Posted at 5:00 AM Mar 10, 2010
By Merritt Martin
While on Monday's episode of House, the diminutive but sensitive Dr. Taub offered that privacy is a relatively modern notion--and lawdy knows I love me some House--I gotta say we should really relish a certain amount of it. Especially when it comes to Twitter and Facebook.
And absolutely, the world of social networking is an amazing thing. We can maintain communication across vast distances effortlessly. We can share important news information and we can also read casual shit--what our friends and "friends" are doing, thinking and even eating at any given time. Unfortunately, in many cases, we can also see those things as well.
Here's what we really just don't need to have seen, or see anymore. Ever.
10. The app-produced collage of your top friends
Maybe it's of the people who comment the most, or who have the most shared favorites as you. Whatever it is, it's usually badly pixilated and really irritating.
9. Your kid post-poop
I know it's great that little Chucky mastered the training toilet after 4 months of crappy pants and smeared walls, but for fuck's sake, don't ever make him pose for a photo next to it. And if you do, don't you dare post it to your news feed. STFU, Parents has my back on this.
8. Your bare feet
Sure, your S.O. thinks they're the most beautiful, perfect little tootsies they've ever suckled, but--I'm gonna level with you--they're not. Show off your new heels or your awesome sneakers, but leave the bare feet to the beach and out of a close-up.
7. Anyone vomiting
This includes anyone covered in urp, or with even the slightest trace of ralph on their person. It also includes your car after you drove your drunk-ass friend home and she puked out the window and you were pissed so you took a picture of it and tagged her. Give her credit for not puking in the car and keep the camera in its case.
6. Your chooch, boobs or ass crack
Not necessary. Most of us are familiar with gender characteristics, not to mention that we don't need an NSFW popping up unannounced. And I don't even think a partial of the nether regions is OK. Save your biz for private transactions.