Posted at 9:30 AM Apr 26, 2010
By Merritt Martin
Over the course of this week I found myself actually speaking aloud to my TV as if it were a living, breathing organism experiencing "my stories" right along with me. OK, wait. I do that a fair amount anyway, but this week, let's just say I was doing it a good 97.35 percent more often. It was a crazy fucking week.
So, rather than go into a great detail on my usual two or three, I'm going to quick-hit the top five and pray like hell that I wasn't alone in my exclamations of, "Are you kidding?!"s and "NO! Seriously?"
American Idol: Idol Gives Back
Ol' POTUS and FLOTUS offered the welcome address to kickstart the charity-minded fundraising episode. Everything seemed hunky-dory until just before the sign-off when Obama decided to throw out some hip lingo a la judge Randy Jackson. Would've been fine, too, had it not been for the Prez's patented debater's delivery. It was both endearing and laughable. Thank you TiVo for that skip-back button. I used it about six times...and then six more after I called the boy into the room.
The Celebrity Apprentice
Let it be known that the "Tour Bus Thrust" was hysterical during the creative phase. Also, while the clip doesn't show it, Sharon Osbourne proved she was exceptionally flexible (and I pointed and yelled as much). Also, the woman thrusting over Bret Michaels had already told him that he's one of her "celebrity five" passes approved by her husband. He handled it very well, all told.
But every time they showed him, I just kept saying, in regard to his recent brain hemorrhage, "I really want him to be OK!" Because, c'mon, Rock of Love notwithstanding, he's so fucking silly and good-natured you can't help but be won over.