Posted at 6:40 AM Dec 09, 2009
By Andrea Grimes
When one of my guy friends posted a link to this article, about two female teachers caught hooking up in a classroom in Brooklyn, N.Y., to Facebook with an "I <3 New York" tag, I rolled my eyes. And then I read the actual article, which is line after line of barely stifled giggling, slut-shaming and porn-tastic immature clichés about female sexuality.
Who's hot for teacher? Looks like the other teacher. Two female Romance language instructors were tossed out of their Brooklyn high school after being caught "undressed" in an empty classroom, sources told the Daily News Tuesday. Students at James Madison High School in Midwood were watching a talent show in the auditorium while Alini Brito and Cindy Mauro were speaking the international language of love, sources said.
To be clear: these were two individuals, two instructors of children, reportedly having sex at school. But to the Daily News, and apparently everyone else interviewed, it was just a hot, silly romp by two silly girl-on-girls!
Read on, if you dare:
A janitor stumbled on French teacher Mauro, 33, and Brito, 29, a married Spanish instructor, and tattled to school officials on Nov. 20.
Both tenured teachers were removed from the classroom and sent to Education Department "rubber rooms" while they're investigated for misconduct, sources said. The episode is the talk of the school.
See, the janitor "tattled," because what these two SILLY GIRLS were doing was SO NAUGHTY! Tsk tsk little ladies, maybe you need a spanking? Also, I didn't realize we were now granting "tenure" to junior high teachers.
The episode is the talk of the school. Students even set up a Facebook group to discuss the shenanigans - and it already has more than 500 fans."Now you guys wished we installed cameras in our classrooms after all hmm?" wrote one student.
Janitor Robert Colantuoni refused to comment Tuesday. "I can't talk about it, I'm sorry," he said. Brito's husband, reached by phone, said he was unaware of the accusations, but denied them. "The school district has not informed my wife of these allegations and they are untrue," he said.
HOT HOT LESBIANS! CAMERAS! Oh wait, might these women have families and reputations to defend in the face of these allegations? WHO CARES, HOT HOT GIRL ON GIRL ACTION, AMIRITE!?
Students said both teachers were popular.
"[Ms. Mauro] was pretty fun," said junior Eddie Ramirez, 18.
"She dressed like a teenage girl - she'd wear low-cut tops, shorts, three-quarter length jeans. She was kinda sexy. You could see that she was the kind of person who would flirt."
Students said Mauro dyed some of her hair pink over the summer and has an array of sexy tattoos: a sun on her lower back, a flower on her leg, and a star on her foot.
Sexy tattoos! Low cut tops! Obviously this woman was hired out straight out of The School Of Porn Clichés and we should totally take this one kid's word for it! Because "fun" girls wear low-cut tops and shorts. That is, if they're "fun" lesbians who have sex with other hot girls. Otherwise, they're probably just sluts or something.
Brito opted for more demure attire. "She's pretty," said one 17-year-old who took French with her. "Mrs. Brito was good-looking. Oh, yeah!"
A 16-year-old sophomore said Brito was a teacher students would come to with problems. "She usually dresses elegant, looks smart," he said. "She's good-looking. And she was friendly, not flirty, just friendly."
You know what really tells me a lot about a woman, and what I should think of her and her sexuality, which is completely my business? What she wears. I'm really glad we got all this really pertinent information.
For now, the two women have been re-assigned to the "rubber room," which made a fascinating appearance on This American Life earlier this year.
Hopefully the school will investigate whether Brito and Mauro want to be soaped up wearing only little white t-shirts, or maybe whether they'd like to take a hot sexy lesbian space ride to Mars with the Probe Master. What I definitely would not like to know is whether or not this actually happened or what the actual, non-12-year-old-boy take is on this situation.