Posted at 10:45 AM Jul 16, 2009By Andrea Grimes
Time was, scientists figured women's libidos to be the same as men's and reckoned that if a woman wasn't walking around with a girlie hard-on, there must be something wrong with her. It's all centered around desire and arousal, with scientists assuming that desire preceeded arousal. Women who lacked "desire" were thought to have a "low libido." Now, scientists have decided that maybe there's nothing "low" about lady libido--it's just different--and that desire may come after a woman is aroused, not before.
Shocker! Viewing women's sexuality in terms of women rather than in terms of men! Who'dathunkit?! PsychologyToday takes on the issue:
"... what if desire does not precede arousal? That's what University of British Columbia psychiatrist Rosemary Basson, M.D., discovered in interviews with hundreds of women. Contrary to the conventional model, for many women, desire is not the cause of lovemaking, but rather, its result. "Women," Basson explains, "often begin sexual experiences feeling sexually neutral." But as things heat up, so do they, and they eventually experience desire.This presents a number of interesting questions, of course, with numero uno being: if some women don't experience desire before having sex, why do they do it?
According to Basson, for reasons that affirm their relationships but are not inherently sexual, wanting to please their lover, feel intimate, prevent strife, or make up after it. Basson's model supports an old saying about the difference between men and women: Men become intimate to have sex. Women have sex to become intimate.Seems overly simplistic, of course, but remember, we're not talking about all women, here, or all men for that matter. And hey, this part sounds pretty good to me: scientists wondered what kind of sexytime gets low-desire ladies going, and the answer is ... good sexytime! Gosh, nothing gets past these people:
... the type of sex that fuels desire is leisurely, playful, sensual lovemaking based on whole-body massage that includes the genitals but is not limited to them. This is the lovestyle that many surveys show women prefer, but often don't get. One of women's main sexual complaints is that men are non-sensual--too rushed, and too focused on the breasts, genitals, and a quick plunge into intercourse. Given Basson's view of women's desire, this complaint makes perfect sense.You mean to tell me--and stop me if I get this wrong--women don't want to be jackhammered within an inch of their life by a guy who thinks a tit-grab is foreplay? Amazing.