Running with Scissors: This time, we all loose

Posted at 10:42 AM Dec 04, 2009

By Kiala Kazebee

There are certain truths in this world that keep us from going batshit insane. These include but are not limited to: the fact that student loan people will ALWAYS work with you to arrange payments. Black is slimming. Burritos are a super food. A trip to IKEA with anyone you care about will end in bloodshed and, finally, people who don't know the difference between "loose" and "lose" do not get book deals.

Guess what kiddos? Time to start stockpiling the tinfoil hats and copies of Catcher in the Rye because Jenna of EatLiveRun has scored herself a book deal. What the theme and subtext of this book might be is a mystery but my educated guess is it will include a.) words and b.) WHO THE FUCK CARES?

Shame on you publishing industry. SHAME ON YOU. Do you really think throwing book contracts at bloggers is the best way to revive your dying trade?

I'm not saying this book by Jenna the Healthy Food Blogger won't sell--it probably will. What I am saying is this girl cannot write a single blog post without multiple typos and grammar errors and you people have given her book a green light because capitalizing on the female obsession with weight and appearance is your golden ticket to moneyland. Gross.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go stand on a street corner in my garbage bag pants and rope belt and wave around an "End is Nigh" sign while yelling incoherent non sequiturs* at people.

*Don't expect to see this or any term like it in Jenna's book.


gizells said:

i hate it when people use phrases like gab-fest. Thus, I will never read her book. that is all.

BorgQueen said:

OMG Seriously... as a proud grammer nerd it drives me abso-fuckin-lutely nuts when people rape our language with bad spelling errors (inexcusable in this age of spell-check) and misuse of grammer rules that we all learned in second frakkin' grade! Language is one of the few things that separates us from the apes and some people.... well you just have to wonder. Here's hoping she has a great editor on her side.

TylerInCMYK said:

Recognizing of course that it is a fool's errand to correct others' usage of language and spelling, I feel inclined to tempt fate. BQ has not only misspelled "grammer" in her condemnation of a less gifted scribe but also errantly employed the 4-dot ellipsis where the 3-dot version or an em dash would be proper.

BorgQueen said:

Tyler it was almost "grammer nurd," just to see if anyone was going to read it.

TylerInCMYK said:

BQ: Shit! I knew it was a trap.

Kiala said:

This was a very clever ruse BQ.

Paul said:

This week, BQ has been sponsored by Admiral Ackbar.

sarah said:

ohhh god, she kills me with the "clearly" and "naturally" in her posts... i don't understand the food blogger book deal trend!? she is not that good of a writer! i need the funny if i'm going to commit to any type of book! she lacks the funny.

Pan said:

We must have missed the announcement on your book deal, Kiala.
Bet your editor is thanking her box of lucky charms, for the lack of spelling and grammatical errors in all your work.
You may march to your place at the head of the class right now, Young Lady.

Cattleprod said:

Wow, you're using an array of fake names to harass someone on the internet, and *she's* the loser? Keep living that dream, asswipe.

Pan said:

Lighten up "Cattleprod", and rejoice in all the worldly good you're doing.

Paul said:

Pan: The best part about this is that you're improving her pay. Now I only need to find a job that will pay me for pissing off people on the internet and I'd be a millionaire.

Adri said:

Perhaps someday, when your work is smiled upon by the people with the power to offer book deals, perhaps then YOU will have the same good fortune as Whatshername and then be able to get off your high horse and stop begrudging others their book deals, or clean arteries, or whatever it is they have that you envy.
This comes off as an extremely jealous post, which I KNOW must be false, as we're not in high school (or are we) anymore. You say "who cares" to what this other blog is about; clearly, YOU CARE since you keep popping on over there to check out the latest.
Let us also not forget that healthy living is a good thing. To fear it is silly; to embrace it, divine. Now I must go for my morning hike and condescend to some chipmunks.

Kiala said:

I wouldn't categorize photographing every single thing you put in your mouth "healthy", would you?

I consider this healthy food blogging business to be just as dangerous to a woman's psyche as any other eating disorder.

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