Topless Robot

Heidi or John? The nutbag celebrity quote match game!

Posted at 3:22 PM Feb 11, 2010

By Andrea Grimes
heidius.jpg
​By now, you may have heard that John Mayer, and by some degree of extension, his dick, is a racist and, well, a dick. In a recent interview with Playboy, Mayer was dropping n-bombs and talking about his sex life with Jessica Simpson, whom he called his "sexual napalm." Oferchrissakes.

Broadsheet has a fantastic response from La Toya Tooles:

... it's your joke that you have a "Benetton heart and a David Duke" dick that I want to address now. See, I don't begrudge you your sexual preferences; it's your right to screw as many cheerleaders as you want. What bothers me is that you're not the only guy who feels or acts this way. Sometimes, when I stand in a room of white men, I feel unfeminine and unsexual, no matter the strappy heels, the makeup, the dress. I know there are white men out there who find black women attractive, but you, John Mayer -- the guy down enough to be on"Chappelle's Show," the guy so sensitive he writes love songs -- now represent the ones who don't. Maybe you should think a little bit about that.
Tooles goes on to talk about the shame (sexual and otherwise) she's come to feel as a black woman in a society ruled by white men. It's poignant and worth reading and, well, nothing I'm going to write here would compare.

But I also got to talking with friends about other celebrities whose verbal diarrhea is similarly legendary, and Heidi Montag came up.

Can you tell which of these quotes is a Mayer, and which is a Montag? Answers after the jump.

1. "I hate being the heartbreaker. Hate it."
2. "There have probably been days when I saw 300 vaginas before I got out of bed."
3. "I plan to win an Oscar. I'm very ambitious."
4. "I used to be so strong, I used to be able to do whatever I want, and then I feel like I've been broken down little by little."
5. "I'll spend four hours not even putting anything into motion, just believing somehow it's going to come my way."
6. [on breast implants] "I do love it and I appreciate the science behind it. How incredible... we [are] blessed to even have this."

Answers!

1. Mayer
2. Mayer
3. Montag
4. Montag
5. Mayer
6. Montag

How'd you do?

Comments

Adri said:

I really don't understand how this guy gets laid. He's not attractive, constantly spews verbal diarrhea, and IMHO isn't ridiculously talented. HOW DOES HE GET THESE WOMEN?!?!?

Posted 02/11/2010 at 04:58:25 PM
Meg said:

He croons for the poon.
--------------------------
(i.e., sappy 'love me' lyrics)

Posted 02/16/2010 at 01:21:44 PM
games said:

Fabulous set and really creative and would compliment my house well. Know of any showrooms in NY?

Posted 04/25/2010 at 09:35:06 PM
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