10 Inner Dialogues from the Minds of the Holiday Urban Outfitters Catalog Models
Posted at 5:00 AM Nov 23, 2009
By Kiala Kazebee
Let's take a look inside the mind of the modern model, shall we ladies and gents? Also, let's alliterate with wild, weckless wabandon.
So. Models. What makes them tick? How do they keep on "smizing" when the hurt inside is too great to smize? Is smize a verb or an adjective? What is their "process" like? Do they ever have really bad gas and let one go accidentally while contorting their bodies into those "broken doll" poses Tyra and Miss Jay love so very much? What is their stance on jeggings? WHY WON'T THEY LOVE ME?
All theses questions and more will be answered for you today. Sort of.
10. Are you guys looking at my vagina area because I flung my hand there? Excellent. MY PLAN IS WORKING. In other news, I'm not sure why I thought this was a good plan.
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9. I realize I'm already sitting in the window of a high-rise building looking down on the world but if I tilt my head back just a teensy bit more I can look down on the world EVEN HARDER.
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8. Soooo...how long do I have to stand like this before someone tells me I look like a painting? Three minutes? Five? I think I'm giving myself scoliosis. OMG I'm going to have to wear a brace like Deenie and chop all my hair off! SOMEONE TELL ME I'M A PAINTING ASAP.
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7. Now I understand why my cat does this. SO WARM.
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6. I am so channeling Norma Desmond right now. "I am big. It's the pictures that got small." HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Okay. I just creeped myself out.
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5. 'Sup? What? Shit. I'm not wearing pants again, am I?
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4. Look, I can't tell my back from my front either. It's a sore subject for me. ALL BODIES ARE BEAUTIFUL. Some are just more challenging visually than others.
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3. Mommy had a bit too much of her special Christmas punch last night, darlings. Why don't you go outside and play silently while I rest my eyes for a bit longer? Tell Consuela to just vacuum around me.
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2. OMG I'm a VAMPIRE! Look at me sparkle in the sun! I...oh wait. These are just fancy tights. Never mind.
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1. I am going to make out with your hair SO HARD.
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Comments
I love when you do these!
Posted 11/25/2009 at 09:44:07 AMI want to quote your post in my blog. It can?
Posted 12/25/2009 at 01:52:20 AMAnd you et an account on Twitter?