10 Things Mad Men Taught Me About Being A Lady

Posted at 5:00 AM Aug 19, 2009

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By Andrea Grimes

The much-anticipated third season of Mad Men debuted to much feminist fanfare this week. Rarely has a show captured a gender-titillated imagination the way this AMC insta-classic has, illustrating in a remarkable way how painful the personal-is-political battle has been. Through its misogyny, many of us find hope and humor and, by the sound of this introduction, hyperbole. Jesus H., but I can't help myself gushing on this show.

Never before has a television show made me feel my sheer ladyness in all things. Sometimes, this is because I see myself in the Joan's and Peggy's and Betty's. Sometimes, this is because I recoil in horror at the thought of becoming one of them--or imagining my mother and grandmother in their roles. Still, I've learned quite a bit about being a lady over the short course of the show, either because of the way it highlights how far we've come, or sometimes, how very far we have to go.

Here are 10 things Mad Men has taught me about being a lady.

10. Underpants: underneath, they're annoying the shit out of every last one of us.

Ask almost anyone what their most memorable Mad Men moments are, and chances are they'll come up with the introduction to the episode "Maidenform," featuring the Decemberists' "Infanta." From Joan's sore shoulders to Betty's tiny middle made even tinier with her white lingerie, we see each woman's struggle to be "put together." Sure, it's great not to have to wear a girdle any more, but really, Playtex, that 18-hour-bra is nothing I actually want to wear for 18 hours. And that's probably something even Sarah Palin would agree with me on.

9. The Pete Campbells of the world can be conquered ... using niceness.

Who knows what season three will bring, but I continue to be shocked and amazed at Peggy's dealings with the smarmy, self-involved Pete Campbell, whose personal mission in life it is to belittle her. Instead of lashing out, Peggy handles almost every Pete sitch with pure sugar. No, it doesn't work in all cases--nor should it--but sometimes, being painfully nice to the asshat misogynists of the world, couching your confidence and subtle insults in sweetness, is more effective than screaming at them in anger. Indeed, if you've reduced all women to the category of "dumb bitches" or similar, understanding the nuances of human interaction may not be your strongest point. Methinks Peggy may be waving to Pete on her way up the corporate ladder one of these days.

​8. Pay attention to the little things.

I blame Joan Holloway for the fact that I now keep meticulous care of my fingernails and actually put a pair of earrings on more than once a week. And the "little things" rule doesn't only apply to girly-ass girly-girls, neither. Or hell, even women in general--though having actual tits and an ass does make playing Joan pretty fun. Find a little thing to care about--the spike of your mohawk, the creamy tint of your skin--and take pride in it. Knowing you can keep up with one little thing well sometimes makes the bigger things seem eensy-weensy.

7. Sometimes, you just need to go out in the yard and start shooting at something.

Right, Betty?
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​6. Don't let the Father Gills of the world make you feel bad about your lady-self.

Oh, look who started off all nice and sweet and turned into a subtly judgmental, priesty-faced priesty-man. Colin Hanks, you don't fool me! Sure, Father Gill had some smart things to say to Peggy about forgiveness, but she had to decide for herself when and how to hear them. And really, when it came down to it, Peggy didn't need absolution from anyone but herself. Did Father Gill mean well? Probably. But those self-righteous types always do.