Sad Bastard of the Week: What the hell is wrong with Lucinda Rosenfeld?
Posted at 1:11 PM Nov 03, 2009
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Rosenfeld already demonstrated her unwillingness to give her letter-writers the benefit of the doubt when she speculated that a woman who was most likely drugged at a bar was probably just a drunk whose friends were tired of her bad behavior. This week, Rosenfeld takes it to another planet, wherein if your friend is an asshole, it is your fault, you stupid, selfish bitch. "Can't Take The Lies And Snubs Anymore" is tired of an illness-feigning fairweather friend's callous treatment of the LW and her own parents.
For most of my life, I've known a woman--"Prissy"--who has to have things her way, requires the undivided devotion and attention of men, and compartmentalizes her life to the point where, if it's not convenient, I'm not part of her existence.... The final blow: When Prissy mentioned she had an overabundance of an indulgent fashion item of her mother's (whom I knew well in my youth), I said it would be nice to have one. "Oh no!" Prissy replied, almost indignantly, "I plan to sell them all on eBay." At that precise moment, the years and tears and crushed feelings resurfaced. Since then, I've declined her telephone calls (she hasn't visited me for decades, despite living just a few miles apart).Instead of advising CTTLASA on how to break off this "friendship," Rosenfeld makes sure that CTTLASA knows she's a grabby materialist who has no business wishing for a memento of someone she loved in her youth:
Wait, you're telling me that you wept after Prissy failed to hand-deliver one of her mother's frayed Chanel handbags? I guess I'm a little confused, since a) we're ultimately talking about a piece of leather (or a fur coat or a diamond necklace) here; b) you say you don't particularly care about "things," and c) it belonged to her mother, not yours.Nevermind the fact that the LW says she wants the keepsakes as a memento, and explicitly not for their monetary value.
As for her "feigned illness," if that's really what it is, I agree it's annoying to think of her receiving taxpayer handouts. (I have a friend who manages to elude Uncle Sam and it never ceases to irk me.) But, again, her failure to play by the rules is not really a personal affront.Actually, when someone milks the taxpayer-funded system for money they don't need, that is a personal affront to me, as a taxpayer. And I don't even know this woman.
Since you say you have such a full life, I suggest you get on with it--and leave Prissy's to Prissy. If you really want a designer bag (or whatever it is), start a "mad money" account at your bank and deposit 50 bucks in it every month. At the end of two years, you'll have bought your own. Even better, find out when Prissy is putting the goods up for auction, and get in there with an early, solid bid. Chances are you'll get your memento, after all.Again, Rosenfeld fails to see the difference between "buying an expensive bag" and "wishing for a memento of a lost loved one." But really, that kind of nuance is probably lost on someone who thinks that friends--specifically, people other than immediate family members or boyfriends-- shouldn't feel even a little bit obligated to take their other friends to the emergency room if they're in dire straits. Ultimately, Rosenfeld's solution--snarky though it may be--actually puts this woman back in touch with "Prissy," instead of ending the friendship.
This woman wrote a book about friendship, people.
Comments
Thank you for calling out this column! I read that this morning and was absolutely appalled by the so called "advice columnist" complete and utter failure to actually read what the LW has written! Double X needs to dump Lucinda Rosenfeld, and fast.
Posted 11/03/2009 at 01:47:29 PMI just can't help but think that the Lucinda Rosenfeld column is, like, a big joke. One day Double X will be all, "JK, guys. Haha, we really had you going, huh?"
At least I can hope.
Posted 11/03/2009 at 05:33:14 PM