Posted at 11:00 AM Nov 27, 2009By Kiala Kazebee
Well, that's the Thanksgiving Holiday in a nut butter shell for the ladies of the healthy blogoverse. So much food, so little control over the calories, so little control over exercise, so much pressure to eat, eat! you're so thin, eat some pie and OMG SO MUCH BUTTER I GIVE UP I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE NOW THANK YOU SO BLOODY MUCH AMERICA.
It must be absolutely terrifying to be fraught with anxiety and FATTY GRAVY DANGER for these women. Let's take a quick peek into that dark, marshmallow-filled ancient cave of poisoned pies and booby-trapped butterball turkeys. Throw me the idol, my friends, and I'll throw you the Cool Whip.
I don't know what that means, either. I just desperately wanted to use that phrase.
- "I think it's fun to have something 'fun' like a burrito before all of the heavy Thanksgiving food." [Two Runners And A Brown Dog] Someone needs to redefine their definition of "fun" before they begin acting out and picking up strange dudes at book signings like Brenda in Six Feet Under.
- "That said, here are my tips for winning the war on Thanksgiving" [Your Nutritionista] I had no idea Thanksgiving was a "war." I thought it was a meal. Does this mean I need to move to Canada in order to avoid the draft? Will I be pardoned? CAN I STILL HAVE PIE?
- ".. I looked over the menu. The entire menu. And it was quite different from the online version. This unexpected turn of events made me feel rather anxious." [Veggie Girl Vegan] THAT ENTIRE SENTENCE MADE ME ANXIOUS. Honey, put the menu down, take a deep breath, and stop thinking about food for one glorious second of your life. When the world doesn't end and the boulder doesn't crush you, you'll have an epiphany. And some motherfucking garlic mashed potatoes.
- "After hacking that [pumpkin filling can] to shit, I made homemade pumpkin ice cream for the ice cream cake." [Shedding It] I actually like this girl and I'm going to be thankful for that in honor of the holiday/war.