10 Reasons I Worship Kelly Cutrone

Posted at 5:00 AM Mar 17, 2010

By Kiala Kazebee

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I feel like I should immediately qualify the title of this post with a "I realize she values some stupid things and also supports an industry which contributes to the cult of beauty which is admittedly terrible for women," but other than that small problem, I totally respect Kelly Cutrone.

For those of you who don't live and breathe reality TV the way I do (totally bragging here, btw), Kelly Cutrone is the CEO and owner of People's Revolution, a fashion PR company based in New York and Los Angeles. She's been a sort of no-nonsense, harsh and scary shadow figure on other reality shows, including The Hills and The City, but with Bravo's Kell on Earth, she steps into the spotlight AND INTO MY HEART.

In the spirit of La Cutrone, we'll cut to the chase and countdown the 10 bestest reasons to gather ye rosebuds while ye may and scatter ye petals in Kelly's wake. I don't really know where I was going with that sentence but, whatever, let's get to the business of worshiping!

10. The Caftan Outfits

God. These are just GLORIOUS. Kell on Earth was filmed during the sweltering hot late summer months in New York and yet there Kelly is, in scene after scene, wearing a giant tent thing and a balaclava all made by Prada or whomever. Mad props, Cutrone. Mad props.

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9. Her Baby Daddy (Ilario Calvo)

This dude is some serious man candy-which, by the way, is a word I rarely use except when drunk or on the internet, apparently. Anyway, I love Kelly's non-traditional, sometime relationship with this beautiful European man. I am, however, slightly skeptical of Kelly's insistence on proclaiming the non-commital-ness of it as "fine" with her. She looks a wee bit fragile and misty eyed when speaking his name and/or laying eyes on him. Then again, I am probably projecting here.

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8. She's The Anti-Madonna

Having just watched Madonna on NBC's The Marriage Ref, I was struck by how not crazy and smart and funny she was. I KNOW. It confuddled me too. She's a straight shooter when she wants to be, that Madonna, and I can't help but see her as the sexually confused version of Kelly. When I say "sexually confused," I guess I mean she clearly has issues with her body image and how she is viewed sexually. Ms. Cutrone, on the other hand, seems to run pretty far in the opposite direction in terms of body image. See the caftans listed above for further clarification.

7. The Nannymaid

I've only seen the Nannymaid once so far this season, but in that episode, she was wearing a Forever21 dress that I, myself, have in my closet, and for this reason and this reason alone, I love the Nannymaid and the woman who employs her--a woman who so clearly makes fistfuls of cash but is stingy like my grandmother when it comes to sharing the wealth. Represent, Miser Cutrone!

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6. I Want Her To Be My Life Coach

Kelly has "written" a book (she hired a ghost writer) entitled If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You and while I have yet to read it, I just know it's chock full of sage wisdom and power to the ladies quotes. Or not. I don't know. I just want people to cower at the sight of me and let me tell them how to do things without said people laughing at me and pooh poohing my ideas. I have high hopes this book will help with that.