Posted at 5:00 AM Apr 13, 2010
By Jill Pantozzi
It's the day we all dread. You get a friend request from your mom. Facebook seems to be the most likely outlet for this kind of horror, but it can come from anywhere-- Myspace, Twitter, FourSquare. No matter which way you look at it, it's just WRONG. Having your mom connected to you online is like having her tag along when you go to the mall with your friends. She's always peering over your shoulder to see what you're buying, butting in with news from Aunt Sally or...god forbid, trying to use hip slang.
Luckily for me, my mom is almost 95 percent computer illiterate. (Hooray!) Her office just got computers about 3 years ago, and while she can figure out how to instant message me, she always signs her IMs like a letter. "You must be in the shower. Talk to you later. Love, Mom." This doesn't mean she isn't curious though. She knows I spend about 95 percent of my life on the computer, and when she tries to ask me about Twitter, she struggles with what to say. "Are you, twittering...tweeting....tw...What are you doing?" Here's what I think my mom would tweet were she capable of signing up for Twitter.
10. @TheNerdyBird You're being followed by over 2 thousand people. This concerns me. Didn't I tell you not to talk to strangers?
9. Note to self - pick up milk on the way home from work.
8. The cat threw up on my bed again. I thought I was done cleaning up after children.
7. Extra ticket to see Johnny Mathis! Who wants to go?
6. @GreatTime69 What's a webcam?
5. @TheNerdyBird You became popular on digg? I don't know what that means but I'm so proud of you!!!! XOXOXO Let's go out for ice cream later t
4. o celebrate! My treat!! Oops, ran out of space. Why 140 characters anyway? That's really not enough time to say anything of value if you thi
3. @TheNerdyBird You want to do WHAT to Batman???
2. I forgot how to copy and paste. :(
1. Dear @TheNerdyBird, Please stop talking about your breasts on the internet. Love, Mom.