Ladies of the world: Let's make goth shoes go away

Posted at 3:35 PM Sep 24, 2009

By Andrea Grimes

Ladies of the world,

Take your stupid, clunky, emo-ass goth shoes off. Stick them in a time machine and ship 'em back to the mid-'90s, where they can enjoy being edgy and threatening. You'll probably also want to throw in your Marilyn Manson records, but I'll allow you to hang on to them in case you want to sell them at CD Warehouse or something. But we have no room for your twenty-buckle S&M boots here in 2009.

Clearly if you're still wearing these heinous clunkers, you missed the memo: tattoos, black eyeliner and a bad attitude stopped being edgy and non-conformist around the time Bill Clinton left office. So you really don't have to abuse your feet and figure by wearing your goth boots any more. I'm not oppressing you by telling you to ditch the shoes--I'm liberating you! You can be sad, angry, morose, whatever and not wear shoes that make you look like a Lego man. It's called "being a thoughtful, emotional human."

From whence does the goth fashion get its timelessness? Walking around my local college campus today, I noticed students wearing the same black-all-over getups favored by kids I went to high school with 7 years ago--and I can assure you that we didn't think it was new, even then. Isn't it time to move on from pasty makeup and neon-dreadlocks? I think so. Ladies of the world, will you join me?



Lizzy Caston said:

Two Words: Hot Topic

Anonymous said:

You can say the similar about hip hop fashion. Seems like super baggy pants and huge tees have been around for eternity.... always looked stupid.

Anonymous said:

Ha! That all-black look was getting tired when I rocked it back in high school -- in 1980.

Paul said:

I'm looking at those boots and I gotta say, they'd be great for kicking the stupid out of people.

Mjx said:

Eh. I think hip hop fashion is even worse, and tends to come with a worse attitude... Most of the goths/would-be-goths have settled for trying to LOOK disturbing. I could never get behind the clonky shoes or pasty makeup (being naturally pasty), but honestly, If everyone trying to be 'different' and express their angst settle for moping in corners over De Sade while being pallid and dressed in black, I could live with that far more easily than hearing some over-privileged git with his pants halfway down his arse refer to his girlfriend as 'mah bitch', or women in general as 'hos', in an effort at street cred...

@Paul: Steel-toed Grinders are even better for kicking the shit out of stupid people ;)

Heather said:

I vote uggs and crocs go down first!

Catherine said:

Meh, I still kind of like that look but emos have ruined it a little. Those shoes are always to expsensive so I suppose it doesn't matter anyway.

Ro said:

I have a pair of shoes like that and I have to say they have held up a long time. I bought mine ten years ago and they are still in good shape even after frequent wear.

I agree with Heather. Crocs need to go!

Teev said:

I'm not into all the buckles, but at 5'3" I like a shoe that gives me height so I frequenly end up buying some kind of platform because I want the height but not the drastic heel to toe slant I'd get from a regular 5 inch heel.

jeff said:

the goth thing was fine back when i was 17-18 and im 31 now!
All of a sudden these malnourished boys with way too tight jeans are lookin retarded and callin them selves emo.
all the goth girls i knew back then were seriously fucked up.
these emo kids are jus goth lite. they live in suburbia and have fancy cell phones an nice houses.
All you girls an women out there need to make emo guys feel stupid for it.
and the goth boots arent cool anymore either

Tana said:

fuck you :]
Goth boots are amazing.
no one cares what you think.

Lutetium said:

It's not about being different or "sad, angry, morose", it's about finding what you feel comfortable in.

It's this sort of "we have no room for your twenty-buckle S&M boots here" attitude that made me feel out of place as a teen. I bought my first pair of chunky spiky boots after saving up for months, after which my mother was convinced I was a lesbian. I mean, how does that even work? I didn't buy them because I wanted to be cool, I bought them because I thought they were gorgeous. Same reason why I recently bought a cute pair of polka dot heels.

Except they were way more comfortable than my new heels and much easier to run around in. Have you ever tried to stomp through puddles with giant invincible boots on? There's nothing quite like it.

Sabine said:


Go back to your mall, chav.

cidsnoing said:

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Manda said:

You really are dumb if you think that goth is anything new, or that it is going anywhere.
Goth, the music and the clothes and the make up, have all been around for several decades.
Parts of it, the scene as a whole, have changed here and there over the years.
But, it is by no means something that cam into existence just 7 or 10 years ago and it will not be going any where anytime soon.
And it has nothing to do with being morose and angry, for the most part.
Just because you do not enjoy the music or the style does not mean that there are not A LOT of other people that do.
Opinions are like ass holes, and you, my dear, are one.

Warlvancere said:

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Take a look at this funny emo video:

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