Fine China: Sexual Health News For Ladies

Posted at 11:47 AM Sep 25, 2009

By Kiala Kazebee

[Ed. note: Welcome to Fine China, our new weekly feature wherein Kiala Kazebee brings you the weirdest, wonkiest, lady tingling-est sexual health news about your most exquisite parts. Get it, FINE CHINA, GET IT!?]

It's been years since I've felt the urgent and driving need to have intimate relations inside a vehicle but reading this post reminds me why I stopped, for lack of a better term, doin' it. The awkward seating arrangements, the confusing undergarment situation, the messiness, and the excitement/terror of getting caught eventually led to a cease and desist of car sex in my life. Still...I feel a little wistful, nostalgic even, for my car sex days and the me who threw panties to the wind or whatever and intimately related in cars without fear. Then again, I was usually super-drunk. So there's that.

According to US News and World Report, a study from the Guttmacher Institute has found that sexually active women ages 18-39 with low to middle class incomes are having a difficult time affording contraception due to the recession. These same women who can't afford birth control obviously can't afford the cost of having a child (or for that matter, an abortion). For women who aren't lucky enough to live within easy access to a Planned Parenthood, my only advice is, GAH YOU'RE FUCKED. Sorry. No, really, condoms are cheap. Keep them in your purse next to your lip balm please.

Michelle Obama informed America on Monday that health care is a woman's issue. Andrea wrote this news up nicely
here and I'm not sure why I'm even mentioning this story other than a
sense of sex health news-y obligation as she really nailed it and I
have nothing of value to add and fuck why am I still talking?

Finally, I took a Women's Health quiz today entitled "Test Your Vagina IQ"
and received an 8 out of 13. That's like a D+. Just a little something
to keep in mind when you start wondering why I refer to the "clitoris"
as "that thingy" or the "perineum" as the "bicycle seat place". I blame
Catholic School. And America.


melissalion said:

Is there some sort of mail order free condom thing? Or a website that you sign up with and they send people free condoms? If not, could someone please invent one.

ken said:

kiala, the link to the car sex story is messed up...

Riding on Boys in Cars: My Life Has Come Full Circle

Kiala said:

Oop! Thanks Ken.

Crissy said:

Thanks for the link! I heart you, Kiala Kazebee!

And I cannot afford the Today Sponge. I wanted to try it, but at $5 a piece? That's some very special Sexy Time. I'd wind up saving them like my grandpa saves packages of new underpants for "special." And that "special" never comes.

Whit said:

Ha! I got 9 of 13. But then I'm a man, so of course I think about vagina all the time.

francesfrances said:

I tried to take the test, but the woman's health website made my computer act wonky.

I would have gotten %100 because I am made of awesome.

V. said:

I blame George Bush.

grizolda said:

i got 9 out of 13. I may need to do some investigation today

Lori said:

9/13. Somehow I thought I'd do better.
And the things I remember most about car sex:
1- Remember to wipe toe-prints off windows of his parents' car.
2- Think up good excuses for all the bruises you got from unfortunate contacts with gear shift while climbing to the back seat or while being too impatient to actually head for the back seat.
3- Never ever ever leave your diaphragm in the glove compartment of his parents' car. It will lead to Unpleasant Conversations.

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