Posted at 2:30 PM Mar 02, 2010
By Andrea Grimes
Nothing so bad about having a latex fetish, right? Yeah, well, imagine the living hell that would be having a latex fetish, being a teenage boy, and having your mom know all about it. And then imagine the living hell that is being that mother, saddled with the burden of trying to wrangle this particularly awkward and awful kind of kid-related TMI.
I think living hells deserve Sad Bastard of the Week status, which is why this installation features, well, a certain latex hell, and it's not even a Savage Love column!
No indeed, it's a letter to Dear Prudence, wherein a troubled mother, "Hand in Glove"--who clearly cares about her son--cannot figure out what to do with the fact that she knows about (nay, knows way too much about) her kid's glove love:
My 13-year-old son, a well-behaved, sweet boy, already has what I perceive as a strange fetish. He loves and is fascinated by latex gloves. When he was little, he would stop in front of the rubber glove display at the supermarket and just stare at the packages ofI mean, okay, that's not so bad, right? The kid just kind of likes gloves, and Mom kind of knows what it's about, but it's not like explicit or anything, and they can live in peace together, right? Wrong. Kid didn't cover his online porno tracks:
dishwashing gloves. He wanted me to buy them for him, but he would never tell me why. Now that he's older, he goes online to medical supply Web sites and "shops" for rubber gloves.
Recently, I found out he had been visiting glove fetish Web sites with pornographic glove pictures. I installed content filtering software to block him from being exposed to such images. He was horribly embarrassed and guilty, and he promised to give up gloves forever. Apparently, it's not so easy. He still asks me to buy latex gloves for him when we go to the drug store, and he keeps piles of them around his room. He worries that he might not be able to find a girlfriend or wife who will be interested in sharing his glove love. Should I try to stop him, or should I just chalk it up to a personality quirk and worry no longer?Ah, that magical moment when you realize Mom knows you're whacking it--and not just to regular ole porny porn, but to glove porn, and you just stop giving a shit and ask her repeatedly to buy more gloves for you and leave the things laying around your room and are all YEAH GLOVE FETISH, HEYOO, LOOKY HERE, MOM!
A couple of things: I don't think the kid should have promised (or been made to promise) to give up the glove love forever. Future (and current!) sexual issues, ahoy. Really, Mom should have written into Savage Love, because I think Prudie's being a bit of a prude in her response, or at least maybe overreacting: