nice-looking figure, though...I have two Lara Croft figures at home - a small action figure (from Underworld) and a larger non-action figure that talks (from Legend). If you push a button on her back Keeley Hawes' somewhat garbled voice comes out. Maybe my Talking Lara and my Captain Janeway doll should adventure together. Role play!

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