If you bitch about people using Foursquare, you are an annoying jackass

Posted at 2:00 PM Mar 31, 2010

By Andrea Grimes

​In his essay entitled, "If You Use Foursquare, You Are An Annoying Jackass," published in the widely read media criticism journal, Gawker, Some Guy Brian Moylan argues that individuals who use the social networking app Foursquare are annoying jackasses. In his essay, Moylan attempts to use the classical theory of Being A General Curmudgeon to prove that people who enjoy something cool are in fact, annoying jackasses. While his theory is interesting, in my own work, I will review and rebut Moylan's claims in an essay entitled, "If You Bitch About People Using Foursquare, You Are An Annoying Jackass."

Allow me to situate myself, for a certain degree of academic self-reflexivity is in order if we are to expect our claims to be taken seriously. As I am presently writing this, I am seated at a table at the Hole in the Wall, an Austin rock club and dive bar favored by University of Texas graduate students, musicians and career drunks. I myself fall into the first category, as a graduate student in the university's Folklore and Public Culture anthropology program. And please allow me to be frank: I am the mayor of the Hole in the Wall on Foursquare.

Mine was a hard-won mayorship. And I think my tale of tribulation is illustrative of why all Foursquare users are not annoying jackasses, but individuals who love and care about their communities and the businesses therein. I will take an ethnographic approach to this essay, using the personal experiences of myself and others to demonstrate that Foursquare is fucking awesome.

But first, we must engage with Moylan's dubious claims, which are that Foursquare is not fucking awesome and is, in fact, annoying. Moylan takes exception to Foursquare's key feature, which is the awarding of badges and Mayorships for multiple check-ins, that is to say, the frequent utilization of the application. Moylan:

Users get absolutely nothing for being the Mayor or having badges, so the only consolation they get is to prove some sort of crazy self-worth by collecting little electronic pieces of fabric that tell them they're cool. Foursquare honcho Dennis Crowley says that in the future, the mayor of a certain location might get a coupon or a discount. Sorry, but if you go to a bar or restaurant often enough for the staff and managers to recognize you, then you are a "regular" and that privilege is as old as public houses and one that often comes with freebies. The lovely gentleman at the coffee shop I go to every morning sometimes gives me a free cup just for the hell of it, and neither of us needed some silly internet game to tell us to do it.

Please allow me to update Moylan's research: at least as of several weeks ago, Mayors were actually being rewarded for their patronization of certain venues with freebies and general good will. My colleague Joe Faina, a Ph.D. candidate in the University of Texas Department of Communications, writes extensively about this phenomenon in an article entitled, "I Became The Mayor Of The Local Taco Joint And Now They Give Me Free Tacos," published on the social networking aggregate journal, Twitter. Whereas Moylan asserts that being a mayor is no different from being a regular at any given venue, I disagree: depending on the cultural capital amassed by a particular user, local businesses benefit from the publicity garnered when said users check in to certain locations and broadcast their locations on Twitter and Facebook. In turn, users demonstrate their person-about-townness, solidifying their identities as reliable and respected members of their respective communities.

Further, Moylan asserts that Foursquare users are in some way lazy or sedentary, advising them that a better use of their time and energy would be to play a video game rather than physically traveling to various venues in different towns and socializing with their friends and neighbors. I believe the contradiction in his statement is evident and needs no further commentary apart from quoting this asinine bullshit:

The competitions for mayorhood and other badges have already become tedious. According to the Wall Street Journal, patrons of the Buttermilk Bar in Brooklyn are pissed because the bartender is the mayor. It's official, I never want to visit the Buttermilk. They also tell the tale of a young woman who's dying to be the mayor of her coffeeshop. Listen, lady. If meaningless electronic competitions mean that much to you, buy yourself a Wii and unlock a bunch of surprises playing tennis or something. You can get all the approval you need and maybe even burn off some of those venti soy half-caf lattes you've been sucking down hoping to earn your imaginary trophy.

I think my own Foursquare Mayoral competition will be pertinent in demonstrating why Foursquare's affective impact on its users and their friends is positive, rather than lame. Late in 2009, I became the Mayor of the Hole in the Wall, as a regular patron fond of pitchers of beer and the bar's excellent jukebox. I maintained this Mayorship as one of the bar's most dedicated regulars throughout the winter, until 2 months ago, when I was informed electronically that a "Blaze F." had ousted me as Mayor. I was confused and intrigued: who could this Blaze F. be?

After some investigation, I determined that Blaze F. was no genuine Foursquare user, but an impersonator. Specifically, an impersonator of Austin rock and roll legend Blaze Foley, who was shot dead in 1989. Blaze Foley could not have a Foursquare account, because Blaze Foley was dead.

But my friends and neighbors rallied around me. We doggedly attended the bar and its myriad functions, adamant that the rightful Mayor should return--or that another, living person, should at least enter into competition rather than a Mayoral Impersonator. But Blaze F. was wily. Blaze F. began checking in every day, an act that could not be accounted for by either me or any member of the bar staff. I knew in my heart I was the rightful Mayor.

During SXSW, fate smiled upon this usurped Mayor. My aforementioned colleague, Joe Faina, met a Foursquare developer at the Austin, Texas airport and obtained his contact information. Less than 3 weeks and three e-mails to Tim of Foursquare later, I was informed by a Chrysanthe of Foursquare that impersonators would be dealt with mercilessly--and that check-ins would become more closely regulated.

Yesterday, I again became the Mayor of Hole in the Wall. My constituents rejoiced. Indeed, my constituents are shortly about to join me here at the Hole for my victory party. Between the upcoming party and the many, many nights of campaigning since Blaze F.'s wrongful appropriation of my Mayorship, the Hole in the Wall benefited financially from our many alcoholic and food purchases. But moreover, I benefited personally from knowing that my real-world friends would stand by me in a time of online crisis. Hardly an alienating medium, Foursquare in fact helped me realize how satisfying and meaningful my offline life could be. But the pleasures of Foursquare do not stop there.

In addition to a complete misunderstanding of the ways in which Foursquare can be applicable and beneficial in offline life, Moylan clearly has no idea how the application actually works. In fact, he employs the kinds of scare tactics favored by this country's political conservatives with regard to forward-thinking technology: fear it, lest you put yourself in mortal danger.

The more immediate danger is having people find you in real time. If you check in at a bar in Manhattan on a Saturday night, how quickly before that killjoy friend you're trying to avoid, your annoying coworker with the beer tears, and your ex with a bone to pick all show up for a meeting/confrontation. Based on the Venn diagram of concentric social circles New Yorkers run in, it will be impossible to hide. This mass stampede of new visitors could ruin a venue. If everyone figures out where certain key cool partiers are hanging out or where noted foodies are going to eat, the hidden gems will be overrun with the Foursquare-using rabble in no time, turning what used to be your favorite spot into something akin to a bachelorette party in the Meatpacking.

These complaints are easily resolved: Foursquare statii can only be seen by those an individual deems "friends" on the applications, and one need not broadcast one's Foursquare location on either Twitter of Facebook if one desires not to do so. All one needs to do is to be choosy about one's Foursquare friends and careful about one's social networking overshare, and the coworkers and ex-lovers will have no occasion to intrude. Further, Moylan demonstrates his laziness in reviewing the available literature on nightlife, and would benefit from reading any recent article in the journal People Who Want to Go to Exclusive Night Clubs Are Fucking Stupid So Fuck Them, Anyway. Moylan goes on to claim that Foursquare is additionally lame because celebrities have not yet appropriated it. To this end, I suggest Moylan endeavor to read an article entitled Who The Fuck Cares, oft cited by notable academics who don't measure the worth of their activities in terms of whether or not celebrities also engage in them.

In sum: Foursquare is an engaging and positively affective social networking application that brings joy to its users, so eat a dick Brian Moylan.