10 Anthems for the Commitment-Phobic

Posted at 5:00 AM Feb 22, 2010

By Andrea Grimes

Do you back away at being asked to sign a year-long gym membership? Do you avoid leases? Are you scared of buying frozen food? Then you, friend, probably have some commitment issues. And, to be honest, we fail to see what the problem is with that. Which is why we love these 10 anthems for the commitment-phobic among us. Play it loud, play it proud. (Oh, and wrap it up--because that stuff is catching.)

10. "Hey Ya" by Outkast

Because separate's always better when there's feelings invoooooooooooooooooolved.

9. "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga

One bluffs with one's muffin because one wants to commit to nothin'.

8. "It Ain't Me, Babe" by Bob Dylan

The most honest piece of music about someone just not being able to give someone else what they need, ever. Exes who can't lay it down, can you please just recite these lyrics and let us go?

7. "Gin and Juice" by Snoop Doggy Dogg

Let's be honest. Who does love dem hoes? I out tha do.

6. "I'm A Loner, Dottie, A Rebel" by The Get Up Kids

One night doesn't mean the rest of my life. Or ... the rest of that one night. Or, longer than it takes me to finish this shot.

5. "Crush" by Jennifer Paige

Best one-hit-wonder pop song that is actually awesome EVER. Ain't no Christina-Britney mess here. Just straight-up give-me-your-royalties-and-I'm-out business.

4. "Sex Machine" by James Brown

When your sex is mechanical, can you really be expected to care about anything but oiling your own gears?

3. "I'm Leaving You (Because I Don't Love You)" by Jens Lekman

Wherein Jens says the thing that us commitment-phobes should say, but don't, for the sake of ... politeness? We don't love you. See that Snoop shit for further reference.

2. "Time For Us To Fuck" by Lil' Wayne

We can talk about your feelings, or we can GET DOWN TO BUSINESS. I only have time for one of these things.

1. "Freebird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Don't feel bad, girl. I'm just a giant asshat who needs to spread his ass-wings. Wait, I have ass-wings? Maybe that's why I can't commit.