Sexytime giveaway! Win an OhMiBod vibrator from HD and Eden Fantasys

Posted at 10:30 AM Feb 01, 2010

By Andrea Grimes

Look at our sexy couple! You might look like this if you win.
The right sexytime music can take makin' love to a whole new level--and since I know our Heartless Doll readers love their gadgetry as much as they love their lovin', I figured a vibrator that schhooozzzzzzes along with your favorite tunes is the way to go for our first-ever giveaway with Eden Fantasys, adult toys superstore. (Their related online mag, SexIs, is also a great source of sexy info.)

But we can't just toss off this awesome OhMiBod Freestyle Music Vibrator to any ole' doll. We need to make sure you need it. That you want it. That you want it inside ... oh, okay, you saw that coming, didn't you?

If you want to win this musically stimulating vibratey goodness (and dudes 'n Dolls, this thing is like expensive and fancy), leave a comment on this post with your most awesome, sexy, mortifying or badass vibrator story. We'll pick a winner before Valentine's Day.

To get you started, I'll tell you a vibrator story of my own, after the jump. (Stop reading here, Mom, my students, potential employers).

Once upon a time, my first college boyfriend and I discovered sex together, as soon as I realized that Jesus was not going to come cut my tits off if I had an orgasm. Said boyfriend was a sweetheart to end all sweethearts, and the very definition of GGG. And so we special ordered a Hello Kitty vibrator from Japan, because it was cute and whatever, I really wanted it. (This was before you could easily get these adorbs items online, which you can do, BTW, at Eden.) And life was good.

And Hello Kitty did verily bzzzzzzz away, until I left for a study abroad adventure, leaving College Boyfriend in the metaphorical dust, along with a box of random items that had accumulated at his apartment over the course of our relationship--including Hello Kitty, who I didn't trust getting through security. Weeks later, in a moment of supreme asshattery, I dumped College Boyfriend on a trans-Atlantic phone call and generally treated him poorly for the next few months. But then I returned to New York, and my dorm, and life within his proximity. We arranged to meet up for coffee. At the last minute, he backed out. I didn't blame him. But I did want all my stuff back--the stuff I'd left at his house before leaving for a foreign country. And so one day, a big box arrived at my dorm.

What did College Boyfriend ship back to me? My guitar. Some school papers. A half-used stick of deodorant. What didn't come back to me? My Hello Kitty vibrator. WHERE ARE YOU HELLO KITTY VIBRATOR? Only one man on this earth knows for sure.

So please, Dolls, leave your best (or worst!) vibrator story in the comments--and be sure to use your real e-mail address so that we can get in touch with you. A winner will be selected just before Valentine's Day, and you will be sweatin' and moanin' to the oldies (or the hip-hop, or the indie rock, or what have you) in no time.


CharmmyKitty said:

Back before airport security was such a hairball, I used to bring my vibrator on trips in my carry-on luggage. Don't ask me why, I knew even at the time that I was just asking for trouble, but it was in my radical-not-shaving-legs feminist phase and I was smoking a lot of weed. It was a heavy-duty piece of equipment: vibrated, had veins, and the curved tip rotated vigorously. So one time, in the middle of a flight, I'm rummaging for chapstick in my bag and the vibrator flops out and turns itself on. And since the tip rotated, it quickly got away from me and started going donka-donka-donka right down the aisle toward the bathrooms. I almost didn't go after it, but the thought of the stewardess actually RETURNING it to me in front of everyone was somehow more embarrassing than having to retrieve it on my hands and knees.

I think the only thing more embarrassing than writing this is the fact that my boss just looked over my shoulder and said, "What are you working on?"

To which I had no answer.

Jill aka The Nerdy Bird said:

I just snorted from laughter already and this was only the first entry. I can't wait to hear more. Neither can the males on the interweb.

Jill aka The Nerdy Bird said:

I just snorted from laughter already and this was only the first entry. I can't wait to hear more. Neither can the males on the interweb.

BorgQueen said:

7 years ago, staying the night at a friend's house (aka, too drunk to drive home) after a party. She puts me in her guest room with a warm, cozy blanket and a big, soft pillow. REM ensues. Couple hours later I (kinda) wake up in the middle of receiving what is the most amazing neck massage ever. It takes me a couple of minutes of lying there in bliss to realize the pillow I was sleeping on was the same pillow in which my friend stores her vibrator... yeah, it had accidentally turned on and made the whole pillow vibrate. I received a neck massage from my friend's vibrator. We were close enough to joke about it the next day, at which time she assured me she cleaned it after each use. The sad thing is, to this day that was probably the best neck massage I have ever gotten!

Merritt said:

Already, this post and the comments have made me laugh so hard I'm basically crying. Love. It.

DuckytheBandia said:

Once upon a time, I had the hots for this girl and me and her were staying at a friend of ours house. He had a very curious puppy.... in my bag was my favorite purple friend. The girl apparently found it and had it out...she says she dropped it on the floor. The dog ate it. ATE IT. Ate all of it except the machiney bits. Then she put the remains BACK IN MY BAG and doesn't tell me about it. Later on, I am rummaging through my bag and lo and behold, there is a thoroughly nawed purple friend with most of it missing. I'm curious..I look around for pieces... I ask her finally. She tells me oh the dog ate it. Just like that lol. So the dog doesn't eat home-work. It eats home-play. :)

Susan said:

I know that as a doll, I'm not allowed to enter the contest. THAT HAVING BEEN SAID, sharing!!

My first vibrator was a gift from my friend Sean who was always flabbergasted that I didn't wack off and thought maybe I could avoid the terrible meaningless stupid relationships I had with men I didn't really like all that much if I could get myself off. (Turns out, it sort of worked for a while and then stopped working, but that's another story for another giveaway.) So when Sean moved to SF he went to a nice, lady-run, happy-feminist sex toy shop and got me the Lady Luster, a toy I still highly recommend. It came in the mail, and then it sat in my nightstand for weeks where I would look at it and get nervous and not use it. UNTIL ONE FATEFUL NIGHT when I cut it out of its blister packaging, put batteries in it, and turned that sucker on. It was like an amazing orgasm button. Immediately after I came, in the throws of the post-orgasm affection I used to waste on stupid men I was dating that I didn't like, I called Sean and left him what is maybe my favorite voicemail message of all time: "SEAN. BEST. PRESENT. EVER." The Luster and I have been intimately involved ever since.

This giveaway is awesome.

L said:

Ok, I have never owned a vibrator or known anyone who admitted to owning one (I'm 21, I guess I'm a little behind in the vibrator experience?) but I just wanted to say that these are the funniest stories ever.

Sean said:

Susan just told my best story.

Michelle said:

A few years ago, my now fiance had brought his yorkie over to play with my yorkie. Being single at the time and living alone, I often left my personal toys out in a basket by my bed and had forgotten to stash it away before he came over. After leaving him alone in my room, I come back to him holding my vibrator in his hand, and proclaiming that "Champ (his dog) loves this massager" as he is rubbing it up and down his back. At the moment I wasn't sure whether to be mortified or to laugh, but I definitely have to say that I will never forget the shocked look on his face when I had to politely ask him to stop massaging his dog with my vibrator.

Aristo said:

For my 20th birthday two of my close friends from out of town came to visit. They're a couple that have been together for a long time, and have a reputation for being strange, wonderful, and open-minded people. So I'm not surprised that their birthday present to me was a little pink vibrator, because "they knew I'd been stressed with schoolwork lately."

So later on that evening, the boyfriend is playing on the computer by himself and I tease the girlfriend, "Let's go into my room and test out my new vibrator!"

Her reply? "I brought mine, too!"

And then her boyfriend chimes in: "Me too!"

The best part is that none of us are liars. :)

Rivka said:

Just this past Christmas, my boyfriend and I were staying over his parents house for the holidays. Such is the layout of their home that the dining room has a high ceiling, so while at the table you can look up and see the second floor hallway, or, while in the second floor hallway, you can lean against the railing and talk with the downstairs people. Did I describe that right? Anyways, I was sitting around the table shooting the breeze with the parents; Obama this, weather that, yes the drive was nice. Boyfriend was in the upstairs bathroom, unpacking. I heard a dull thud, and then the sound of something rolling, rolling. And what do you think rolled across the bathroom tiles, out the door, into the hallway, and through the railing to land on the table directly below?

Coincidentally, since my vibrating friend's fall was broken by the dining room table, it is now broken. Could this be fate?

Missy said:

I had one of those eggs , and attached to it was a pink silicone bunny. His ears vibrated so nicely , he was my best friend lol ! Ok not really but he was pretty fun to have around.
My boys (4 and 5 at the time I think) found it in my drawer , and brought it out to show my company how it "danced" when they turned it on .... more than once !

One day when I went to find my little friend , he wasn't in my drawer. When I asked the boys about it , they said they broke it by accident and hid it in the garbage. So my little friend had an untimely demise and I miss him so :(

I have seen the eggs in the shops , but never a pink bunny attachment like that one !

Jessie said:

My story is one of those mortifying moments that turned into a badass story. Way back when, I was working part time in a store, so it was a pretty laid back atmosphere. Around Valentines Day, my boss started talking about a toy store that normally only does mail order but opens its doors once a year for shoppers. Naturally, I was alarmed at the direction this conversation was headed and trying to prepare myself for what she would say next. She told me about loving Coochie Creme and her favorite vibrator, which she then pulled out of her purse!

This thing put any "magic bullet" I've had to shame, although I do just fine. Without trying it I can't be sure these fancy vibes are worth the money!

Let me say, I am enjoying reading all your stories as well as perusing the Eden website.

Aimee said:

My first girlfriend and I were meeting up in a hotel room in Chicago (out of state for me). I had my best friend and her boyfriend drive me in, drop me at the hotel, then drive home so my mom would see my car in town and not ask questions. The next day, when they came to pick me up, she and I had JUST finished out last round of wild hotel sex. Best friend and Boyfriend come in to hastily thrown on clothes, TWO extremely torn up beds and, lo and behold, my silver vibrator sitting next to a 20 oz sprite bottle and putting the bottle to shame. Boyfriend sits on the edge of the bed, eyeballing said vibrator, and finally grins and declares that I AM, in fact, hung like a horse, and that he hopes my girlfriend isn't walking funny for too long after having had "Quicksilver" used on her. The vibrator is still called quicksilver to this day.

Anonymous for this said:

Hmm, my most embarrassing vibrator story was actually this Christmas. My sister approached me a few days before and asked for help making up some BS Christmas present. She told me that what she had she couldn't give me in front of the family. I went along with it and she gave me an IOU for a girl's night out.

Anyway, we had her and her girlfriend for dinner the week after Christmas and she brought my present. The two of them couldn't stop laughing. Turns out that she'd bought my a rubber duckie vibrator from Big Teaze Toys. Looks just like a small yellow rubber duckie only with magic qualities. I'm so glad she didn't give it to me in front of my parents.

Turns out she got it because a) I have a rubber duckie and have had for years, despite being an adult and b) Garfunkel and Oast's song "Sex with Ducks."

It's actually a fantastic toy, very intense and my husband loves to add it to playtime. But it was probably the most embarrassing gift I've ever received and had the potential to be a million times worse if it'd been given at Christmas.

Michelle W. said:

Most embarrassing vibrator story happened several years ago while my ex-partner and I were living with her family. We had renovated their basement into an apartment, and I had moved in there after we had been together for a year and some change. She owned the cutest quaker parrot who had an awesome vocabulary. I found out just how awesome. I'm downstairs in our living room area talking with my then mother-in-law and we got the bird to talking to us. Suddenly he starts making this repeating growling noise. We both get really confused trying to figure out what it is. Suddenly I get beet red when he starts adding other sound effects into the mix, in mine and my partner's voices. I hastily laugh loudly and make some comment about noisy washing machines and then distract the bird with other things he likes to say. I still don't know if my ex's mom ever bought the story, but that's what I'm sticking to!

Diana G said:

It’s beginning of summer break, and after an emotastic semester of long distance, my then b/f and I are reuniting. He drives up to Iowa City in my parents’ van (because neither of us has a car) to pick me up. Now, ex b/f had expressed an interest in pegging, and being the GGG lady I am, I was like, “cool, let’s do this.” So before we get on the road, we go to Ruby’s Pearl (Iowa City’s now defunct feminist sex shop. Sad face.), and buy the necessary toys--a harness and a "dil," as the cute dyke who sold it to us so adorably abbreviated. We're real psyched about the new toys, so we open them as soon as we get in the car, and later we stop at a hotel somewhere in Illinois to try 'em out. (Sidebar: Not that great. He's not as into pegging as he thought. However, the dil has a little for-her-pleasure clit vibe at the base, so I had an all right time. Anyway.) The day after arriving to my 'rents house, my mother calls me into her room. She holds up the sex toy packaging, which features a MERMAID with her BOOBIES all hanging out holding up a dildo, and says, “Dad found this in the car.” (DAD!) WTF?? Apparently, ex b/f and I are so blinded by college romance that we’ve forgotten to dispose of the evidence! I lie, and tell my mom a friend has bought me a vibrator. I figure masturbation is less offensive to her than the thought of her only daughter doing some dude's 19-year-old butt. But here’s where I become a genius! I TURN THE CONVERSATION AROUND. I’m like, “Mom, you shouldn’t be so sexually repressed. Everybody masturbates! You should too!” And my mom gets all flustered and Southern and is like, “Well, I…I know that. That’s fine. It’s good you’re in touch with your body.” And then I leave her room, triumphant. So, my worst sex toy story is actually my best as well. I can only hope that Mom went out and bought her own sex toy after the confrontation.

PinkBird said:

My girlfriend and I were trying out a new mini vibrator. Cute purple turtle-shaped thing. It was nice and strong, and girlfriend was feeling happy. Things were progressing, she was moaning and panting – "It's so hot". I'm all pleased, yay for good sex! She had to repeat it a couple of times till I realized she meant the vibrator had overheated. It turned out we had melted the plastic with our hot lovin'. Or rather, with the wrong choice of batteries. Bye bye cute purple turtle.

Girlydoll said:

When my husband and I were still dating I had an impressive sized pink dong that I used to play with which became our third in the threesome of two (if you catch my meaning) and "the morning after" I was dutifully cleaning my toy. I set it on the shelf above the toilet to air dry and forgot about it.

Later that morning my landlord was showing my apartment (I was moving out) and I scampered around to tidy up and make the place all presentable.

So during the tour, I was following them around and then he showed off the bathroom, and right there at eye level is my hot pink veiny dong in all its glory. Everyone noticed that we noticed it all at the same time - awkward silence and then quickly retreated from the bathroom. I spent the rest of "the tour" hiding in my bedroom.

As they were leaving I got up to show them out and the landlord said with a creepy smile that I should have cleaned up better. I was glad to leave that place after that.

Shel said:

I don't qualify, because I don't have a sex toy story but just wanted to say thanks for sharing and making me laugh! Very funny, and very brave to share.

Effin said:

I'm not sure if this is embarrassing but in any case ... I lovvvveee my magic wand - she is currently my primary partner (c= ... I had a stressful day and came home to prep it for use (she sleeps with me at night so was already in bed) ... well M Dub (my magic wand) and I begin going at it and I felt this weird sensation on my leg ... then my stomach ... it began to hurt (not painful but uncomfy) ... but I was persistent ... upon completion (sorry if this is overshare lol) I finally realize ... the copper wires creeping out ... my cat (possibly in a jealous/envious rage) chewed into M Dub! I was shocking myself lol ... Maybe what's embarrassing about this is ... I still use it ... I guess I should invest in another ... or at least some electrical tape *shrugs*

theholyfx said:

I got a vibrator from my great grandmother as a Christmas gift at church....

Well let me explain a bit more, This was my freshman year in high school, i was on the football team and it was the off season and we were doing a pretty heavy load of weight lifting after school and it just so happens that the day before Christmas break i had to stop by her house to help her move a few things around. While i was there i must have said something about how my arms were sore from the weight lifting. So now fast forward to Christmas at my small rural country church, every year my great grandmother would get all of us great grand kids a small gift and put under the Christmas tree at church. Guess what my grandmother got me to help with my soreness... A 12 inch personal massager. Yep, my 89 year old great grandmother gave her great grandson a 12 inch dildo shaped vibrator.

hamiltonbrown said:

Awesome! The rabbit vibrator can be also used for solo purpose and also as couples together so these are the best sex toys for all.

shortybynate said:

I bought a blue, Wildfire rabbit vibrator that doesn't look like a vibrator at all. At the end of my freshman year in college, a couple of my close male friends came over to unbunk my beds for me. After they finished we, sat and chat while they did the basic rummaging and one of them found my little blue rabbit thrown into my desk drawer. He picked it up and asked, "What IS this thing? I want to play with it..." I snatched it and told him not to touch things if he didn't know what they were, but he persistently asked me what it was. When I told him it was a 'toy' my other friend started laughing hysterically but the guy who held it was still puzzled! I was so embarrassed but kind of relieved to know that he really couldn't tell what it was.

The crazy part about it is that this isn't his first time finding it. There have been several times where he'd be mindlessly toying with it (but somehow never turning the vibration on) I usually just take it from him and ignore his questions!

nicole aring said:

i need to win this bacuase no man has evermade me cum off dick alone i always need to use a vibrator ever since they took half of my cervex i have to have one and lately i cnt seem to find one that can keep up with me

Nicole Ryan said:

The most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me is this. I was in my senior year of high school and (like an idiot) kept my vibrator in my purse. I had set my purse on the floor and sat down. When I dropped my purse, something rubbed up against my vibrator and turned it on. My teacher noticed that something in my purse was vibrating. He told me in front of the class to take my phone out and give it to him (he thought my phone was vibrating). I told him that I did not have a cell phone, so he took my bag and said, "Then what is this?" as he pulled out my vibrator. He turned it off and put it back into my purse and called my mother. It was aweful.

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