10 Things I Wish I'd Done At My Senior Prom

Posted at 5:00 AM Apr 14, 2010

By Kiala Kazebee

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This is not in any way, shape, or form an advice column for teens. Look at this list as a kind of retro-active bildungs roman or a fictional memoir of sorts. THIS IS NOT A MANUAL FOR THE UNDERAGE OF THE WORLD.

Moving on.

I was a terribly late bloomer in regards to High School Shenaniganer-y, and while I had a college boyfriend with whom I had The Sex, I did not drink or do drugs or swear or do anything which might have made my later teen years bearable. I have a lot of regret about this, if only because I hated high school, and I believe I would have done really well drinking responsibly and making out with/engaging in safe, mutually respectful sexual situations. But I did not. I read a lot of science fiction and quietly deflowered the boy of my dreams right before graduation.

I guess that counts for something.

Onward with the wishes of things I'd done at that iconic milestone of the American High School Experience. Sigh.

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10. Erik Kleist

BUT I DID HIM LATER. RIMSHOT! HEY-O!

Erik had floppy hair like the dudes in Dead Poets Society. He surfed, skateboarded, played the guitar and piano and took college level physics classes at UC Irvine. He was the only person I'd ever known besides me who had met Ray Bradbury.

OF COURSE I HAD SEX WITH HIM. I am not stupid.

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9. Binge Drink

I think binge drinking would have been awful and fun. The puking would probably have been horribly embarrassing, but the experience of being really, super-drunk at the Newport Beach Hilton and finally saying all the things I'd wanted to say to everyone at school and possibly a few valet guys? Priceless.

8. Intercourse

Yes, I had a college age boyfriend with whom I had The Sex on a semi-regular basis but, because we both worked and went to school and didn't drink or do stimulants, we fell asleep fully clothed on my bed around midnight. SNOOZE.

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7. Booty Dance

I don't know if Booty Dancing was a thing when I was in High School. I mean, we barely had the motorized horse drawn carriage or you know, fire, but if we did have a Booty Dance type thing, I didn't know about it. I think I would have liked to drop it while it was hot and maybe grind up against a teacher or two which leads me to...

6. Make My Physics Teacher Really, Really Uncomfortable

See above.

Comments

Paul said:

Man... I MISS the Hotel Del Coronado. I spent a week there once. Absolutely beautiful.

I wish I'd skipped the whole stupid prom and gone straight to the after party. Holy crap prom was dull.

Bobbyskizza said:

I wish I'd gone with someone I was mates with instead of a girl I was hoping to get off with.

CTrees said:

I went to Coronado High School. Our prom WAS IN the Hotel Del Coronado.

Unfortunately I moved away while I was still an underclassman so I didn't get to go to prom there (homecoming was on a harbor cruise, still good but not incredibly awesome), but still. So many reasons to be jealous of the rich kids/lucky military kids.

kcwc said:

We had no prom. I went to a private, religious, sex-is-sinful-because-it might-lead-to-dancing kind of school in Newport Beach. We did have a Junior/Senior banquet, which I went to with two girlfriends, and we enjoyed ourselves quite a bit. I didn't even buy a new dress.
The big dress-up event was Homecoming banquet, usually at the Balboa Pavillion, which is nice. But with no dancing, you actually have to sit around talking to teenage boys, which can become tedious.

BorgQueen said:

First, I have to get this off my chest...YOU MET RAY BRADBURY?!?!?! I hate you. Ok, better

I had 2 proms, Junior and Senior. My junior year I went with my best friend, he and I had a great dinner at a fancy-schmancy hotel, snuck into a wedding (free booze!) at said hotel, danced all night at prom and then went to a kick-ass after-party. My senior year I went with my boyfriend at the time, had a crappy night and actually did #4... to him later in the evening. I wish I could communicate to all the high-school kids out there that prom is soooo overrated but I doubt I would have listened to someone telling me that at that age!

Kiala said:

WOW.I had o idea so many of you guys lived in my teenage hood!

I feel all nostalgic for orange county now.

drunkengeebee said:

I wish I'd gone to a real school prom. The local GLBT Youth Group Drop In Center For Arts Kids that Like to Smoke had a "Gay Prom" for all the "Gay" kids. I went to that for some reason. I feel like I missed some sort of horrible bonding experience by not going to the horrible embarassing "Real Kids" prom. Oh, and this all happened in Iowa. Which still confuses me.

GasStationSushi said:

I went to 3 proms and 2 of them were for schools I'd never attended. I really wish I'd gotten thrash drunk at both of those and told my dates to go screw off.

Kiala said:

@BorgQueen

Yes I met Ray Bradbury! He was signing The Halloween Tree at the San Juan Capistrano library. He spelled my name wrong in my beat up copy of R is Rocke and then he turned the spelling error into a little pumpkin with a smiley face.

Jill aka The Nerdy Bird said:

I wish I had made out with every guy I had a crush on in high school at the prom. There were a lot.

Karilyn said:

My prom is actually in two weeks and I've already decided that a ridiculous dress with a hoop skirt and Victorian shoes are the way I'm going to the last dance of my high school career.

Any other advice that I may/may not be allowed to consider seriously?

Tasha said:

Sorry, I'm still in crazy jealousy fits over Ray Bradbury and the pumpkin.

Damon said:

Is this Eric the same one with a brother Brian?????

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