Posted at 5:00 AM Feb 23, 2010
By Tolly Moseley
I have a very love/hate relationship with social media. On the one hand, it makes my blog possible, helps me stay in touch with estranged friends from high school, and it makes networking a total breeze. On the other hand, it makes me want to kill myself.
I can no longer focus on anything. I feel guilty for not participating in Follow Friday (#FF) on Twitter. I don't like having to keep questionable Facebook friend hopefuls in Friend Request Purgatory. I feel insecure when I don't get enough blog comments. Pressured to outdo myself when I get too many. IT'S MAKING MY BRAIN HURT.
It's also making me super-scattered. See, I can be all upset with social media for the reasons listed above, and then someone will RT something I said on Twitter and I'm all, Hooray! People care about the things I am saying! Sweet self-worth, I can feel you returning! That's when I'm back in the love camp.
Over the past few weeks, I've been trying really hard to figure out why social media scares me so much, despite the fleeting joy a RT or a blog comment provides. Here are 10 reasons why.
10. Because I can't do a damn thing any more without Twittering about it.
And I am sure as hell not alone on this one. The old truism about Twitter used to be, "no one cares if you're eating a sandwich! Har har!" So to test that little theory, I entered "sandwich" into a search just now on Twitter. And I came up with 20 Twitter sandwich updates. Updates that happened IN THE LAST 2 MINUTES.
9. Because neither can any of my friends.
If we're out at a bar, and I see one of them whip out their
8. Because I learn things I didn't want to learn about people on Facebook.
Hey look! It's Liz Rubenstein from high school! Liz got married...that's great...she looks cute in her pictures...oh. Wait. Hold up now. Liz is a fan of Flava Flave? Liz was a contestant on Flavor of Love? LIZ WAS THE ONE WHO POOPED ON THE STAIRCASE IN THAT ONE FLAVOR OF LOVE EPISODE? Oh. God.
This is somewhat akin to whispering "sorry!" to Cap'n Crunch in the grocery aisle as you reach for Fiber One instead. When I start expressing real emotions for websites, implicitly ascribing real emotions for THEM, like they were in fact a person and not a jumble of HTML code, I start feeling funny. Not funny haha. Funny Brave New World.
|This is the new Friendster logo. For real. What?|
6. Because the pressure to be an awesome blog commenter is intense.
You probably know this already, but Gawker, one of my favorite sites, screens comments and only lets the best, sharpest, most devlishly witty ones go through. Which has scared me into silence. Oh, I've got things to say all right. I have so much to say! But the words shall never pass my lips--er, typing finger--because I don't want to be shamed out of the Gawker comment section.