Posted at 10:00 AM Dec 30, 2009
|The classic "sweater and bikini" look.|
By Andrea Grimes
Finally, the day has come: the day when you find out where diet-, exercise- and crappy sex tips-obsessed magazines Men's Health and Women's Health think you should be living based on your gender. Like the Austin American-Statesman's Pat LeBlanc, I am having a bit of a WTF moment. I mean, she's not having a WTF moment because she works for a family newspaper, but this bitch right here is having a what-the-fuck moment. Apparently my fair city of Austin is better to live in for men than for women. Writes LeBlanc:
The editors factored in 35 criteria when making their lists. Among them? Air quality, employment, life expectancy and commute times. They also looked at death rates from more than a half dozen causes, obesity rates and the ratio of single women to single men (and vice versa).
The best part about these lists is arguing about why they're wrong.
While it's #7 on the best cities for men list, Austin didn't make the cut for best cities for women. This is my sad face.
LeBlanc notes Austin's wonderful weather, plethora of health-related activities (hiking, biking, running, what-have-you), to which I would add that this city is a fine location in which to be vegan or vegetarian, has a thriving gay scene, and is populated with liberal-minded folks who generally believe in a woman's right to do whatever the hell she pleases.
And if you're into that kind of thing, we do have an insane amount of hot, talented musicians, artists, geeks, students, writers and other culturally aware people who are always happy to imbibe with you at any number of our myriad bars and maybe have the fun sex. Not to mention the fact that, twice a year, Austin City Limits and South by Southwest bring us bus- and plane-loads of out-of-town eye candy. Yes, truly, Austin is a terrible place to live for us ladies.
Okay, I'll get off my Austin soapbox.
Online, Men's Health gets straight to the top 10 lists. Women's Health compares cities based on cancer rates, gyno offices, etc. Unfortunately, Women's Health also wants you to sign up for their e-mail bullshit to see their top 10 rankings, so please give me 2 seconds in which I can conjure up a fake address to give to that body-shaming monstrosity.
The top 10 cities for women are:
Dolls in these domains, does this news ring true for you?
- San Jose, Calif.
- Madison, Wis.
- Seattle, Wash.
- Aurora, Colo.
- Minneapolis, Minn.
- Fargo, N.D.
- San Francisco, Calif.
- Lincoln, Neb.
- Salt Lake City, Utah
- Colorado Springs, Colo.
Also, if you really want to feel shitty about yourself for a few hours, seriously sign up for the Women's Health member center thing. On the homepage alone, you can:
I feel so empowered.
- Find out if you're an office gossip (Because you're a gossipy woman, after all.)
- Find out if you are bad at dealing with drama (Again, the drama queen thing.)
- Find out if you are wasting your money (Spendy spendy woman, with your furs and jewels.)
- Find out if you are an orgasm expert (Oh, you're not? Bad woman!)
- Find out how old you look (Too old.)
- Find out if birth control is "fact or fiction" (Wait, you don't want to have babies?)
- Find out if spirituality is "in your genes" (ohmygod.)
- Learn what to do if you arch your back during downward dog. (Uh, stop doing that?)