Posted at 9:04 AM Feb 09, 2010
By Andrea Grimes
If you don't want to read the whole wordy mess, let me summarize in advance: there was once a time when ALL WOMEN EVERYWHERE never had premarital sex and only wanted to have marriage and then babies with upstanding men, AND IT WAS AWESOME AND DEFINITELY ACTUALLY HAPPENED. But then
Now, let's break it down.
First off, the lede is based on a blog entry that appeared on (feminist blog! Quelle horreur!) Lemondrop, wherein an enterprising college student named Courtney fucks renowned King Of Douchebags Tucker Max because, basically, she thinks it would be funny. And lo, it is. The guy's a tool, she's got a great story to tell and got a write-up on an incredibly popular blog.
However, The Weekly Standard (hereafter: TWS) somehow pegs this as the basis for their entire fright-night story on the "New Paleolithic," a sex culture wherein women are too stupid, slutty and powerless to resist the invariably nefarious sexual desires of men who basically just have to show up in order to get them into the sack. Except this Courtney-Tucker story is in no way an example of this "New Paleolithic" (maybe because it doesn't exist? SHHH). Nevermind the fact that Courtney screwed Max for shits and giggles and basically actively seduced him (not that he needs it, as he's admitted basically to, you know, fucking anything that shows up). Silly details. Trust us, TWS is going to go all-out to try and make this thing work:
Welcome to the New Paleolithic, where tens of thousands of years of human mating practices have swirled into oblivion like shampoo down the shower drain and Cro-Magnons once again drag women by the hair into their caves--and the women love every minute of it. Louts who might as well be clad in bearskins and wielding spears trample over every nicety developed over millennia to mark out a ritual of courtship as a prelude to sex: Not just marriage (that went years ago with the sexual revolution and the mass-marketing of the birth-control pill) or formal dating (the hookup culture finished that)--but amorous preliminaries and other civilities once regarded as elementary, at least among the college-educated classes.Just so we're clear: marriage is awesome, birth control pill sucks. Dating is awesome, hooking up sucks. Institutions that oppress women are awesome, things that liberate women and give them control over their bodies suck.
It helps, of course, that there's currently a buyer's market in women who are up for just about anything with the right kind of cad, what with delayed marriage (the average age for a woman's first wedding is now 26, compared with 20 in 1960, according to the University of Virginia-based National Marriage Project's latest report); reliable contraception; and advances in antibiotics (no more worries about what used to be called venereal disease). No-fault divorce, moreover, has pushed the marriage-dissolution rate up to between 40 and 50 percent and swelled the single-female population with "cougars" in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond. On top of it all is the feminist-driven academic and journalistic culture celebrating that yesterday's "loose" women are today's "liberated" women, able to proudly "explore their sexuality" without "getting punished for their lust," as the feminist writer Naomi Wolf put it in the Guardian in December.THE SLUTS HAVE TAKEN OVER. REMEMBER WHEN IT WAS AWESOME TO SAY "VENEREAL DISEASE?" MAN, THOSE WERE THE DAYS. However, this paragraph acknowledges that some women used to have premarital sex--back, sigh, in the halcyon days of being able to demean and shame them--which is contrary to the original point of the article, which is that feminism killed chasteness and marriage, which was the only kind of sexual life that existed before feminism. Hmm? Well, let's not get caught up in the details: