Posted at 10:00 AM Dec 29, 2009By Andrea Grimes
Isn't your boyfriend fantastic? Is he not the knees of the bees? Does your heart not go pitter-patter with every moment you are in his glorious presence?
Truly, I am happy for you.
But please, sit in the passenger seat. I'm talking to you, women-whose-boyfriends-drive-pick-up-trucks.
Oh, I know it is painful to be more than a few inches away from your beau, but please, do try to make the effort to sit, not straddling the gear shift, but all the way over--yes, all the way over--in the seat that was made for grown-ass people.
I think that you will find that sitting in the passenger seat will not signal the end of your relationship. For example, even from the passenger seat, you can still whisper sweet nothings to your boyfriend as long as he turns the Toby Keith down low enough. You'll find that his long, strong man-arms can still firmly grip your supple thigh while he talks about huntin' and beer and muddin', even if you strap yourself in with the big-girl seat belt.
P.S. This letter may be forwarded to the equally obnoxious close associate of the Gear-Straddlin' Couple, the Couple Who Sits Next To Each Other at Booths in Bars and Restaurants When There Is No Televised Sporting Event on That Would Necessitate Such a Seating Arrangement.