Top 10 Men I Attract as an Independent Twenty-something
Posted at 5:00 AM Dec 29, 2009
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By Susan Quesal
[Ed. note: Dolls, please meet Susan. She is a graduate student in American Studies at the University of Texas at Austin and she gets excited about Endless Shrimp at Red Lobster.]
I know I say this every year, but for real this time: In 2010, my New Year's Resolution is to be okay with being single. I am going to stop settling for whatever weirdo wants to drive me home from the bar. I will stop believing that guys who seem like assholes have some sort of hidden human core. And I am not going to date a guy just because he is like, basically in love with me or whatever.
This last resolution sub-point is especially apropos when you consider the types of men who generally go ga-ga over us I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T ladies. Behold, the 10 men I attract as an Independent Twenty-something--a smorgasbord of Garden State Syndromes, Mommy Issues, and Mid-Life Crises!
10) Dudes who like Tina Fey
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I've only met one guy who said he was looking for "his Elaine," but one is enough to tell me They Are Out There. Though I love Elaine as much as the next Doll, I find that men who idolize her are rarely sponge-worthy. Remember, guys, if you want to have this, that and the other with an Elaine, you need to be clever enough to keep up with her.
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8) Dudes who want to prove they are smarter than me
There is a fine line between "challenging" and "threatening," and we independent ladies tend to walk that precarious tightrope in our romantic relationships. I would love to talk about nerdy stuff with you, but you have to promise not to turn our causal dining date into a pissing contest. We can BOTH be smart. We can even be smart in different ways, if you want. I am very impressed by your GMAT score. Now quit getting pee in my Tour of Italy.
7) Dudes who think they like smart chicks because they have only ever dated dumb chicks.
If I had a dollar for every time a guy said I was the "smartest woman he had ever dated," I could buy my own mid-priced chain-restaurant dinner and keep it piss-free. Unfortunately, the only thing I get in exchange for my years of service to Men Who Date Dumb Chicks is a string of men who've sworn off smart chicks because of me. If you don't want to make career sacrifices or ever be wrong, you should probably stick with girls who haven't read a book since high school and quit complaining about it.
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6) Functional alcoholics
I can buy my own drinks, which means he can buy more hooch for himself! Everybody wins! Until he pours himself four fingers of whiskey before we have coffee in the morning. It's hard enough to for a functional alcoholic to take care of himself, let alone take care of someone else. Which is why we Independent Twenty-somethings are so appealing. But this is also the reason we should run the other way when those red flags get to wavin'.
Comments
Great list! Although i think you were drunk when you wrote the "Functional Alcoholic" graph. Too many errors for a smart, sober, independent 20-something. :o]
Posted 12/29/2009 at 08:30:10 AMThis is so true for me, but you forgot one- the nerdy guy who has never had a girlfriend before and so is totally "in love" with you as soon as he finds out you know the difference between console and PC games.
Posted 12/29/2009 at 08:46:30 AMWhats funny is I read this list waiting fill one of the descriptions and I didn't.
I'm 25... pretty successful. I've dated smart women in the past and refuse to ever date anyone who tells me that at the age of 23 they thought Planet of the Apes was a historical event, again.
I like middle ground aggressiveness, which just means we take turns being aggressive and I have never even come close to having kids.
My ego is pretty small and I grew up with low self esteem until college. I've always been smart but I'm usually more interested in how she thinks than displaying/testing superiority. I admit I dig glasses and there is something hot about them but considering my mother has never worn them and was the total opposite of a disciplinarian I think that gets me off of the mommy issue list.
I consider myself moderately attractive but that's neither here nor there. I forget my point in all of this except to say I wonder what my list of women I attract as a successful 20 something male would look like...
Posted 12/29/2009 at 09:46:46 AMOooh. Now I'm going to do a list of Men I Attract As a Thirty Something Married to a Nerd Who Makes A Good Salary.
It's basically all dudes who think I married for money because God Forbid I would actually love my nerd man and/or am capable of making my own money.
Posted 12/29/2009 at 10:36:21 AMHAHA It took me my whole lunch break but I wrote up my list of Top 15 Types of Women I Attract As A 20 Something Male Geek...
http://www.megafriday.com/2009/12/top-15-types-of-women-i-tend-to-attract.html
Posted 12/29/2009 at 01:24:46 PMNot promising something great.. but I am promising something. Thanks for the inspiration.
My friend sent me this and my friends and I have this discussion of the list a few times a month and it is so accurate! love it!
Posted 12/29/2009 at 04:46:21 PMSo this is a bit outside my dating purview, but these seem to essentially be variations of two basic types: smart type-a guys who are just looking for another challenge, and lazy smart guys who wants someone to do all the heavy lifting for them. Dating sucks because people suck, but what is the happy medium? On CNN's 'The Frisky' there's a horrible new article emphatically saying men won't date a woman who is smarter than they are. None of the guys I know want to date a woman that isn't at least as smart as they are. The problem is that most smart people are intellectually competitive in general. That's part of the fun of being around other smart people. Is it better to keep trying until you find an equal, or to try to find someone who is superior but in a different area? Does that make it better? Is it okay to be competitive as long as the volleys are witty?
Posted 12/29/2009 at 09:50:52 PMTHIS LIST IS AMAZING!
I can completely relate. What always shocks me is the awe that men I meet seem to have when they hear I work in finance, I have a firm handshake and am an entrepreneur at age 25.
I'm starting to wonder if it's just part of their "game"?? It must be, because it's ALWAYS the same...
After that initial 5 minutes of "what do you do, where are you from?" there is ALWAYS the immediate "Wow, I've never met someone like you before." Um, really?! Then you obviously have been living in a cave- it's 2009 there are a lot of women in finance who have big ambitions like me.
THEN, they always say they want to date a smart, independent girl. But when it really comes down to it, I think they are tricking themselves into believing it because if you start dating them, they don't understand why you work a a lot, have meetings after your day job, don't put up with crap, don't need them all the time, and are glued to your PDA.
Thanks for sharing!
Posted 12/30/2009 at 05:28:19 AMJakob:
You raise good questions--I don't know which is better, really. It's something most people struggle with. But I will say that not all men on the list are necessarily also smart. The #1 category, for example, is often populated by guys who either aren't razor sharp or who work at not being razor sharp because of their drug habit. And I guess for some of the categories, it also depends on what we mean when we say "smart"--educated? witty? good at everything? good at the thing they do?
I suppose at the end of the day it's just a silly list. There's nothing wrong with dating a smart guy OR a dumb guy (or a normal guy even) if he's good for/to you.
Posted 12/30/2009 at 08:20:22 AMfabulous, susan. i can't wait to add more to the list as our austin adventures continue...
Posted 01/06/2010 at 08:21:43 PM