Sad Bastard of the Week: Father-daughter nude bonding time

Posted at 2:35 PM Apr 14, 2010

By Andrea Grimes

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It can take a lot to get motivated to start a serious work-out schedule. There's finding the money, the time, the equipment, the know-how, and, for our Sad Bastard of the Week, there's arranging it so that a 12-year-old girl can hang out and watch you pump iron stark naked.

"Confused in Illinois" writes into Annie's Mailbox this week wondering if it isn't a little creepy that her husband refuses to wear clothing while working out in front of his adolescent daughter.

Joe has never been much into exercise, but I gave him a rather expensive multifunction machine for Christmas and installed it in the family room so he could watch the big-screen TV while working out. He gave me a reluctant 10 minutes a day on his new "toy."

When he complained that his jeans were too tight, I made a note to buy him some loose workout clothes. When he continued to mutter about having "nothing to wear," I frustratingly retorted that he could exercise naked for all I cared. Before I realized it, he did just that -- on the machine in his birthday suit and gym shoes. And he exercised for another 30 minutes.

He's now using the machine, stark naked, each day for 45 minutes without any prodding, and he's lost some weight. I think part of it is that our 12-year-old daughter has begun to "coach" his sessions, counting his reps and urging him on. Annie, we're not prudes. Our daughter has seen both her parents naked and insists it doesn't bother her to watch Dad exercise in the buff. In fact, they joke about it. She started calling him a "Greek athlete." Joe does have Greek ancestry, and he now insists the Greeks had it right and has no intention of dressing.

Let's not even try to imagine the singular grossness of not wearing anything to absorb the sweat off your body while you work out naked, slinging bodily fluids hither and thither.

I think there's probably a line between being "not prudes" and being a middle-aged man whipping your floppy, sweaty dick out for 45 minutes a day while your daughter spots you on the bench press. Yes, some people are nudists, and that is totally fine and they just like being naked and have at it, folks! It's my understanding that people who dig nudism go to nudist resorts to be nude, or live a nude lifestyle in their home most of the time, and it's a family thing and they don't just seem to take particular pleasure in getting naked and flexing their muscles in front of pubescent girls and enjoying their many compliments about your fine figure. Indeed, "Confused in Illinois" is creeped out by her husband's behavior:

I'm torn. If I make him wear clothes, I worry he'll stop exercising. Is naked exercise common? Is it dangerous? Is he some sort of closet pervert? Would some busybody consider this child abuse and have him arrested?
If Mom's instinct is that something is off with this behavior--and I think the fact that she worries if he's some kind of pervert displays that she knows something weird may be happening--I'm inclined to say that this guy has a high skeevbag potential. The Annie's Mailbox ladies, however, are pretty sure it's all good as long as that dick doesn't get damaged by flying weights:

Exercising in the nude is not that uncommon and shouldn't be dangerous unless sensitive body parts are in close proximity to dropped weights or snapped pulleys. We can't tell you whether Joe is overly enjoying his daughter's assistance with his workout. We are not in favor of it and would insist he wear shorts. But nudity within one's own home is not considered child abuse or indecent exposure. If you are worried about the neighbors, keep the blinds closed.
I don't even know if the guy putting shorts on at this point would fix the sitch. I mean, he's already done something pretty seriously bizarre. Can a pair of gym boxers ever erase the memory of watching him flail around naked in front of an almost-teenager?

Dolls, is this guy a creep, or am I being too prude?


BorgQueen said:

Errr... thin line here. A girl of 12 is just starting to see/feel her body change and discover her sexual identity. Seeing her FATHER naked could very well confuse things in her mind, especially since the genitals of a man of 45 are different than those of a boy closer to her age. It seems if the mother is worried about this then the dad needs to cover up. Could a soft-cotton pair of boxer-briefs not suffice? I have no problem with nudity or nudists but everyone involved in the nudity needs to be comfortable with it and it sounds like this is not the case.

Jenny said:

No debate here. Creep.

Ruth said:

Definitely on the creepy side. I think if it's something that worries the mom then it's something she should address. She seems to feel that this doesn't quite fit in the other generally causal nudity that she and her husband have done. If both parents were full-time or often nudists at home, something like that, then it wouldn't be quite the same.

Ain't nothing wrong with a pair of gym shorts--he can go commando under them if he wants.

Paul said:

From personal experience... if he's in lousy shape, it can be difficult to work out without a lot of issues. Too loose and you'll work right out of your clothes. Too tight and... well... chafage. I may not work out nude, but I certainly see the upside.

But where I workout by myself, he's working out with his daughter. And really, you don't hang out naked around your kids. Put on some boxers and keep working out.

Anonymous said:

I've actually worked out naked, and it's pretty fun! But! Working out naked in front of your daughter when you're a middle-aged man is really inappropriate, and he needs to suit it up.

scary joann said:

I've worked out naked, and it has it's upsides. But I'm also not a father doing it in front of his daughter. I agree with BorgQueen, it's a sensitive age for a father to expose himself that regularly. It's one thing to be comfortable with your family nude, it's another to regularly watch them work out nude.

Cattleprod said:

Okay, if he was working out nude IN PRIVATE and his daughter stumbled in, unfortunate but hardly criminal. But he's doing it intentionally? If he's not a sex offender, he's got a funny way of showing it.

The Admiral said:

Christ, I've only recently started sleeping without a bra and you people are exercising nekkid? I hate being nekkid - it isn't pretty.

Anyway, on topic - I think it's uberweird that neither the father OR THE DAUGHTER has a problem with the situation. That's perturbing. Does anyone think she'd sit there for 45 minutes and watch him work out if he had clothes on? Maybe I'm just paranoid (definitely) but the whole thing seems OFF.

At least there's a moral to the those dangly bits or they'll be crushed into paste.

e.b. said:

If he started working out more once his daughter started watching then yes it's inappropriate and weird.

Saktii said:

One should remember that even though Ancient Greek men played Olympic Sports in the nude, females were banned from being spectators (much less participating).

John Morrison said:

As far as I know, the only difference between me at 45 and me at 12 was hair and a lot of it, at least there. Of course, I would hope that my daughter doesn't know about what a 12 year old boy looks like naked to begin with.

Apparently he was already working out longer when excersing nude before the daughter started whatever and exercise is always a good idea.

If you don't want your daughter there or there alone, join in the activity. If he continues to do the work-outs, then your daughter's involvement was nothing untoward. If your arrival starts the time going the other way, then something might be wrong.

Also talk with your daughter and find out why she is doing what she does. Maybe she simply wants to help her father so he lives longer.

If you start taking time to exercise with or by him, maybe he will work out even more in an attempt to turn back the sands of time. Maybe it can end up with a bit of revitalization in your relationship.

Fusacauts said:

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Fusacauts said:

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