Posted at 10:30 AM Aug 07, 2009
By Andrea Grimes
Michael Cera is no heartthrob. He's not even a nerdy heartthrob. He's a whiny, self-involved creep and it's about damned time the hipster girls of the world stopped falling in love with him. I've been trying to understand the attraction while at the same time formulating why everything that seems awesome about him is, in reality, completely creepy. AMIRITE, LADIES!?
Here are a few starter points:
Appealing: Michael Cera's boyish, unassuming charm
Unappealing: Michael Cera's boyish, unassuming charm means that he can say totally creepy things and get away with it because, hey, he's just Michael Cera being charming, and, oh, yeah, he'll find out where you live, but he's so boyish and unassuming, when he sneaks into your bedroom at night and stabs you in your ladyface, you'll be like, 'Michael Cera, you are so boyish and unassuming when you murder me!'
Example: Paper Heart trailer
Unappealing: It's also so cute when he acts endearing and charming, and he's equally good at both. Will it be cute when he goes alternately batshit and adorable throughout your relationship because he can't decide if he wants to play-fight or play-make-you-a-weepy-mixtape-and-cry-on-your-duvet-cover?
Example: this Knocked Up outtake
Appealing: Michael Cera just wants to sing nice songs with you on your stoop.
Example: this shit.