Posted at 8:00 AM Dec 28, 2009
By Andrea Grimes
Good news, Dolls! I'll be opening a 19th century brothel with all the makeup my family gave me for Christmas. So send in your resume (pony express is fine) and let me know what your skills are. Sorry, we already have a VP of Bustles. Here's what else happened in lady news while you were opening presents and/or going to the movies this weekend:
- What's wrong with Jersey Shore? [Sociological Images] Other than the fact that it's about vapid pornified dipshits? Yes, other than that.
- The worst fictional boyfriends of the decade. [Jezebel] Strangely, that Canadian boyfriend I told my friends I met in a Telnet chat in high school is not on the list. Maybe he was real.
- Happy holidays from rapist Roman Polanski! [Broadsheet] Devastated that he will forever be confined to pondering the Swiss countryside, Polanski nonetheless managed to thank his supporters in a breathless e-mail. It's a Christmas miracle.
- A better reason than "men are from Mars" for Tiger Woods' high-profile sex scandal. [RH Reality Check] But I don't understand it, for I am but a lowly brainless woman who just wants to have babies and one man for the rest of her life.
- Is CNN seriously declaring 2009 the "age of sex scandals," for real reals? [CNN] New this year: Jersey Shore, sliced bread and sex.
- JFK had sexy swim time with naked ladies! There's proof! [TMZ] Wait wait wait, I thought 2009 was the year we discovered sex and scandalous sex, besides?