10 Things Disney Taught Me About Being a Lady

Posted at 5:00 AM Nov 02, 2009

By Andrea Grimes

We've covered some Disney-related gender issues on Heartless Doll lately, talking about the portrayals of both men and women in the kids' films. But really, what's the impact in the real world? Here are the lessons--both explicit and implied--that I gleaned from my time as a Disney fan (peaking c. 1988-1995). Thinking back to my girlhood, these are 10 things Disney taught me about being a lady.

10. There Is No Need for Protective Gear When Entering into a Dangerous Situation

Your impossibly pert breasts should do the trick.


9. Oh, You Don't Have Impossibly Pert Breasts?

You can probably get some (or whatever it is you're lacking) from an old, ugly sociopath. Moreover, you should want to do this in the name of love. Lest you become a poor, unfortunate soul.

8. True Love, and Finding It, Is the Most Important Thing in Life

You'll know you're in love when you do a lot of covering your mouth, gasping, and leaning on things.



7. You'll Know He Loves You When He Takes You Out for a Nice Seafood Dinner

Even if it means eating your close friends and family. Hey baby, just consider it. No pressure. You might even like it. You just tell me when you're ready.



6. You Will Most Likely End Up with the First Guy You Fall For

And it will be a guy.

5. COLOR MORPHING DRESS OMG OMG OMG

I never wanted another dress as badly as I wanted this one, until I met Joan Holloway.


4. Ladies Have Sunny Outlooks About Their Shitty Situations

After all, your Prince Charming is bound to come by and save you from a lifetime of housework. Married women never do housework. They do, however, do a lot of waltzing.



3. You Can, and Should Have, BIG, BIG Dreams About Escaping Your Boring Life!

But, ultimately, being with a dude is more awesome than having a career.


2. HE CAN CHANGE!


1. Befriend animals, supernatural beings, flora, freaks, inanimate objects and other things that are less attractive than you are.

For they are wise and liable to rescue you from whatever dire situation your pretty face has gotten you into. That is, if the prince doesn't get around to it first.

Comments

Jill aka The Nerdy Bird said:

I'd still give my right arm for Sleeping Beauty's dress.

The Admiral said:

This is a completely pointless thing to say, but Ursula was the coolest old, ugly sociopath that ever sociopathed.

It's a funny thing about Disney movies. I'm practically a man-hater but EVERY TIME I watch a Disney movie I get all misty-eyed. Maybe it's subliminal messages or something. It never occurs to me to think that Belle's song and dance about wanting more is just a load of crap, or everything Ariel gives up for marital bliss.

Wendy said:

Disney taught me, that no matter if you're wearing a titty top or glass slippers, women can fly.

Alayna said:

I'm all for furthering women-- and I didn't find too much wrong with this until Pocahontas-- but this is a little far. She's Native American. It has nothing to do with her gender that she likes animals and talks to trees.

Belle is, like, the second most feminist Disney character ever. She turned down the hot guy for her books, because he was an ass. Every other girl wanted to be his "little wife," but not Belle.

I do admit that, even having saved my life, Beast would have a lot of catch-up to play before I even considered him a friend, let alone my "true love".

sarahjo said:

Wow Alayna, that's really surprising to me. And here I thought Pocohantes was one of the most inaccurate and falsified legends disney has 'adapted.'
I had no idea Native Americans talked to trees and animals. I suppose all my Native American friends and boyfriend must be finding the chatty trees when I'm not looking. I wish they would let me share in that magic.
Good to know that when it comes to furthering women, all you think of is race. Way to generalize and close your eyes to almost EVERY other video on here, which only emphasizes the point made by Number One.
The author is using Pocahantes as an example. ALL the disney princesses have frolicking forest friends that save their asses left and right. Beauty and the Beast had enchanted household items, Snow White had forest friends helping her clean (did you not watch the video?), Sleeping Beauty had birds digging her left and right, Jasmine had a tiger to protect her, Ariel had ONLY animal friends.
I think it has less to do with her being Native American than it does with the fact that she's female. Notice none of the males in her tribe are singing with raccoons and talking to trees? Even though one would think the Chief would consult the tree, given that it's an ancestor and probably sacred and so on. But hey, what would I know? Clearly you're far more observant and learned in the ways of other cultures and furthering women than anyone else here.

Alice said:

Hey, thanks for taking clips and videos completely out of context and make assumptions as large as the ones you accuse the these Disney movies of.

No, they are not the feminist, dick hating movies you'd wish they were. They are traditional, but nowhere near as vacuous as you accuse.

And for Nala's case, it was either the reappeared Simba of Scar...take your pick.

Anonymous said:

Viewed through the lens of time, I do agree that the message of disney is not ever that of 'go out there and kick some ass, girl'

but I also have to admit that the 'Romeo Save Me' video there was kinda... Cute. And adorable and I liked it. It sorta detracts from the message.

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