In Season: Turkey, and How

Posted at 5:00 AM Nov 26, 2009

By Kathleen Willcox

Death_Chef.jpeg
Thanks. Giving.

Two simple words. Two glorious, auspicious, life-affirming definitions. But put together? It leads to ...

The much-feared Thanksgiving: evoking chaos, grubby hands, third-degree burns, curdled gravy, broken crockery, screaming matches, political debates, salmonella, rudeness, dramatic gagging noises, drunkenness, dogs' heads mysteriously finding their ways into various dead animal carcasses, cats who run off with turkey gizzards and then throw up in the middle of a carefully arranged crudite platters, strife, kicking, screaming and, yes - too many marshmallows.

Or maybe that's just at my house.

If you experience any of the above joys though, pop an Excedrin, swig it down with a full-bodied Pinot Noir and read on.

I've gathered a no fail recipe guide for your sanity (no matter what your tastes) and survival on D-Day, er T-Day:

The Classic:

If you're a people-pleaser, good luck today! Before throwing in the towel and crying yourself to sleep at 2 p.m. though, consider using some (not all, champ) of Julia Child's master Thanksgiving recipes, courtesy of Celebrations.com. It's all there, from the turkey to how to whip up the perfect chocolate mousse.

The Revolutionary:

Okay, so you eat meat - but you want it come from an organically fed, humanely raised pampered turkey who had plenty of room to roam. Why not follow locavorian leader Alice Waters' guide to a delicious dinner, courtesy of Eating Well.

The Vegetarian:

Plenty of mouth-watering options out there for Veggies - ignore the naysayers and cook a 100 percent meat-free dinner. Check out everything from Cranberry Slaw to Walnut-Apple Stuffing to Pueblo Corn Pie over at VegKitchen.com. Huzzah!

I hope everyone eats way too much and enjoys every bite. No diets allowed!

Comments

Wendy said:

I'm thankful for your posts, especially today's, where something about your writing "people pleaser" resonated. Giving me the courage to call my passive aggressive borderline personality sister, who as of three days ago was already ganging up with my passive aggressive Momster through email and phone messages, gearing up to carve into me royally at the family dinner, AGAIN.

I'm thankful I finally found the courage to call in my cancellation to the annual family Crazygiving this morning (better late than never).

I'm thankful their answering machines picked up.

I'm thankful to be feeling relieved and not guilty.

I'm thankful my town has several movie theaters open today.


kathleen said:

Hey Wendy,

Hang in there and good for you -- most of us aren't born into our families -- we have to create them. As cheesy as that sounds, I'm sure you're on your way or already there.

Stick said:

Strangely enough, you're not alone on the marshmallows. (We use them for sweet potatoes or something.)

You were right about the drunkenness. Parents decided to go get hammered before dinner. The rolls were even under cooked. (The kind in the can!)

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