Posted at 8:25 AM Jan 26, 2010
By Andrea Grimes
For better or worse, high-profile athletes are role models. So lucky for us ladies, when we are confused about what to do with our own bodies, we don't have to think for ourselves any more! We can just ask college football star and '07 Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow.
Or, rather, we can have Tim Tebow--and his mom, who did not abort him, praise Jesus! Thankyouthankyouthankyou, Jesus! Also, Jesus!--tell us what to do in their upcoming, much-publicized anti-choice Super Bowl commercial sponsored by right-wing Evangelical Christian coalition of misogynist, homophobic nutbags Focus on the Family. I know that "Tim Tebow's mom didn't have an abortion that one time" is maybe the best reason I can think of to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term.
"I know some people won't agree with it, but I think they can at least respect that I stand up for what I believe," Tebow said. "I've always been very convicted of it (his views on abortion) because that's the reason I'm here, because my mom was a very courageous woman. So any way that I could help, I would do it."
No, Tim Tebow, I cannot at least respect that you stand up for what you believe. Why?
Because what Tim Tebow believes is that he has a right to tell women when to reproduce. Based on the fact that his mom gave birth to him. Overblown sense of self-importance, much? Dear Tim, my respect for your rights ends at your disrespect for my rights--and my body.
I am so over this whole debate, and it hasn't even really gotten started yet. I know this Tim kid. I mean, I don't know him, but I know his type. And I have no problem generalizing about what kind of typical asshole a self-righteous, widely worshipped Jesus lovin' athlete Tim Tebow is. He's every smug jock I went to high school with. The guys who lead prayer in the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and felt superior to the world because they had Special Jesus Love, on the field and off.
After all, if Tim Tebow is not super-precious blessed by Jebus, how could he have all this athletic talent? Clearly Jesus loves Tim Tebow more than you. And by "Jesus" I mean "Tim Tebow," as in "Tim Tebow loves Tim Tebow more than you." That's why he thinks he can tell you, ladies and gentlemen, when and how to have sex and babies.
Tim Tebow loves me, this I know ...