Eff you, would you like to win a great book, you jerk?
Posted at 1:05 PM Aug 20, 2009
By Andrea Grimes
For the past couple of weeks, I have been entertaining friends and this random dude who showed up at my house and had just pretty much decided to own my couch and honestly, would it kill this guy to go to the store and pick up, oh, I don't know, some toilet paper and maybe a replacement for all that sour cream he ate the other night!? with my advance copy of the Fuck You, Penguin book, which contains some greatest hits from the eponymous website, which features "telling cute animals what's what."
For example:
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"This baby gorilla got rejected by its mom, and you can totally see why. In fact, I'm not even sure why I'm featuring this ugly bastard on this blog. I mean, look at this kid. WHO COULD EVER LOVE THAT???!!! When I looked at this picture, I threw up a little bit.
San Francisco Zoo: Don't bother trying to help this miserable loser. Send him to me and I will "take care of him." You don't need to know about what I'll do, just know you'll never have to worry about looking at him again. In fact, send me this, too. And one of these. And anyone else you want to send me really. Trust me: you do not want to fuck with these animals. Leave it up to a professional."
Whereas months ago I was content merely to pimp out FU Penguin on this here blog, now I have become like super BFF's with the FU Penguin folks and have them catering to my every whim. (That's what friendship is, right?)
So here's the deal: e-mail us photos of your animals, children, what-have-you, and we'll pass them along to the Fuck You, Penguin people, to be returned with certified Fuck You, Penguin captions by Fuck You, Penguin founder Matthew Gastier. This is something you will want to print out, frame and pass on to generations to come. Not only that, the first two submissions will win copies of the new Fuck You, Penguin book, to be released August 25!
The deadline for photo submissions is this Monday, August 24. So many photos! Contest closed. Meeptimes!
So here's the deal: e-mail us photos of your animals, children, what-have-you, and we'll pass them along to the Fuck You, Penguin people, to be returned with certified Fuck You, Penguin captions by Fuck You, Penguin founder Matthew Gastier. This is something you will want to print out, frame and pass on to generations to come. Not only that, the first two submissions will win copies of the new Fuck You, Penguin book, to be released August 25!
