Posted at 12:20 PM Jan 26, 2010By Andrea Grimes
|Tim Rogers, http://frontburner.dmagazine.com|
|A favorite Dallas dive, The Goat|
I don't mean a "dive" bar. I'm not talking about a cool, hip bar that looks and feels a lot like a dive bar. I mean a place where, at 26, I'm going to be the youngest person there (either in actual age or life experience) by a decade. Dives are where I feel comfortable, and where I love taking my friends for long talks and laughs.They are, truth be told, where I would spend much of my time if I had the option.
I'm also a single lady who loves to date and hang out with cute boys, and maybe have one over for a whiskey or six every once in a while. However, few of the men I've liked or dated have preferred to hang out in my kind of bar.
In fact, there's a fair discrepancy in the kinds of places and things I enjoy and the kinds of people I interact with in those places and doing those things, and the guys I end up crushing on. Is this why I'm single?
Well, surely, that's too simple. I'm single because I like to be, and because I haven't found a boy that strikes my boyfriend fancy lately. But again, whither the men? When I was talking with my fellow Doll Susan the other day (admittedly, at one of Austin, Texas' excellent non-dive bars), we determined: I don't hang out in places where guys I tend to like hang out. I'm the dive bar or beer-packed pub girl, while my boyfriends have typically been rock-show, hipster-bar dudes. I also don't tend to engage in activities that are also engaged in by guys I tend to like.
For example(s): my academic field is anthropology, and I've yet to have a crush on an anthropologist. I consider karaoke my main athletic occupation, and I'll be damned if I've met a guy down at the 'roke bar with whom I want to sing "Let's Get It On." If I'm not singing 'roke or doing my homework, I'm doing stand-up comedy, hopefully someday professionally. And well, friends, let's just say that it's best not to shit where one eats.
Which is not to say that dudes who do karaoke or comedy or anthropology are lame or ugly--I would describe many of my dude peers in those activities and fields to be great catches. I'm just not into them. I tend to be attracted to guys who like and participate in things I either have a very small significant interest in, or actually kind of don't like. (See: marijuana, photography, poetry, science, noise rock, running shoes.) So, per Seinfeld, what's the deal?
Is this some kind of buried self-loathing? That I don't want to like someone who likes what I like? Or that I crave difference? What's your experience, Dolls? Do you find that your interests and the interests of those you're interested in (say it five times fast) are vastly different?