10 Teen Heartthrobs Who Grew Up to be Douchebags
Posted at 5:00 AM Jul 21, 2009
By Wynter Holden
Remember the sheer and utter glee madness of crushing on a celeb in your youth? Maybe it's a Jonas Brother or Joey Lawrence or Justin Timberlake, but it's nearly a given for every girl that some delicious teenage man-meat once made an appearance on her walls. And in her wardrobe. And in her school notebooks, where his last name always matched perfectly with hers amidst a sea of hearts and xoxoxoxos and "4EVA." But some things are not, alas, 4EVA.
We Dolls understand that's it's hard to be a celebrity. The attention, the endless partying, the free perks, the gazillion dollar salaries... and, OK, that whole being under a microscope thing. But when our teen crushes grow up to be criminals, converts and just plain douchebags, we get cranky. Here are just a few of the former dreamboats who've crushed our sweet, sweet memories with their adult douchebaggery.
 |
Tiger Beat, Teen Beat, 16. Kirk Cameron appeared on the cover of practically every teen mag in the late 80's, when he was starring as Mike Seaver on Growing Pains. He was the perfect blend of cute, all-American boy and rebel--the guy who was good enough to impress mom but bad enough to cause trouble (and a little stirring in teenage girls' pants). Then, the dude had to go all evangelical and start insisting anything racy/adult (read: realistic) be removed from the Growing Pains scripts. Evolution? A total lie. Are you a good person? Not according to Kirk! Despite his web site claims that he knows the Way of The Master, the only thing Cameron's mastered is how to sound like a complete douche.
9. Justin Timberlake
If Brit-Brit is any indication, maybe former Mouseketeers are just destined to go nuts after a few years in the spotlight. Just little ticking crazy time bombs with mouse ears. Fans can't seem to decide whether Timberlake is a nice guy or a jackass, and Timberlake can't decide either. One minute he's helping charities with his new single and the next he's cursing out reporters and spitting on fans. Granted, his grown-up bod makes us weak in the knees, but not weak enough to put up with his incredibly huge, massive, throbbing ... ego. What does Justin hate about his body? "Physically nothing. I'm well proportioned and nothing offends me when I look in the mirror," he told London's Daily Mirror. He also claimed that McDonald's stock climbed 25% after he "walked into their offices and changed their image." Pop quiz: Which one will still be a household name in 10 years -- McDonald's or Justin Timberlake?
8. Scott Baio
Baio's sexual prowess during the Charles in Charge and Happy Days years was legendary. He dated Denise Richards, Nicole Eggert, Jodie Foster, a bevy of Playboy Playmates, etc., etc., etc. But as the years went on, and everyone around him got married/had kids/grew up, this longtime "ladies man" just started to look pathetic. So he desperately slummed it in reality TV, offering up such gems as Scott Baio Is 45 ... and Single and Scott Baio Is 46 ... and Pregnant. And in 2007, he finally married longtime girlfriend Renee Sloan after he knocked her up. Gee, we wonder how that's gonna end ....
7. John Stamos
Technically, Stamos was almost 20 when he first starred on General Hospital, but he was definitely a favorite among young girls. Adult or no, teens swooned over Stamos and wished he was their Uncle Jesse IRL (even though that would've been a little pedo-creepy). Unlike most of the other stars on this list, Stamos' popularity and mega-hotness continued with roles on ER and Jake in Progress. Just when you're wondering why he made this list, he asks fans to touch his creepy-scarred belly button and does this fabulously drunk/stoned/whatever interview on Australian television:
6. Brad Renfro
Not to speak ill of the dead, but Brad Renfro was one seriously screwed up Hollywood heartthrob. Between taking pinup photos for Seventeen and showing his tight ass in Apt Pupil, Renfro was arrested a handful of times for everything from coke possession to trying to boost a 45-foot boat. Ironically, prior to his first starring role in The Client, the only acting experience he had was in a school anti-drug production. We know the temptation of drugs and alcohol is huge, and you were doubly at risk being a teen in Hollywood, so srsly, Brad. Why didn't you just say no?
Comments
I'll shamed to admit that I watched that semi-scripted debacle (45 and single) that Baio put together with his buddies.
I'm waiting for the follow up reunion show: Scott Baio is 55, divorced, paying alimony, and single again
Posted 07/21/2009 at 05:50:25 AMProps for the Apt Pupil mention, an amazing movie. Fucked up or no, Brad Renfro should have received more recognition for that role... then again when you are playing opposite Sir Ian McKellan it is understandable when your performance is a little overlooked.
Posted 07/21/2009 at 08:12:33 AMDespite the star power, I read Apt Pupil, and that was enough for me.
It's like how I keep meaning to go back and watch the directors commentary of Requiem for a Dream. And put it back two seconds after reminding myself how the movie goes.
Posted 07/21/2009 at 08:31:58 AMWow, no way dude that is totally insane!
RT
Posted 07/21/2009 at 03:54:44 PMwww.be-anonymous.tk
And she blew 'em all : http://www.filthyrichmond.com
Posted 07/21/2009 at 04:01:07 PMI wouldn't have included Danny on this list, but I can understand why you did. If you were going to include a '70 child star, Leif Garrett (sp?) should have copped the number 1 slot.
Posted 07/21/2009 at 04:09:32 PMLOL, Scott Baio I am not surprised!
RT
Posted 07/21/2009 at 04:17:28 PMwww.be-anonymous.tk
Couches are indeed for humping.
Posted 07/21/2009 at 04:35:06 PMConcerning Kirk Cameron: It's unfortunate that you think that someone who gives their life to Christ becomes a douchebag. In fact, this was the single most important thing he could have done in his entire life. Not only will he spend eternity in heaven with a loving God and everyone else who has given their life to Christ thoughout all of history, but while still here on this earth, he is doing his part to further the Kingdom of God. There will be a judgment day and everyone who has ever been born will stand before God. All of us are born sinners and we all will die sinners unless.....the blood of Jesus covers our sin. That's what it's all about. If Jesus' blood covers our sins, then when we stand before God and He judges us, Jesus says - "my blood has covered their sin and they are clean and have been forgiven." And then He will to those who belong to Him, "Well done good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of the Lord". But to those who have not been washed by His blood, He will say, "depart from me you workers of iniquity, I never knew you." And the place where you will go is a place of everlasting torment where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Please read the Bible - in it are the Words of Life.
Posted 07/21/2009 at 04:48:38 PMConcerning Kirk Cameron: It's unfortunate that you think that someone who gives their life to Christ becomes a douchebag. In fact, this was the single most important thing he could have done in his entire life. Not only will he spend eternity in heaven with a loving God and everyone else who has given their life to Christ thoughout all of history, but while still here on this earth, he is doing his part to further the Kingdom of God. There will be a judgment day and everyone who has ever been born will stand before God. All of us are born sinners and we all will die sinners unless.....the blood of Jesus covers our sin. That's what it's all about. If Jesus' blood covers our sins, then when we stand before God and He judges us, Jesus says - "my blood has covered their sin and they are clean and have been forgiven." And then He will to those who belong to Him, "Well done good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of the Lord". But to those who have not been washed by His blood, He will say, "depart from me you workers of iniquity, I never knew you." And the place where you will go is a place of everlasting torment where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Please read the Bible - in it are the Words of Life.
Posted 07/21/2009 at 04:49:40 PMThe best thing that happened to Kirk was giving his life to Christ. Wynter, you have done exactly what Christ said would happen to Kirk; you hate Kirk because of Christ. Now just think how much more truth Christ offers that you have missed. Like JS states, you will either be in hell weeping and gnashing your teeth with "cool" people or you can live for ever with Christ. I hope that you, too, become a Cameron Douchebag like I did 15 years ago.
Posted 07/21/2009 at 08:47:06 PMChrist, Cameron fcuked up and he can spend his lfe in eternal poverty, who cares?. he blew it.
Posted 07/21/2009 at 10:29:55 PMNews flash to the other posters, she obviously doesn't hate Kirk for his Christianity but finds him annoying for trying to push it on everyone else.
He's not a martyr people, don't make him one.
Posted 07/23/2009 at 02:32:12 PMCameron is a douchebag for being an intellectually dishonest creationist, it's that simple.
Posted 07/25/2009 at 03:23:20 AM"intellectually dishonest creationist". My guess is you don't believe there any intellectually honest ones.
Posted 07/26/2009 at 04:32:09 PMWell, there are those of them that argue for creationism without lying or omitting data. But just saying "God did it" sounds pretty unconvincing to me.
Posted 07/27/2009 at 12:37:45 AMOh my god! I went to that "Are You A Good Person?" site and I couldn't stop laughing. Hilariously terrifying. What a deluded, holier-than-thou jerk.
Posted 07/29/2009 at 07:14:55 PMChelsea- he includes himself in that. All they are really trying to do with that list is point out that we have all sinned against God. They are not trying to be holier than thou, because they consider the same things of themselves.
Posted 07/30/2009 at 07:44:54 PMJordan Knight is a douchebag because he has a mental illness? Wow.
Posted 08/05/2009 at 04:47:03 PMOkay, crazy Christ-worshippers:
Posted 09/05/2009 at 08:32:12 PMYes! Yes, the guy is being a good Christian! But the hate-mongering towards anybody who points out that he's being ridiculous about it makes you douchebags right along with him.
It's a humour sight. Lay off. If you don't think it's funny and don't have anything really constructive to say, just go away.
Also, didn't that As the Bell Rings star go batshit and punk himself out and try to sell "remember me" t-shirts to earn money?
This comment is on panic attacks. Panic attacks aka panic disorder is a real illness. Did it ever occur to you mental illness is not just a combination of words for the heck of it?
Posted 10/04/2010 at 08:52:28 PMPeople who are mentally ill suffer not only from the condition but quite usually from the stigma that goes with it.
Mental Illness stigma can and does lead to unfair discrimination in housing (NIMBY)*, higher education, work.
NIMBY Not in my backyard.
I am a mental health advocate in Phila, PA.