Posted at 12:00 PM Oct 09, 2009
By Kiala Kazebee
This week's Fine China is a cornucopia of autumnal delights served to you on a bed of gentle snark and deep, abdominal belly laughter. Or maybe I'm getting the words "cornucopia" and "hodgepodge" mixed up. NO MATTER. A stew of Congressional health care news, lesbian-isms, men's magazine "wisdom" and bad birth control are simmering on the internet stove, awaiting your reading spoon. I apologize now for that metaphor. Please don't flame me.
- Health reform is a woman's issue! Still! Female Democrats are stepping up to the plate and pushing the health reform agenda hard, reminding Congress that insurance companies routinely charge women more for health care and, in many states, domestic violence is considered a pre-existing condition. Guess which states. Go on, guess. I'll bet one of them rhymes with Bible Belt. On related note, I don't know what rhyming is.
- According to this CNN Health article, lesbians are fat, depressed, alcoholics. To be fair, most Americans are fat, depressed, alcoholics so I suppose this assessment is pretty accurate?
- Army of Darkness is a lady boner killer, according to Maxim magazine. Last time I checked, every single female friend of mine could recite at least two lines from this movie so to Maxim magazine, I say, "Klaatu Barada Nikto." There, Maxim, I SAID YOUR WORDS.
- Men's Health published an article about Sex Secrets For Her, or some such thing and um ... it's actually pretty spot on. Why, yes, I do prefer to do it when the house is clean and my deadlines are met, and yes, positions do need to have a purpose rather than just fulfill some dude's recent porn fantasy. Congratulations to you, Men's Health, and thank you for paying attention!
- Discovery Sexual Health says the pill "might induce women to mate with otherwise less-preferred partners, which might have important consequences for mate choice and reproductive outcomes". Basically, because we are no longer slaves to our non-ovulatory hormones, we will make poor choices for the evolution of our species. Heaven forbid we make our sexual decisions based on our brain pans, rather than the amount of facial hair or pectoral muscles on a dude. That would be awful.