Ladies prefer a fistful of cash to a fistful of man-meat?

Posted at 12:26 PM Aug 17, 2009

By Andrea Grimes

Today in asinine surveys: ladies are money-grubbing whores! Er, actually, according to an AOL online survey, we're just money-grubbing. Whew. I always forget which days I'm supposed to be a frigid, cash-obsessed bitch and which days I'm slated to act as a layabout strumpet with homewreckin' on her mind. Today, it's frigid bitch! The New York Daily News has the story:

For love or money; we'll take money. And that's the final answer to a question about what women say they would rather do when given a choice between saving $50 a week or having more sex. Sorry, boys. It's the economy. A national survey conducted by AOL's and found that, in these hard times, most women were happy to have more spending money than spending more time in bed.
I know it's a bad idea to give air time to this kind of hokey publicity tomfoolery. But just because I know better doesn't mean I'm about to refrain from calling out said tomfoolery. (In fact, while we're on the subject of great bad ideas, hold on a sec ... this whiskey isn't going to refill itself.) Apart from highlighting the fact that $50 does buy an awful lot in this crappy economy (grocery bill, when did you become $100/week?), this survey says close to nothing about anything.

While I wouldn't argue that sex and money aren't sometimes interchangeable or that they don't have corresponding values ($20, loving-you-long-time and whatnot), I would argue that handing me a fistful of cash and asking me if I'd like to gamble on some sex that may or may not be satisfying are not the same thing. 'Cause this survey didn't ask about good sex, it asked about more sex. Surely even the Men'sFitnessAskMenZooMaxim crowd has gotten the memo about quality over quantity by now, right?

It's also hard to get $50 in cash. I mean, you've got to work for it, unless you're willing to commit a criminal act--which, when executed correctly, does actually take work. It is sure not hard to get sex. It may be hard to get good sex, and it may be hard to get ridiculous amounts of any sex, but as a rule, if you just really needed to have it and weren't much bothered about where it came from, sex is a lot easier to get than $50.

Money-grubbing? No. Practical? Yes. Give me $50, and I can guarantee you that the chances of me having good sex--either because I paid my rent and I don't have to screw in an alleyway or because I bought a sweetass dress or because I'm just generally a happy, bangable person with $50--go way, way up.


Calvin said:

I have to admit, at first I thought this would be a knee-jerk "bashing" of some survey that happened to shed some unwanted truth on things. By the time I finished your piece, however, I saw that we totally agreed. The problem was the catchy summary of what the survey proved, not so much what it actually did. Clarifying terms for people (semantics) is always the FIRST step of communication, and you do a good job here.

kris said:

Yeah, that's a pretty ridiculous question. It doesn't say "any" sex, it says "more" sex. Sure, I'd love more sex, and I'm down around NEVER lately. But putting away $50 more a week for emergencies? That's just economical. Sex is a nice perk. Having money to pay bills is a necessity.

BorgQueen said:

Dammit, no one told me it's "layabout strumpet" day. I've been wearing my "frigid cash-obssesed bitch" outfit all day.

David said:

Isn't saving $50 or having more sex more or less the same thing?

I mean, when you really boil it down, it's either "Stop using any kind of birth control which costs $xx a month (thereby saving money) or keep having sex"

I might need a math major and an excel pivot table to figure out the monthly cost breakdown of a vasectomy for the above situation.

Bob said:

come live in northern ireland where soon all perscriptions will be free so my girlfriend will soon be paying nothing for the pill. as for condoms they give them away at family planning, which was great when i was a poor single student.

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