Top 10 Most Annoying People at SXSW

Posted at 5:00 AM Mar 22, 2010

By Andrea Grimes

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Finally, my swollen city is going back to normal. The annual SXSW Interactive/Film/Music festival is done with, and it's safe to go back outside again. This was my third SXSW--and by "third," I mean the third year that I have been living in Austin while it happened, not the third time I attended the thing. I have neither clout nor cash, and as a graduate student, not a lot of time, anyway. Wah, wah, wah.

The other day someone asked me if being a local was hard during SXSW, and I had to give a mixed answer. The city's infrastructure isn't equipped to handle the giant influx of people, many of whom are assholes or hipsters or both. But SXSW is also responsible for keeping Austin firmly established as an important dot on the American cultural map. And if you like free booze in the day time, well, SXSW is the place to be.

However, because the internet is for bitching (I think that was an interactive panel this year) today's list will concentrate on only the sucky parts of South By. In fact, it will call out the 10 most annoying people at SXSW.

10. The Super Networker

This person is all about synergy! And crowdsourcing! And following you on Twitter as soon as he finds out you have a Twitter account even though you are standing right there and talking to him. He will force his card on you and also the card of his buddy who he thinks can totally hook you up with that thing he thinks your company/film/band totally needs, and yo bro, are you staying at the Driskill or what, do you want to get a drink later?

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9. The Cab Stealer

The cab-seeking clusterfuck usually starts about 1:20 a.m., when people start spilling out of wherever they are and begin trying to get back to wherever they think their hotel might sort of be. Nevermind the fact that downtown Austin is relatively small and walkable, when your iPhone battery is dead and you don't know which way north is, a cab begins to be a necessity. Which is why it's so maddening to stand on the corner of Congress and Wherever for 15 minutes waving at taxis while some asshole a block down the way stumbles out of the bar and straight to the curb and grabs the cab you were destined to take home. (The situation is even worse for Austin locals: we'd love to grab a cab ride home from bars we actually go to--read: ones that are not downtown during SXSW, however every taxi in the city is circling a five-block radius between Guadalupe and Red River. At least we know how to use the buses ....)

Every batshit crazy person, clueless college student and three-sheets partier in Austin has managed to figure out how to pay their bus fare. So what is it about having a SXSW badge or wristband that makes people unable to comprehend the fare machine? Money goes in. Bus ticket comes out. The fares are posted online, at bus stops and probably somewhere in the overpriced hotel you're staying at. You put that amount of money in the machine, and then you get to ride the bus! Rocket science, it ain't. Those of us who enjoy schadenfreude get an especial kick out of New Yorkers who can't conquer the machine--maybe they'll think next time before chewing out the person who swiped their Metrocard the wrong way? Oh, who am I kidding?

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7. The Non-Stop Badge Wearer

Who knew you needed a SXSW badge to get into the HEB, 24 Hour Fitness and liquor store? I refuse to chalk this one up to forgetfulness. People who wear their badges to places other than actual SXSW events are assholes, full stop.

6. The Plus One

The Plus One knows somebody who knows somebody. They do not know the band, the developer or the filmmaker, or even the guy who works the popcorn machine or checks ID's at the door. The Plus One is there to drink free drinks and repeatedly ask what band this is again. The Plus One has a massively overinflated sense of entitlement and therefore is also likely to be ...