Posted at 9:06 AM Sep 03, 2009
By Andrea Grimes
In a press release sent out today, three dating sites have conducted a survey that says guys like fat girls, too. Clever, Date.com, Amor.com and Matchmaker.com! Obviously the fat girls out there are stupid enough not to notice your playing on mass insecurity and shame to get them to sign up for your sites. Online date away, you porkers, because love is possible, even though you're "heavy."
Ugh. The press release claims that fat women are missing a lot of "dating opportunities," apparently to date men who pity them:
"A whopping 85% of single men professed their love for heavier women with more than 80% of men feeling that overweight women are less bitchy than thin women. These single men thought that overweight women appreciate the attention that men give them and are more loving because of it."
You know, those statistics and explanations are telling, but not because they give hope to overweight women. They're telling because they show the ridiculous way overweight people are treated and perceived in society. Obviously if you're fat, you must hate yourself and be infinitely grateful for any scrap of attention you can get. Nevermind the fact that the words "overweight" and "heavy" and even "fat" are never defined in the study. Nevermind the fact that Jessica Simpson and Kelly Clarkson--two "fat" women cited as sexy role models--are about as fat as watching paint dry is fun. Nevermind the fact that you can be fat and confident (and bitchy! and nice! and silly! and smart!) and not, as this survey seems to want us to believe, merely sad and desperate for the love you will never have. Most telling of all is that the survey is about what men of any size want in women of a specific size, and not the other way around.
What the press release buries is that the question "thousands of male online daters nationwide" were asked was whether or not they'd date a woman with "a few extra pounds." 85% said they would. Ah, so scientific! And specific! Obviously this means that guys love fat women, who should sign up for online dating, did I mention that? There's a big, fat difference between asking a guy if he'd date a girl with a few extra pounds and if he'd date one who's "heavy" or "fat" or "overweight" or "obese." But ah, semantics, right? Really, the headline of this article should read "85% of Single Men Who Signed Up For Our Online Dating Sites That We Surveyed Don't Mind If You Have A Few Extra Pounds, Meaning They'd Really Mainly Like You To Be Average, Probably On The Thin Side Of Average, Thanks."
But 80% of the guys said that even if a woman was obese, they could still love her! How this reconciles with the rest of the survey, I don't know: 64% of men said that if a love interest was a "couple of pounds overweight" they would only like her if she were trying to lose it, and 42.5% of men said that they could not date someone who was more than 20 pounds overweight.
So, most men don't mind if you're a little fat, but a majority of those men want you to be trying to lose it, and most of those men are going to leave you if you're 20 pounds overweight, anyway. I think we can learn something very important from this survey: don't try to understand stupid, pandering bullshit.