10 Crimes Against Womanity Committed by For The Love Of Ray J

Posted at 5:00 AM Nov 11, 2009

By Kiala Kazebee

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Dear Ray J,

I Googled you. I'm sorry. I know a new relationship should be founded on mutual trust and respect but I couldn't help myself. I was there, the Google was there. It just happened.

Big Sigh.

HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME ABOUT THAT SEX TAPE WITH THAT KARDASHIAN GIRL??? Did you seriously think I wouldn't find out? Just because you nicknamed me "Incredibly Stupid" doesn't mean I actually AM.

What happened Ray J? What does Brandy think of you "accidentally" leaking that tape to Vivid Entertainment? Do you think she's proud of her little brother? What happened to that sweet little D Money boy on TV's Moesha? And Snoop Dogg--do you think he's proud of his cousin? Wait. Don't answer that.

My point is: I don't know if we have a future together, you and I. What if you "accidentally" leak our sex tape? The one we made on Vimeo and posted to our agent's blog? And what about all these other girls you're "auditioning" to receive your love on VH1? FOR THE SECOND TIME? I don't know that I can share you...again. At least, I can't share you unless it's on Vimeo and posted to our agent's blog.

We're at a crossroads, Ray J, and not the good Britney Spears kind where three childhood best friends and a guy they just met, take a trip across the country, finding themselves and their friendship in the process. I mean the kind of crossroads where I dump you publicly in an "exclusive" interview and photo shoot with Us portraying me as the saintly ex-girlfriend who finally Had Enough and Is Working Through Her Emotions by putting together an exclusive line of Sex Tape Clothing for Target.

Good luck with your show Ray J and don't you forget about me. Don't don't don't..don't you..forget about me. GOD. THAT WAS OUR SONG RAY J. SOB.

Love,
Incredibly Stupid

On to the list of crimes:

10.) THE FUCKING NICKNAMES.



"Luscious." "Tipsy." "Trouble." "Exotica." I don't remember where this tradition of assigning stripper names to ladies on reality dating shows started. Was it Flavor of Love? Was it the Bible? I guess we'll never know for certain. All we can conclude is that hip-hop stars, much like cult leaders, have to break you down before they can build you back up again. In their image.



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9.) The Girl-on-Girl (Hate) Action.

Is it ridiculous to expect the women who are pretending to "love" a man they've never met before in order to receive a modicum of fame and fortune to behave civilly and respectfully towards each other? Hello? Why are you all staring at me like that and nodding your heads?

 8.) The Girl-on-Girl (Regular) Action.

You just told some girl you could see her "nasty-ass weave tracks," and now you've got your tongue shoved down her throat. YOU LIE. You are not gay. Knock it off.

7.) "Fashion."

Actually, Ray J looks nice. I don't want to talk about Exotica's be-zippered sexy Beyond Thunderdome club wear, though. It makes me sad in my emotions place.

6.) Ray J Doesn't Want Love.

You can't fool me, Ray J. I'm on to you.