Shit Is Bout 'Ta Get Real, Y'all: The grown-up date debrief

Posted at 2:16 PM Nov 13, 2009

By Andrea Grimes

The Onion

Hey guys. I'ma straddle this chair backwards and talk about some real shit with y'all.

I'm sitting here at one of my favorite Austin pubs having a pitcher of Shiner with my excellent ladyfriend Susan, who has just been on a fun date. A day date. A grown-up day date, y'all! Because grownups go on dates in the day time. Especially over-stressed graduate students. Who are also very grown-up.

Instead of doing a squealy-mouthed hope-filled replay of her date, we walked--like grown-up ladies--to the pub in question, and proceeded to talk calmly and rationally about Susan's date. After rehashing the high and low points of said date, we realized that dating expectations have become measured. No longer boundless optimism, our dating approach is now colored by a somewhat lengthy history of disappointments, let-downs, and--of course--successes.

Said Susan: "It is such a different thing, not to be excited, but just to be like, 'He should call me, right?'"

Instead of deciding that he's the one, we now provide our friends with logical arguments about why this might be a good (or bad) thing to do (or not do.) The grown-up dating de-brief combines cautious optimism with a frank discussion of shortcomings and potential roadblocks.

The grown-up dating debriefee will share in the excitement of meeting someone new, but will not abide date hyperbole. The debriefee will point out potential red flags (e.g. "He doesn't have internet at his house!? That's weird.") and the debriefer will spend as much time on evaluating the con's as the pro's.

Is this shit real, y'all? Comment away.


David said:

LOL - welcome to being old.

bobby said:

These things are all true.

simba said:


Shouldn't that graphic be attributed to The Onion at least? And my thought is the, the rational debrief is an exception. We don't really leave the high school mentality with this stuff. It's 50/50 as we get much older.


Andrea said:

Meep! Good catch, Simba. Totally missed that.

Susan said:

I was doing well til that second pitcher when the emo came home to roost...

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