Posted at 3:07 PM Nov 26, 2009
By Andrea Grimes
I just woke up from a 2-hour tryptophan coma to hear my family hollering downstairs along with the Dallas Cowboys game. In my dream, a vision: five women appeared to me, all of whom I am thankful for. And when I woke, I knew that this would be the post I would make. Just kidding. I had to pee kinda bad, so it was one of those where you keep trying to find a place to pee in your dream. And when I woke, I knew that I'd make a beeline for the bathroom.
Nonetheless, here are five women I'm thankful for:
5. Kate Gosselin
If it weren't for Kate, her massive passel of kids with Jon Gosselin and their eventual divorce, men who wear Ed Hardy clothes and date bimbos would have possibly been able to continue to believe they were more George Clooney than Giant Nerd. Now, they're forced to confront the idea that they might be "that guy." The slightly chubby, baldy jerk who looks sad, not sweet.
4. Miley Cyrus
I'm sure that if Miley didn't exist, some version of "Party In The USA" would have been released by whatever pop star happened to be massively popular at present. But Miley won the day, and "Party In The USA" won my ears. (Sorry Miley, I'm not posting your official video. Why would I, when I can post this?)
3. Lady Gaga
Last night at a scary dive bar near my hometown, three ambiguously homosexual, Fred Durst-emulating bro-dawgs sang "Poker Face" at a seedy karaoke night. I think it brought them closer to accepting their true selves. Either that, or the kamikaze shots. Regardless, Lady Gaga has said that her whole wacky persona is meant to help people feel better about themselves:
"The whole point of what I do -- the Monster Ball, the music, the performance aspect of it -- I want to create a space for my fans where they can feel free and they can celebrate," she said on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" airing Friday. "I didn't fit in in high school, and I felt like a freak. So I like to create this atmosphere for my fans where they feel like they have a freak in me to hang out with and they don't feel alone."
2. [tie] Sarah Palin and Carrie Prejean
I'm not thankful for their right-wing nuttiness. But I am thankful for the fact that they've opened up a national dialogue about taking women to task for their politics rather than their looks or their sexuality. Not that the dialogue has stopped people from judging their looks and their sexuality, but at least somebody pointed a finger.
1. My mom, aunts, cousins and the other wonderful women of my family who made this badass spread of sweet deliciousness