Women we would rather see in Pride And Prejudice and Zombies

Posted at 9:20 AM Dec 11, 2009

By Andrea Grimes

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Natalie Portman is set to star in the film adaptation of a zombie-filled adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. I speak, of course, of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. According to Variety:

Given Natalie Portman's elegant demeanor, a turn in a period Jane Austen adaptation was inevitable. Portman will star in and produce "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies," a film that is based on the bestselling book written by Seth Grahame-Smith and Austen. Lionsgate will finance and distribute. Quirk Books published the tome.

Though Austen's name is on the book, Grahame-Smith took the liberty of adding bloodthirsty flesh-eating zombies to the mix.
I would be more inclined to describe Portman's demeanor as "rape apologist," but fine, I guess I'll take "elegant." (Remember kids, meat is rape!) Anyway, I was more than disappointed with Portman's lame-ass period attempt in The Other Boleyn Girl, and can think of some women I would way rather see slay zombies in empire-waisted gowns:
  • Courtney Love - not only would I love to see someone try to get her to wear a floor-length gown for more than a few seconds, but she would potentially out-crazy the flesh-eating zombies.
  • Kate Gosselin - with eight kids surrounding her, she can basically use them as eight kicking, screaming shields.
  • Lady Gaga - her ridiculously awesome fashion sense makes her a shoo-in for this role. If Jane Austen and zombies can go together, surely they need someone who makes turning her hair into a giant bow look effortless.
  • LiLo - She's already pretty good with knives.

Comments

Michael N. Escobar said:

Lame. How long did you spend on writing this post? Don't just reach for the first celebs that spring to your mind. Think about the topic at hand. Who would really be good in a zombie movie?

Helena Bonham Carter.

Orangutan said:
Helena Bonham Carter.

Now THAT would be cool. I'd also say Milla Jovovich, because she has zombie experience already. Felicia Day would also be interesting, though I'm not sure she could handle the 'regency' style

Katy said:

Carter would be cool, but it'd be even cooler to see ANYONE ELSE get a dark, cultish role.

Charlize Theron could do it, I think.

Just so long as it's not Megan Fox, I'm probably OK with it.

Shannon said:

Can we get the Nadalie Portman of Garden State and Closer back?

Paul said:

Shannon, I think the Natalie Portman of Leon would be far more useful.

Stick said:

Fairuza Balk would make a good zombie.

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